Submitted by performance_issue t3_xwgq84 in tifu
Read the edits at the bottom of the post before commenting.
This wasn't today but more like yesterday, well kinda both yesterday and today I guess.
So I (19m gay) have been friends with this guy (also 19 but very straight) for about 4 years I think, and he's what I'd call my best friend or atleast a close friend.
I've liked him for a few years aswell and I told him because I felt guilty about it and he was totally completely okay with it. And he treated me no different for it.
About a year ago he had met a girl that he really liked and had talked about her a lot. he asked her out about a week later and he's just obviously absolutely crazy about her. And when he told me he had asked her out it hurt a lot more than I had expected and I finally realized that I don't just like him but I am actually in love with him and I felt like shit about it for like almost a month and kinda stopped talking to him for the most part. After a few weeks he reached out to me and we talked about it for a long while and he helped me feel better and I slowly felt less guilty about it and went back to normal after a few days.
Anyways fast forward to yesterday I had taken a booty pic, It was the sitting on the bathroom counter side cheek type angle. And I had asked if he was alright with me sending it to him for an opinion on the picture. I've sent him somewhat similar pictures before for the same thing, like pictures of outfits and clothing asking what looked better and so on and so forth, it wasn't unusual. And since it was my first ever booty pic I've seriously taken in my life I wanted to ask him for his opinion about it.
He said it was fine and that I could go for it and send it. And so I did send it, and he reacted fine. We talked about it and he told me what he thought was good about it and we joked about it a bit and then we went onto another subject and just talked for a bit longer for the night and then said goodnight to each other like we usually do when talking with eachother late at night.
The next morning I had sent him a meme or two and another picture but of my hair because I never really showed him how long my hair really is and he laughed about it and we chatted a bit. But sometime later in the day I had realized that he had blocked me on everything. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little bit of panic.
My best guess is his girlfriend ended up seeing the booty pic and freaked out about it or something, and made him block me or else they're done or whatever. She's known about me and she's known that I love him for about as long as he's known and they've been together but I guess this broke some kind of line.
I've felt like crying ever since I've noticed and checked my Instagram account and discord. She even made him ban me from the discord server he made for his friend group. I feel sick to my stomach. I know how crazy he is about his girlfriend and I understand why he would've listened to her. I don't blame him but that doesn't change that it hurts a lot.
I know that he'd never be able to love me back because he's straight, and well the fact we live a pretty decent distance from each other (atleast a 6 hour drive.) further guarantees that it's not a possibility and I was okay with that. I was okay with just being able to talk with him, because I didn't only love him but because he's also just a genuinely amazing friend.
I just feel like shit. And I hate myself so much. I have so much regret and I wish I had a time machine or just the ability to go back and stop myself from ever doing it.
Tl;DR sent straight close friend my first ever attempt at a booty pic asking for his opinion like I have with many other pictures, I guess girlfriend freaked out about it and made him block me on everything and I'm scared I'll never get to talk with him again.
Edit: i wasn't nude in the picture. He's straight he wouldn't wanna see that obviously.
Edit number 2: I didn't send the picture to try and come onto him or seduce him or whatever, I took the pic because I'm seeking another guy.
Edit number 3: HES AN ONLINE FRIEND. Idk why this isn't clicking for some of you. If he was an irl friend then obviously I would go see him in person but that isn't the case.