She's never going to forget what you've said. Your apology might resonate at some point, but it'll never mean much to her. And it certainly won't take away the power of what you've said to her.

Honestly, it seems as though there might be a little resentment toward her about this, counseling would be my first approach for sure.

But yeah, idk if anything you can say/do will fix this, unfortunately. Is there a word for the feminine equivalent to being immasculated by your partner? Her self esteem is likely taking a massive hit rn, she needs to be reminded how much she means to you.