I understand that you feel you fucked up, but you are being abused. The situation you are in is abusive. The atmosphere is abusive, the people are abusive. It may be better than it was before, but like all kids, we only know what we grew up with until we get a little older and see how other people live. Soon you’ll start to discover that your situation was exceptionally bad. The more successful people you meet in your life, the more clear it will become to you that you were being abused. I grew up in a terrible situation myself, but managed to make friends with decent people, and I kind of learned not to talk about my home life because it bummed everybody out.

I hope you can afford to live on your own soon.