From an old guy. You have to decide if you are in it for the long haul. My in-laws are challenging, I do the stuff I am asked but I have outs that I can take so I am not a complete dick about doing them. Does it suck? Sometimes. Can I find spaces of fun? Yeah. Do I have to bail at times? Yeah, but my wife and I have 3 kids and have done a ton of stuff together and when she has my baggage to carry she does it. Life has obligations and partners carry them together. They aren’t your family so you can’t remember the great times so they value isn’t there. However if you love and value her, the happiness these activities give her should make you happy.

If none of that is true let her find someone who can be uncomfortable from time to time to have her be happy.