This happened a few months back but I wasn't really ready to talk/write about it up until now...
A few years back I met this girl "J" online. She was really nice and we started talking up to a point where we would do late-night calls to tell each other about our days. She would go on about how she didn't feel safe with her boyfriend back then or about problems with her father, while I finally had someone to tell about my day. We would give each other advice or just be there to listen. It started off as a great friendship and someday it just got more than that. We started meeting up as often as we could (we lived 250km apart) and eventually got together after she dumped her allegedly abusive boyfriend for me. (I never felt bad for him up until now. She told me all about how he hit her and I actually thought he didn't deserve better than to be left)
Anyways after we got together COVID struck, which in our case was pretty much the best thing that could've happened. My school allowed all students to work from home to reduce the risk of infection. I spent the majority of the following months at her place. We got to spend a ton of time together, I cooked for us, helped her care for her horse and even cleaned the place sometimes. Some people told me to stop doing so much for her but I guess one could argue I was kind of blinded by love.
It went on like that for one and a half years. We started to argue a lot. She was getting really jealous about everything I did and every girl I talked to, while she kept meeting with her male friends. I was never the one to tell her what to do as I fully trusted her but it kind of hurt that she couldn't give that trust back the same way. Right around that time, in the Fall of 2021, her company sent all the apprentices to vocational school for around 4 weeks. I took the train back home as she wouldn't be home Mondays to Fridays anyways and I had to get some work done with my classmates for our final paper.
I tried to keep in touch as well as possible with texts and calls but J seemed to grow more distant each and every day. At first, she stopped replying to my texts right away, then she stopped taking my calls and we only got to talk to each other for a few minutes every other day. What made that situation even worse is that our conversations got pretty one-sided. She only talked about herself and her time at that school anymore. How she had met this great new girl (who tbh with everything she told me about her was pretty much a complete slut) with whom she really got along with. She talked about how they would spend the night in the boys' rooms and how her friends would get drunk together. (She assured me that she'd stay faithful and wouldn't drink) We got into so many fights that I finally lost count. We decided to take a break then and there.
It only took a few weeks for both of us to actually realise how we missed one another. We got talking again and she apologized many times and so did I. As we couldn't see each other again until after Christmas, we decided to spend the time like in the days we met and played a lot online together. At the same time, I also wrote my final paper with two of my closest friends (let's call them "P" and "M"). It was shortly before Christmas when I first introduced P to my girlfriend J. We all shared the same passion for the same games and it was fun in our little group of three.
Christmas came around and I drove down to J to finally meet up with her and make up for good in person. We had a great time for a few days and when I had to drive home for new-years, she asked if she could come with to spend more time with me and to meet my best friend in person as she was apparently curious about the person who she was talking with for the last weeks. I agreed and we got into my car. A few hours later we arrived at my house and spend a nice evening together, taking a late-night drive and watching people start fire-crackers at midnight.
The next day we met up with my best friend to watch a movie. That is where everything went south. What I didn't realise was that she was holding hands with him the whole movie long. When we finally got home that night, she sat down on the bed and told me that she was apparently very sorry but she had held hands with him the whole movie long. She told me she didn't want it. That he just grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go and that as he was my best friend she wouldn't want to piss him off. She told me that it was just holding hands and I wouldn't have anything to worry about.
That day my world shattered. I just didn't know it yet. I didn't want to believe it myself and she was really good at manipulating people so I just believed her when she bombarded me with so many apologies and nearly started to cry (in hindsight: at least she acted that way). I sat down next to her, comforted her and told her that it was alright and I wasn't mad at her. Which I actually wasn't. I wasn't mad. I was devastated.
We already planned a billiard night the next day and I didn't want to cancel on short notice because of that and it happened again. Same thing. I got home and she broke down telling me he grabbed her hand again. I was actually pretty stupid to not do anything about it tbh. I was never one for confrontation and was always a shy person back then.
We met again the day after because we had already bought tickets for the spa. I made some slight hints at my best friend that he should keep his distance because she was my girlfriend and I actually thought we worked it out and it was just a misunderstanding on his part that he didn't know we were back together after our break. We got to talk about some popular sights near J's place and how it would be totally worth it for him to visit them someday. He mistook that as an invitation and told us he'd be happy to accompany us on our drive back to her place if we would take him on a tour and show him around the beautiful landscape.
As he was my best friend and I didn't want to hurt him and I thought he would finally keep his distance from J, I couldn't bring it over me to tell him he couldn't come. So the next day we drove back to her place in the middle of the night. Just us three. We arrived around midnight. I was pretty exhausted that night because of the four-hour drive (I was the driver the whole time and we didn't take a break). Anyways when we arrived J told me she was too tired to search for bed sheets and as her dad wouldn't allow someone to sleep on their couch, we should just sleep in one bed. The three of us. Honestly, I couldn't have argued with her even if I wanted to as I fell asleep right there when I lay down on the bed.
--v-- NSFW part starts here --v--
I can tell you that no matter what you fear could happen in the darkness, what monsters could attack you, nothing comes close to the horror you feel when you wake up at 3 AM to your girlfriend moaning. I turned around and saw her cuddled close to his chest, rubbing herself on him in her sleep. I thought I was dreaming. I was imagining things. I got sick and ran to the bathroom and had to vomit while having my first-ever mental breakdown. I never knew you could cry without feeling anything but starting from that day I noticed that you can and that it's way worse than when you actually feel the sadness. I was shaken and couldn't get the picture out of my head. I ran to my car, cranked the music to maximum volume and just sat there crying, punching my wheel. For about two hours straight until my best friend knocked at my window asking if everything was alright. I did what everyone in that situation would do and kindly told him to fuck the hell off. When I calmed down I went back in and confronted J. She broke down in tears and told me she was not responsible for what she did in her sleep and that she probably subconsciously thought that it was me and not him. We argued and argued until the morning when we went to the stables to care for her horse. We decided to still take my best friend for the trip to one of the tourist attractions. As this was the first ever day I was feeling that low, I didn't really know how to handle it and just stepped on the gas on the way there. We were doing 150 km/h on country roads and close to 100 km/h in local towns we passed through. All the time I hoped we would crash and all die. For some inexplicable reason, we actually survived the trip even though I did come close to slipping off the road on more than one occasion. I can still remember them both. The fear in their eyes and how they wouldn't dare to say a thing. How they'd cling to the seats and the door.
Before me and my former best friend, P, drove home that night, I got into an argument with J again and set her an ultimatum. To break off contact with P and never talk to him again. That was the first time I did something like this. After a lot of discussions, she finally told me she'd break off contact with him because I was way more important to her than he was. She asked to talk to him one last time in private to tell him that. Well as I later got to know she told him the exact same thing as soon as I left the room. That she would break off contact with me because P was more important to her even though she only knew him for about a week at that time.
Jumping forward in time... I and P both agreed to break off contact with her because she tried to play us that badly. She apparently also assured him the whole time that we weren't a couple anymore and that I would be totally okay with everything that happened between them. Furthermore, she was also the one who did the first step on the whole holding hands thing and the cuddling at night.
I admitted myself to the psych ward because I felt like I couldn't go on like this anymore and because I was devastated. By the time I got out and back to school, I realised that P was still chatting with J and that they were meeting in secret behind my back.
I broke down completely. I started cutting and tried to kill myself more than five times in the following three months. I got admitted into psych six more times, one of them being because of a sleep medication overdose and several times because of suicide threats in front of teachers, family, cops and 112 operators. The last time I got admitted was because I tried to jump off a building (an EMT managed to grab me and save my life that day). My best friend stood by and watched. The worse I got the more he kept his distance until he finally broke off contact completely.
Don't trust the people you think you trust the most because they'll hurt you the most.
~ I am 20M, currently in therapy and starting to do better. Step by step.
My former best friend P started dating J back then and they're still happily together and both broke off contact with me
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TL;DR TIFU by introducing my best friend to my girlfriend only to find them cheating on me a week later. They then broke off contact with me completely and are now happily together
Spiritual_Poo t1_iy1h1xr wrote
Damn son, stay in therapy for the time being. Also eventually you're going to look back on the whole thing and realize she played you from day one. You got used, hard. That shit is wrong. Entirely possible your best friend is a few months or a year or two behind you taking the same ride. Honestly she sounds like a maneater, be glad you got out when you did and hope your friend gets clear of her someday too.