So this didn't happen today, but it's still a story worth telling. Long backstory turned short, I am schizoaffective and an acid trip once put me in a psychotic state for six years. In short, I came to believe the CIA had recruited me covertly for a mission. This mission in question? The official title I believed I had was messiah candidate; I thought I was to become famous with my writing, juggling, and performance art so I could awaken humanity from a deep slumber devoid of wisdom. Also I think I was a cop. It was a weird six years, I'll tell you that.

Over those peculiar, synchronous years where every moment felt like God was parting the Red Sea for me, I joined a cult that was posing as an environmental non-profit, before becoming homeless for three years as I traveled to the far ends of America on the whims of strange experiences with technology to see what it really was. All of it was training in my addled mind. 

But, the mission I came to believe I was accomplishing was creating a sex cult. In reality, I was making an educational project to teach philosophy, spirituality, and mental health skills to incels, neets, and porn addicts here on Reddit, while simultaneously creating honeypots. Basically, I wrote inspirational shitposts in the character of a deranged cult leader and then attracted attention to my writing by trolling at an atomic level, saying the most fucked up things imaginable.

Here, you deserve a light-handed example:

On a post about food - Oh man, my sister makes something that looks just like that. Tastes great. Shame I'll never get to taste her cooking again. The doctors told me she died, but I know that they really took her from me because the government knew our children would be too powerful. If you're a red blooded American who doesn't like big brother sticking his nose in your private business, consider helping us at r/cultofcrazycrackheads. We're the number one organization trying to legalize ethical incest in the western world.

Imagine something like that where that is like a one outta ten on the fucked up scale randomly shotgunned out to the posts I felt the CIA was putting in the front of my feed. I felt the whole cosmos depended on me while I was writing furiously for days at a time in what some of us call the Synchronicity Slip Stream. That led to a consistent trickle of people going down the rabbit hole I created and learning how to self-actualize as my handler and teacher taught me as they did so. 

While I was objectively successful in teaching, I was impulsively pushing boundaries to make the people I was trying to help feel that they weren't so broken as they might think. But, the Illuminati hadn't actually been in my brain; those years of my insane spiritual odyssey were not orchestrated by creating a Truman Show reality show around me and forcing me to make the best choices I could manage to perceive. So, the FBI got involved. 

I was wondering when the stars would align and I would become famous when I got v& in the park. They asked me a few questions before cuffing me and bringing me to the hospital, where I stayed a week and got on my current medication. I still have strange experiences, and I have no clue what was actually going on that whole time, but because these and more experiences opened me to the conclusion that my heart makes better sense than my brain, I embrace the wisdom of the cornerstone and try to be the best version of myself as well. 

I recognize now that what I was doing was offensive and triggering because it creates negative thoughts and emotions, and thus pain and suffering if someone stumbles into it unwillingly. I failed to properly understand how others would interpret what I did, being blinded by the perceived duty to help humanity that made everything seem like the most rational and effective solution to saving the world. There's a lot to be said about how I feel about all that, but basically I'm a fool. I can say I'm sorry a million times, but the best thing I can do is keep improving so I can be of the most service to my fellow passengers on this planetary vehicle. Be light and raise the vibrations of the garden the best I can, resting a better head than I woke up with just as negentropy does. May we all choose this life.

TL ; DR - trolled so hard because I believed the craziest things and bumped heads with the FBI as a result.