It seems like a lot right now, but you will get through it. I sent this instagram link to my boys because it's so true. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CkPRBmHrFF8/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= I wish you all the best. Everyone telling you to seek help is right, counseling can help so much with perspective and give you necessary tools to help you all through your whole life. This is bigger in your mind because your are going through it right now. It's embarrassing and that is hard but you can chalk it up to being young. EVERYONE makes mistakes, and you have a long life ahead to make more. Get those tools to help you cope and learn to not take yourself too seriously. You will benefit from it, it's more of a blessing than you know.