The TIFU was committing a low key version of embezzling from you SO. As a SAHP, you should have access to your own money - you are taking on a role that would cost money if you didn't do it (A LOT!!!) - he just happens to be doing the role that brings in the money. However, that really should be a mutually agreed thing (ideally before you quit your job). Your approach probably cost a fair amount in interest - so the deception not only was emotional, but has a real financial cost too.