Obligatory: yesterday i fucked up
So i was having a good time with my friends, chatting drinking. After half a bottle of wine, a mojito, some gin, i somehow couldn't catch my last train so i slept at my one of my friend's house. She's super cool and asked if i wanted to smoke a bit, why not, right? So she pulled out a bong, and i've never smoked from a bong, but it must be like the usual stuff, so i took a clumsy first hit. It was fine, it didn't really affect my already drunk mind. So i took a second hit, my lungs are pretty big and i'm used to filling them with sisha, so i filled them with this second hit as well. I started coughing furiously as espected, but it was also a bit nauseating, so i went into the bathroom and rested my head above the sink.
And then the trip hit me like a flaming bullet train hit a bird that flew onto the wrong tracks. I was on a ride to the deepest levels of hell and i've bought the express no return ticket. I started having normal dreams, but a lot, and every so often i realized i was trapped in dreams, and had a nano panic attack. I clearly remember asking myself "This is hell, when will it stop?"
Then my friend came in the room and asked me something, probably about how was i feeling. And that grounded me in my reality. Getting out of an endlessly repeating panic attack felt like pure bliss. All i could muster to her was "It's been 50 years." Because it felt like hours has passed in the perpetual pit of darkness, and i was still trying to entertain her with a titanic meme. She replied "it's been 10 minutes" And my world crumbled for a bit, but not for long, because at this point i had my perception of reality reduced to 2 simple axioms.
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I exist above a sink, i am touching the sink, and all is right in my world
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I am hearing my friend's voice, and all is right in my world.
It was a very humbling experience, i also hallucinated hearing my friend talk with someone, and leaving down the stairs when she wasn't in the room. As she later confirmed she never did those things. Oh yeah, i totally forgot. Talking was extremely difficult.
I humbly existed in my world of 2 things, but she was trying to have a conversation. Imagine if you will, trying to prove that the Earth is round to a flat earther, in a language you don't know, and you can only use a translated vocabulary book. I was probably averaging a whopping 1 word per second in my responses. My mouth wasn't a part of my world so i had to force it in, and i was forming sentences going by what the previous word was in my sentence. Forming sentences when you don't know what the whole sentence will look like is pretty weird. But i made do.
And then she asked me to look up. And my world was completely broken. I can look. Holy shit, things exist beyond the sink and i can see them. Joy and terror rushed through me as i realized that nothing will ever be like me and the sink again. It honestly felt like i was enlightened. I knew everything about that world, it was a simple peaceful existence. But nevertheless, i was in the real world again, after like 30 minutes of sink hugging. Which really did feel like something between hours and years.
The nausea was gone and i was quietly discovering every piece of furniture that i forgot about. After that she escorted me to her room and we watched silly movies 'till we fell asleep.
So the pros of the experience:
- great company
- potent stuff
- funny movie
- things that exist
- sink
- caretaker isn't just a voice
Cons:
- the deepest pits of hell were a bit too warm
- there are things other than the sink
- i know what acute psychosis means
- my ticket to h-double-hockeysticks were non refundable
Tl:dr
I drank and smoked too much and then i forgot my knowledge of reality for half an hour.
OceanSupernova t1_iy1al2p wrote
Doesn't sound like a fuck up to me. Happy you had a great experience and had someone there to look after you. You had fun, didn't throw up and didn't do anything embarrassing so I'd definitely count that as a win.