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chocolatecakedonut t1_j1nvasu wrote

Reply to comment by Melodic-Spite-5918 in TIFU: I molested the girl I like and now I don't know how to live with myself by Melodic-Spite-5918

Im mildy curious, but dont worry about sharing if its difficult for you. You fucked up majorly, but get in therapy and learn from your mistakes. Also maybe stop drinking.

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Melodic-Spite-5918 OP t1_j1nwyz2 wrote

I don't have trouble sharing, I specifically created this account to share my thoughts and feelings about this because I need to process it somehow right this instant so that I don't do anything to harm myself. To keep it at the very least somewhat short: My parents' marriage and my past relationships left me pretty disfunctional in terms of relationships and love, so now I have intimacy issues and commitment issues. I have become pretty insecure in my ability to find love but at the same time, whenever I do meet a girl who likes me or where I feel like I'd have a chance with her I run from it and avoid confrontation of the topic out of fear to either A) getting into a dysfunctional relationship that would cause harm to either one of us or B) jeopardizing a close friendship for a relationship that might not last, most of the time it's a combination of the two. That makes it pretty difficult for me to find physical or emotional intimacy so now I am somewhat starved for both which is already a problem in the emotional department as it leads to me latching onto people I like for emotional support, regardless of whether I'm romantically interested in them or not. As you can imagine, that leads to a whole other bunch of problems, e.g. the respective girls constantly getting their hopes up because of me sending mixed signals (if she happens to like me). Which is why I now tend to avoid close friendships with girls for the most part, as I do not want to have someone 'on the hook' just for them to get hurt by it over and over again. Which then lead to an even more severe lack of intimacy for me.

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BlahMan06 t1_j1o7rws wrote

Your issues don't fucking matter. You are a terrible person and have no excuse for this. You are disgusting and you should never be allowed alone with anyone ever again.

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eathquake t1_j1op2td wrote

And ppl like u r a big reason y ppl off themselves. U should never talk to anybody depressed in any way, especially when they r trying to get it off their chest and know they fucked up. He isnt trying to say he was justified. He fucked up, he knows it, and everybody knows alcohol fucks ur ability to do most things so u cant say he should never b alone again because of a fuck up while drunk.

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rekeesthurt t1_j1oqr9a wrote

Boo hoo. Dont drink then. I and many others dont drink. If you KNOW you have issues and that you could potentially be a liability then maybe don't choose to ingest a substance that impairs your ability to make good decisions.

Nobody needs to get drunk or take drugs.

You can't sexually assault a girl then go "ah well I was drunk oopsie, not totally my fault though haha" You chose to drink, you bear responsibility for your actions while intoxicated.

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eathquake t1_j1orfyy wrote

Yes u bear reaponsibility. Still not death. Thats still not the appropriate punishment for this.

Edit: please also note that if all ppl could control their alcohol issues, aa would not b nearly as needed in society

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BlahMan06 t1_j1oqomd wrote

People like you are why rapists get off with a warning and victums of sexual assault off themselves. You take zero thought into how the victum feels, this isn't depression, this isn't something that you can take back. This is sexual assault and there should be zero tolerance for it.

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eathquake t1_j1or7p5 wrote

At what point did i say he shouldnt b in trouble for what he did? He should c a therapist, so should she, if charges r pressed he should own up to it and face the legal consequences. In case u werent sure, the legal system tends to dislike ppl committing suicide and prefers ppl to attone for their crimes. This is why the death penalty is rare and is usually reserved for mass murderers and the like. He fucked up, but she isnt dead and can be helped. He made a stupid fuck up and needs mental help for the depression, the issues with interacting other people, and likely controlling himself and alcohol.

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Originally_Hendrix t1_j1pwku5 wrote

Bro chill. People like you are the problem. Whenever someone like op is trying to get help or advice because they know they fucked up, we have people like you immediately making them feel worse.

No wonder people kill themselves before seeking help. Judging by your words. You're a terrible person too

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zoozbuh t1_j1pz1qx wrote

This kind of reply literally isn't helpful to anyone and will only make him more resentful, toxic and probably increase the chances of him doing something bad again OR commiting suicide. If someone has acknowledged they did a very bad thing and is showing remorse, this kind of reply isn't constructive or helpful.

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Melodic-Spite-5918 OP t1_j1pbuiw wrote

You're right, there is no excuse for what I have done. I am not looking or asking for or trying to make excuses. I fucked up by doing a fucked up thing. I am 100% at fault, regardless of my own personal issues. I bear responsibility for acting within what I know to be right despite my burdens and that time, I failed to do so. But I am not a rapist. I did not rape her and I was not attempting to rape her. I don't think I'm doing her or anyone else any favors by seeing this issue for anything other than exactly what it is: Sexual assault because of my lack of self control. I have always placed importance in showing her that I respect her boundaries, that we weren't ever going to do any activities or talk about any topics that would make her even slightly uncomfortable and every time I was being genuine from the bottom of my heart. But when it mattered the most I could not keep to that promise and I misused the trust she had built for me and that is inexcusable, and I am not trying to tell anyone otherwise.

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Training-Throatt t1_j1qiwwx wrote

>I did not rape her and I was not attempting to rape her.

No, you DID attempt to rape her when you stuck your hands between her legs. Just because you weren't violating her with your penis doesn't mean it wasn't attempted rape. You were trying to touch her vagina and/or penetrate her. The line between sexual assault and full blown rape is pretty thin and just because you didn't continue to cross that line doesn't mean that isn't what you intended. You're a fucking disgusting person and shouldn't be alone with a woman ever.

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BlahMan06 t1_j1pdaqt wrote

I have 0 empathy for you. You should be locked up. You've given her more trauma and pain. You should turn yourself in.

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