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pogiguy2020 t1_iudwnar wrote

The person who started the rumor is not a friend. You have two choices really. how much do you like this young lady?

Step ONE would be to go to this so called friend and tell them they have only one choice and that is to go to her and admit they started the rumor and take full responsibility. IF they do not then you need to make them. Sorry I would say more, but I just got off a 3 day ban for supposedly saying something violent. LOL

Step TWO is to realize sometimes life sucks and you move on. If she truly does not believe you or can forgive you than she is not worth the time or trouble to even, try. Could you imagine being in a relationship with her? She may be some kind of crazy jealous type or worse.

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PossiblyMaybeNever t1_iue8hqu wrote

Your response was great until you got to the very end. Disappointing for you to dump on her when it was potentially her reputation that was being trashed. Some women don’t care about their sex lives being broadcast to others (legit or not), and other women do care, especially since there are still double standards about women and sex.

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Impossible_Tale_2173 t1_iudxgaq wrote

I think move on is the best thing to do, but it’s painful and I think will be very awkward between us for a while

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PossiblyMaybeNever t1_iue9sxp wrote

I think the “friend” who created the rumor is not really a friend; it would be very reasonable for this purported friend to confess to the young woman what really happened. If you decide to keep this friend around if he is unwilling to apologize, you’re essentially saying that you find his behavior acceptable, so don’t be surprised at a repeat offense.

As for the young woman, I’d give her plenty of distance for now. Maybe at a later date, you could offer a goodwill gesture, like a card with a sincere note (as you’ve learned, words matter).

Edit: If you were to give her a card, it would be an opportunity to put the truth into writing, explaining how the rumor got started and possibly why. No need to write a novel. Just keep it simple and sweet, like “I told my stupid friend I thought you were cute” or “I told my former friend that I thought you were cute” (if the dimwit is truly gone, as that would speak to your character). No references to potential relationship, love or sex is a necessity, because you’ll scare her off or creep her out. Also, don’t bother to tell her how nice you are; this is best demonstrated via behavior. I think focusing on slowly building a friendship first is likely the only way you’ll regain any trust.

Btw if you decide to do any kind gesture for the young woman but she sees you still hanging out with the twit, it’s pointless (unless he has explained and apologized profusely to the young woman and she has accepted).

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