Thank you for the kind words!

All i want to say is please dont torture urself u stopped when she asked and even tho it was bad what u did u realize that and take full responsability thats the first step! Its going to be a process and it will probably hurt and u will hate it but at least you are trying. I think its in moments like this that u need to take care of urself. Something i believe in is that there are no monsters in the world there are just people who make choices and take positions i believe that it is great that u care for this situation and u want to make things diferent bcs i know people who wouldnt torture themselves for something like that and wouldnt even mind what they did and would probably do it again. Thats what makes u diferent from other cenarios . So dont be so hard on urself or at least not as much as necessary in ur point of view.

I guess maybe u will never accept it sometimes we dont need to accept stuff u just have to know that it happen and u were wrong for what u did and that will stuck with u but at least u know that u will never do it again i bet there are people who even after hating what they did they do it again and this happens in alot of other cenarios.

Just know that if u need someone to talk to im here i dont promise im the best at giving advices but i can listen. All i really want if for both of u to be ok and to take care of ur mental health. And dont thank me for being understanding i really admire u for being able to talk about it and taking responsability and facing ur actions ig a part of me wishes that my "friends" had done the same but this post gives me hope somehow so thank you !

Take care and know that u matter too. Its not bcs u are not the victim that it makes ur feeling invalid its perfectly understandable that ur have a hard time. Just work on urself and take care!