I feel for you OP. I'm a 56M, and can still remember times at parties or gigs, or whatever, 30 or 40 years ago, where my anxiety felt like a physical restraint on me. And we'd go our separate ways, some lovely human thinking that she'd read it wrong, that I want interested after all, when in fact I so desperately was.

But the past is the past, so don't beat yourself up over things you can't change. There's always a next time, and one of those next times you'll get it right!