YesIWearSocks t1_j1p5x6m wrote on December 26, 2022 at 6:53 AM

Frankly, I don't believe you have the right to cry about this. You fucked up. You should feel bad. This woman told you that she has trouble trusting men, and had been sexually abused in the past. Even when I drink, I feel no urge to molest my friends, neither do any of my friends. You need help. You also deserve judicial punishment. Regardless of how she treats it or if she doesn't want to report, you molested her. The right thing to do would be repent and turn yourself in. I know you're not going to do that, but you're going to have to live with the guilt of traumatizing this woman. I hope you lie awake with guilt every night, and she does alert the police. This is inexcusable. Feel bad, but you have no right to be as "devastated" as you are. Despite being drunk it was still YOU that molested her.

Melodic-Spite-5918 OP t1_j1pasb2 wrote on December 26, 2022 at 8:02 AM

I am aware that I am 100% at fault. I have actually thought about turning myself in but knowing her she might actually not want that because it could draw attention to what happened and I am unsure if she would want people around her to know about this. I would immediately confess if she pressed charges. I might actually suggest to her that she press charges. However, being devasted about this is not something I choose, nor is it something I need the to have the right for. I did something horrible and it is natural for me to feel horrible about it, the guilt eats me up and I am not searching for a way to get rid of it nor for an excuse to let myself sink into it, all I want is to figure out what the best way to move forward is, not for my own sake but so that this never happens again and so that maybe, if there is even the tiniest thing I can do for her to help her heal, that I can do that. As it stands now, the only thing I can do is to stay away and I am going to do that.

YesIWearSocks t1_j1q47e4 wrote on December 26, 2022 at 2:32 PM

I feel no sympathy for you. I know this will likely mean nothing to you, especially as I have made my disdain clear, but if you are truly remorseful for what you've done, never drink again. If you won't be punished by law, make something of yourself and this experience. Don't drink, and devote yourself to protecting women when possible. If she has to suffer through this, then you can use your privilege and experience to help other women and prevent this from happening to them. Also, seek therapy and don't harm yourself. However reprehensible your actions might have been, it won't solve anything. Rehabilitation is always the goal. I also suggest that you not contact her ever again, for her sake. It's the best thing you can do for her.

Melodic-Spite-5918 OP t1_j1q5617 wrote on December 26, 2022 at 2:41 PM

No, this means a lot actually. I don't mind if you feel disdain and no sympathy, I don't know you and what I have done is not deserving of sympathy in my opinion either. What you said about making sure to prevent other women from going through this reinforced me in my idea to devote my career to exactly that, as I have discussed in another comment. And you're right, there's nothing left for me except rehabilitation and staying away from her.

YesIWearSocks t1_j1q5p7g wrote on December 26, 2022 at 2:45 PM

I hope she gets good therapy and moves on from this. I hope you learn from this and help a lot of people. Have a good day.

Melodic-Spite-5918 OP t1_j1q5uj4 wrote on December 26, 2022 at 2:47 PM

Thank you kindly. Yes I do hope sincerely that she can heal from what I have done to her and I will try my best to help others. You have a good day too.