Well first of all, I would like to applaud you for taking responsibility for your actions. As far as how you are going to live with yourself, you just need to put your big boy pants on and do it. You spoke to her after the fact and she essentially told you to get lost. So do it. And stop drinking. Clearly you can't handle your booze. The problem with alcohol is it magnifies personality traits that are already there. If you can't trust yourself to seek out consent when drunk then stay sober.