Ex's are supposed to remain ex's for a reason. Why would you go over to his house, especially at his mom's request when you know he's interested in someone else?

Well he also wanted me to come. We are remaining friends, the problem was that I didn’t know he had a new girlfriend and I didn’t know his mom would act that way.

Hence why ex's are supposed to remain ex's.

If it's unclear where you two stand and if you still have feelings for him then you two are not "just friends."

I don't understand why he's your friend right now anyway. Don't you have enough friends that you can cross your EX off the list. It's not worth the stress. Make new friends.

Plus, you're probably making it a lot easier for him after your break up because you're still in his life and you're still sticking around. He doesn't have to choose between the two of you because you're both in his life. You have to cut him off so that real decisions can be made and you can both move on. How are you going to get over him if he's still in your life?

What's that rule for truly getting over someone? They have to be completely out of your life for twice as long as your relationship was.

You know, there’s no requirement to remain friends after a break up. And if you can’t actually handle being only friendly to each other, then you’re in denial about the situation.

You pure fool.

I don't know about that... it depends on their history before they got together. Just my opinion.

People who go back to their ex's this easily blow my mind, you obviously want to get back with him. Who invites their ex to thanks giving no his girl at the time, dude's tired of fucking his current gf so he invited you to have a shot lol. I mean you can wait till he takes you back but he's gonna be fucking someone on the side like he has been all this time doesn't sound like he gives a shit about you

All I see are red flags OP. Even if you guys are remaining "friends", he's clearly shown that only does he not respect you, and relationships, but he also does not respect his new girlfriend. Is that really someone you want to friends with? Let alone in a relationship with? He's already proved you can't trust him once, don't let him make it a third time. Take it from someone who knows, keep your distance and work on yourself, this will only end badly in the long run with your feelings and most likely his current girlfriends hurt as well.

If you want an easy life, just cut ties with exs. It's not worked out, best to move on and not stay in touch. The friends thing rarely works out and almost always causes issues with their/your new relationships

Just stop hanging with him and his family?😭 problem solved. If they invite you places, make excuses.

why did you even go? OP sounds like a b

Being friends with an ex is a bad idea if you haven't had an appropriate "cool down period". Obviously there are exceptions to this, but it makes it really hard to move on when you are still involved in each other's lives.

It sounds like his mother and her friends act/talk that way all the time! Don't you find it strange that they all had opinions about your relationship? Rest assured, they talked about you after you left. It's best to move on before their gossiping causes you harm.

Yeah, she is constantly trying to get me to “wait for him” and thinks I need to let him learn. She says he will “stop cheating after he learns a bit” but idk if he deserves my time after cheating on me

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So, you went to your ex's( who you still have feelings for) mom's for Thanksgiving, and thought what? She wasn't going to bring the two of you up?

Totally agree.

Outside of certain situations, it should be pretty easy to step away from a relationship and end the friendship. Otherwise, you invite more pain, confusion, and slower healing.

How? She went as a friend, and was put on blast by his mom and rightly felt very awkward.

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How is she at fault for that? Personally, I don't think she should've went, but she isn't a B for going in the slightest.

I know, I have realized that. I will be keeping space. I just feel really bad for his new girlfriend. Even though his intentions may not had been bad I feel like the fact that he hid him being in a new relationship was almost asking for a situation to start

YOU DON'T KNOW? When you take back a guy who has cheated on you, it gives him a green light to continue his behavior and you can NEVER, EVER trust him. Add in his mother who obviously has no boundaries then you are the one that needs "to learn a bit." You shouldn't trust either of them! Please stop wasting YOUR time on them! Go out and find an HONEST, RESPECTFUL and LOVING new guy that will treat you as you DESERVE! Yeah, it will take time, but please DON'T SETTLE for what you're going through now.💕

Maybe this is unusual - I’m still in touch with an ex’s family and have even been to their thanksgivings, even in periods where my friendship with my ex was in a rocky place lol. They’re just awesome people and I genuinely like them. Not once in the 7-8 years since we’ve broken up have they mentioned anything about the possibility of us getting back together, or wishing we would, or anything like that. It can happen! But maybe not often lol.

He’s just keeping his options open, he’s using you as a back up….keep you on the shelf ready to go in case he needs you. Ex’s being friends only works if the romantic part is dead and buried, you still have feelings so you are just going to get hurt.

Uhh stop hanging with his family. I have never understood why family would invite someone's former bf/gf if things are super awkward or recent. (not unless kids are in the picture) smh

It wasn't right to go. I'd stay out of it.

Not a B, just ignorant.

Counterpoint: I have an instinctive distrust of anybody who isn't good friends with at least one of their exes.

Are you going to tell me that you liked this person enough to date them but that in every single instance whatever caused you to stop being romantic also caused you to never want to talk to them again? Sounds like a red flag to me, dawg.

Dude's mom is entirely in the wrong here, mind you. In that situation I have been known to deliver a pointed "Mom, we are done, we are FRIENDS".

My friends were talking to my first ex for agessss. Like ages after I moved interstate (like 1700kms away). They may well still talk to her... but I wouldn't know. I don't really talk to them anymore and you can probably work out why.

She'd be better off blocking him. Then she doesn't need to make excuses. Just move on for real.

People are fucking crazy.

In this specific episode in order: mother, OP, exbf.

Ok im a lil different to most. If you have no support/family etc, it can be hard to let go of an ex's family. I think you need to have a convo with your ex and be honest about your feelings. Your feelings about him but that u get it's over and about his family. If he has a new gf and u r truly supportive, great! When his family invites you, try saying "oh are "ex bf name" and "new gf name" coming? It would be great to see them!" That's the best sort of support. Do u get along with his new gf?

Lastly maybe think why u r friends still. Do u wanna stay friends with the hope of reuniting in time? Or just because u enjoy the friendship? If it's just for the friendship, u need to champion his cause and his choices.... particularly with his family.

Good luck!

You’re honestly lightyears ahead of your peers and I’m proud of you for being an honest and down to earth person. I don’t think you messed up that bad, it was a learning curve you both endured. It’s worth noting that she’ll probably attempt to control who is in his life, one by one she’ll make comments and make him decide. Hopefully that doesn’t happen but if it does, I hope he bails.

TLDR: you didn’t fuck up, you’re a genuine person-rare creature

This happened with me, we broke up and I moved across the country (USA). I moved back and don’t talk to any of them 😂

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Dude my girlfriend's mom still invites her ex husband to Thanksgiving and Christmas. He's never showed, but I had to pull her aside, because it's clearly upsetting my girlfriend. I don't know why parents try to do this, like what planet are you living on?

When I become the ex, I cut all ties. No family, no friends we share, no alone time with them. It just makes things awkward, and causes pain to everyone involved. On top of that, I don't want to see any of them anyway.

Cut ties with him, you'll feel 100% better being free to pursue someone that actually cares about you.

Yeah well, I won't be moving back. My sister lived here before me and mum moved over after. It's 12 years since I moved here and I've bought a house here.