TIFU by jacking off so hard I dislocated my knee cap

Submitted by Williamsirbuttler t3_yxc7rd in tifu

Today I (18m) woke up having the absolute meanest draw back of NNN you could ever imagine. So I went to my bathroom to do my business standing up because my toilet seat was freezing cold, and decided to use lotion for lasting this long in NNN as a special occasion. The feeling was so special that it had my legs going numb and shaking a shit ton, next thing I know as I'm shaking my legs (specifically twisting and turning my knees) that I felt and heard the biggest pop from my right knee followed by me looking down and seeing my knee cap on the right side of the knee area. So cleaned my hands and found a way to pull up my pants then called my fire fighter dad (55m) and told him that my knee cap is dislocated and I need an EMT. .05 grams of fentanyl later I'm in the hospital still with the worst pain I've ever imagined and typing this waiting for the doctor to inject me with with whatever sleeping meds so they can pop it back in place all because i almost broke the one rule of NNN (I didn't get to finish because my knee popped before I nutted so I'm technically not disqualified)

TL;DR jacked off so hard god reminded me of which month it was before I could finish and am now in the hospital

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Comments

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Wynotboth t1_iwo1w95 wrote

I’ve dislocated my kneecap multiple times and never needed to go to a hospital to have it fixed. It just slides back into place, so I’m having a little trouble believing this.

5

Zlifbar t1_iwoao46 wrote

Your actually fuck up was participating in something idiotic like NNN.

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TypiquL t1_iwoc31x wrote

Replying to Zlifbar (#551,137)

Excuse me? Participating in a trend that promotes male sexual abstinence.

We live in a world of instant gratification. NNN prepares the mind for the explicit things that go on over Christmas. Typically when riding the sleigh into the Ho Ho Ho.

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whats-reddit17 t1_iwogfm2 wrote

Replying to Wynotboth (#550,652)

When my knee dislocated I put it back in but then I had no bending in my leg at the knee. So I went to the Dr. And they were surprised I was able to pop it back in without any pain.

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Semi_K t1_iwp3u4z wrote

Knee jerk reaction.

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FatPuppy1996 t1_iwpcg6p wrote

With enough force, you can put it back in place, no need to wait that long. Also, tell the doctors to look for any ligaments in that area that might be tore, broke for good, I didn’t. Now I have screws in to support the whole thing. Knees are no joke.

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Garmgarmgarmgarm t1_iwpo9v0 wrote

.05g of fentanyl is enough to kill 25 adult humans. So I dont think that's what they gave ya boss.

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crazyboy611285 t1_iwpof25 wrote

OOF buddy i know how a knee dislocation feels...

My right knee cap decided to take a vacation to the side of my leg while at work.

Best of luck to your recovery man.

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TheRealPequod t1_iwpvekf wrote

Replying to Zlifbar (#551,137)

It's actually a really gratifying thing to refrain from. Didn't give a shit this year but did it last year and learned a lot about self control and fighting urges. So much cope from people who couldn't get past the first obstacle. Their brains convincing them it's stupid so that the dopamine doesn't go away. Go ahead and downvote me if you're weak as hell. Too weak to even consider it properly, let alone make it a week. “UhHhHH ItS bAd FoR YoU” keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better about having no mental fortitude. What's actually bad for you is beating off twice a day to fucked up porn. Bad for your mind. There is no physical consequence to refraining. It's not hard to just look up.

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virgilreality t1_iwrky1i wrote

By the title alone, I'd say you're doing it wrong...

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NotAFakeP t1_iwtyyru wrote

Replying to Williamsirbuttler (#557,395)

I would venture to say you heard incorrectly, our ambulance only carries 300 micrograms of fentanyl, which comes to 0.0003 grams. Can confirm that half a gram would in fact cause you to be unalive.

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