Submitted by floreality t3_yts9yc in tifu
palegate t1_iw6l8rd wrote
"-It's okay, I'm glad you made it home safe
---as it turns out i did not"
If a person had the wits about them to come out with that answer, I'd be more amused than worried.
Unlikely_Ad_7030 t1_iw6x0df wrote
Dear beloved It is with my deepest condolences and a bit of blood in my mouth that I write to you now, to inform you that I am in fact not safely within my abode, but rather curled up in a ditch just off I95. You need not come to my rescue, as the mud here is actually quite comfortable and the homeless vagrants are good company. From your favorite corpse to be, Susan
TolMera t1_iw72h8a wrote
Baldrick: “But did he really have to dot the I with his kidney?”
Black Adder: “No Baldrick; I think it just kind of… fell there.”
Salt-Firefighter-194 t1_iwaaq0g wrote
There is almost an identical conversation in Red Dwarf.
Cat: "What I don't understand is why he went through the trouble of using his kidney as a full stop.."
Rimmer: "I don't think he meant to do that, it probably just..ploped out"
TolMera t1_iwac4bz wrote
The black adder quote is made up, because I knew I had heard this on a show somewhere, and google was not yielding any results for “killed write blood kidney skit”
Thank you for telling me where I had this joke in my head from. Damn Red Dwarf was good
Salt-Firefighter-194 t1_iwacg17 wrote
It's one of my favorites and I have like 7 seasons on Google TV. This episode is Psirens. Just watched it last night lol. Always love meeting other Dwarfers.
TolMera t1_iwack32 wrote
Rimmers world always gives me a giggle.
And the double Polaroid haha
Salt-Firefighter-194 t1_iwacpxn wrote
Yes! Did you know they actually did a pilot once for an American version? It was awful!
TolMera t1_iwacyhe wrote
I did not know, I imagine it’s somewhere in the bowels of YouTube?
If you have not, checking out Orville is worth it, another space comedy
Salt-Firefighter-194 t1_iwad1lj wrote
Yes it sure is. I will definitely check it out, I think I've heard of it before.
sosotrickster t1_iw9l8qu wrote
Legit read this in the voice of Lazlo from What We Do In The Shadows lmao
Katters8811 t1_iw9yt5k wrote
Omg... so did I!!! 😂
JellyfishGod t1_iw9ypwx wrote
I may just start ending all my emails and letters with that last line “from your favorite corpse to be, jellyfishgod”
freebat23 t1_iwak9lw wrote
not I95 lmaooo
Vinceszy t1_iwbcv7s wrote
Sounds like Eugene in TWD.
floreality OP t1_iw6mc4j wrote
I'm a sarcastic individual and I'd like to think that, in the universe in which I wasn't okay, I texted him that and then promptly lost consciousness
danderskoff t1_iw7d6h5 wrote
As someone who is sarcastic down to my soul, every stressful or serious thing I've been in, I always crack jokes.
My mom's boyfriend shot himself in the foot on accident - nonstop jokes.
I broke my foot in several places- you bet I'm making jokes at my own expense.
My grandmother died - yeah I'm making jokes about how she used to be. And then probably doing a little crying afterwards.
floreality OP t1_iw7tnjm wrote
LMAO YEAH that's the only way to process traumatic experiences
keijodputt t1_iw7ue1l wrote
>My grandmother died - yeah I'm making jokes about how she used to be. And then probably doing a little crying afterwards.
Granny was the toughest and funniest person I've come to live with. The whole family (sons & daughters, cousins, nieces & nephews, grandchildren, great-grandchildren), friends, me included, were cracking jokes, all day, non-stop, at her funeral.
Even the farewell elegy was laugh after laugh at the comedic events of her long life. There was not much crying, but no bad feelings whatsoever. We all loved her, we all enjoyed her presence in our lifetimes; but her time on this Earth was due; we all knew she was ready to go, so that was it.
She always looked on the bright side of life (whistles).
RepublicOfLizard t1_iw97j4s wrote
Humor is definitely one of my coping mechanisms as well. And I can always tell when I’m making a genuine joke, or I’m just trying to make light of a very serious situation, because my therapist won’t laugh at the latter.
slothxaxmatic t1_iw958bw wrote
CHEDDAR BOB!
jaffa3811 t1_iw6ymuo wrote
I would type this out with my dying breath
Raganox t1_iw8zsh5 wrote
Im imagining morgan freeman narrating that exchange
ArbutusPhD t1_iw9moqb wrote
—- indeed, my Goodman, I am currently in a state similar to the Queen’s uneaten oatmeal!
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