I'm sorry you're dealing with this situation, and how you got here is perfectly natural. I absolutely understand conflict avoidance. That said, I think you need to have a serious talk with your parents about how they treat you. You aren't a teenager, or some early 20s airhead who thinks they know everything. You are an adult, in every sense of the word, and if they can't respect you or trust you enough to live your life as you like, then they need to keep that to themselves, and not take it out on you, because at this point, that is a THEM problem, not a you problem. They are the ones who need to grow up and treat you with a modicum of respect just like they would any other adult. I hate conflict as much as anyone, but it doesn't sound like your parents, especially your mother, are going to budge on being this childish, so it's up to you to confront them.

You deserve respect, and even if they disagree with your decisions, that's OK. But they have no right to take their issues out on you. You deserve better.