Many moons ago when I had long hair, I was walking down the main street of the city I lived in then and felt something touch my head. Being the cool long haired dood on the street, I casually ran my fingers through my locks only to be stung between two fingers by a bloody great wasp which then proceeded to hover in front of my face giving me full eye contact until the pain kicked in. Well, off he fucked on his merry way while I turned into the crazy guy that everyone crosses the street to avoid.

All I remember is pain and swearing, oh, and also the old lady who had watched the entire event from a bench she was chilling on. That's what brought me back down to earth, I thought she was having some kind of seizure. She was holding her mouth whilst coughing and crying with her other hand on her chest. Turns out she was laughing so hard she nearly spat her false teeth out and her chest was sore because she could hardly take a breath from laughing so much.

I really wanted to call her a heartless bitch but apart from not being able to make a fist for a couple of days, I was fine and she had probably prevented me being carted off to the nearest funny farm for my own good.

Fuck wasps!

Edit: typo and just to add, fuck all wasps!