You're right, there is no excuse for what I have done. I am not looking or asking for or trying to make excuses. I fucked up by doing a fucked up thing. I am 100% at fault, regardless of my own personal issues. I bear responsibility for acting within what I know to be right despite my burdens and that time, I failed to do so. But I am not a rapist. I did not rape her and I was not attempting to rape her. I don't think I'm doing her or anyone else any favors by seeing this issue for anything other than exactly what it is: Sexual assault because of my lack of self control. I have always placed importance in showing her that I respect her boundaries, that we weren't ever going to do any activities or talk about any topics that would make her even slightly uncomfortable and every time I was being genuine from the bottom of my heart. But when it mattered the most I could not keep to that promise and I misused the trust she had built for me and that is inexcusable, and I am not trying to tell anyone otherwise.