TIFU By getting accepted to college and trusting my parents

Submitted by BeingPoor223 t3_yh2n74 in tifu

I know how this sounds but let me start from the beginning.

I got accepted to a prestigious college in my state. The only reason I was actually able to get accepted to go to college was because of the TRIO program. I am a first generation student who will graduate high school. Before you ask, I am not a first generation family member in America. Im a fourth generation family member in America. None of my grandparents, parents, or great-grandparents have graduated high-school let alone college.

My parents were never really into school and never encouraged me to get good goods. I know how ungrateful that sounds, some kids complain about parents getting on them about their grades. But I needed that support and motivation and never got it.

I had to stay home all the time to help take care of my mentally disabled brother and sick grandma. My mom has frequent bipolar episodes in which she will blame every bad thing on me. her and my father have never attended college or graduated high school. (They would later get their GEDS) But they are not in school nor do they have jobs. Not only this but our family of five have been living on social security and food stamps for four years. (So I got bad grades)

This junior year I was almost kicked out of my TRIO program. This awoke something in me and I was able to convince them I needed to stay. I would later get the much needed support, stability, and motivation at the summer camp. During that summer I was able to make up 12 core credit class and raise my gpa from a 2.39 to a 2.94 unweighted. (I would also be taken on college visits that summer around my state and I fell in love with a few of them, But I was able to raise my gpa in one summer to an average gpa)

I began writing my essay and started my resume. My dream college was out of my league. The minimum gpa requirement was 3.67. Mine was a 3.1 on a WEIGHTED scale. (Theres a difference between weighted and unweighted, weighted is the difficulty of classes being taken) So I decided to apply early decision.

I should've received the decision by December 15th, but I was notified that my essay made up for it and I was accepted early. The thing is with early decision is I am now obligated to go to this college, binded by an agreement I signed. THIS IS WHERE I FUCKED UP.

I immediately inform my parents excitedly. I mean the tuition was huge, 67k a year. (This is the college I spent the summer at and where I felt for the first time in my life at home) They informed me they won't help me with my FASFA. (Free application for student loans) For those who don't know if you're a first year college student you HAVE to have your parents tax information. So the government can know your parents contribution. You see I didn't need them to pay for anything. I just needed to show the government how poor we are so I can get the full benefits.

I don't know what I am gonna do. I have started trying to apply to scholarships so Im not 300k in debt by the time I graduate college. But almost every single one doesn't apply to me OR requires a unweighted 3.0 minimum.

I really fucked up by doing early decision. I really fucked up by trusting my parents to help with my FASFA when they have never helped me at all in my schooling or never encouraged me. Am I gonna spend my entire life in debt?

(If youd like me to post my college essay I will)

TLDR: Got accepted to a prestigious expensive college, I cant pay for it, parents won't help with FASFA, im fucked

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Comments

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AZymph t1_iud1p0o wrote

Talk to the councillors, I'm sure they have people literally all the time with parental refusal, there may be something they can do to help. Congrats on getting in to your college of choice! Keep searching for scholarships, there are tons out there so one is bound to be a match.

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Carluun t1_iuezil6 wrote

My brother had to deal with parental refusal before my dad died, and there was literally nothing the school could do for him. If they're alive and just not cooperating then you might be fucked, still I'd talk to them about it

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moppit11169 t1_iud6efk wrote

Would there’s circumstances declare you as an exception and allow you to be declared an “independent student”? The fafsa form is filled out differently then, regardless of age and what year college student you are. Counselors would be able to help with this. Counselors are your best friends in these scenarios. Don’t give up hope. There are special circumstance exceptions for these reasons

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Relentless-Dragonfly t1_iuegjhk wrote

I qualified as an independent ONLY because my grandma pursued legal guardianship through the court and I was living with her. The school I went to needed proof of this.

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IshJecka t1_iuenfbq wrote

It is incredibly difficult to qualify for those kind of things. It's not about how much your parents are contributing but how much it seems like they should. It's ridiculous and a good way to keep poor people poor and uneducated.

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[deleted] t1_iud5djz wrote

[removed]

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BeingPoor223 OP t1_iue42ym wrote

I am gonna talk to the admissions counselor and ask about financial aid without the fasfa. I really want to go there and they made an exception for me. But I can’t spend my entire life in debt so I might just have to explain the situation

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liquidbluenight t1_iug2tpt wrote

It’s been a while since I applied for financial aid, but I think any financial aid (except maybe a private loan, which you should NOT use) requires a FAFSA.

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Random_Nugget1 t1_iue45yb wrote

THIS^^^ often times public is soooooo much better long term, everything this comment said is true and if I had an award I would give it to you kind internet stranger.

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SavvyMac93 t1_iuddd6m wrote

First of all, talk to your financial aid office. There is a way to file independent, but there are criteria for that. I think there is a way to link your parents tax info electronically. Secondly, pursue all grant and scholarship options. You’ll need it. 67,000 a year is more than the graduate degree I am currently pursuing. Lastly,depending on the the job you have in mind when you graduate I would easily say 300k is too much for an undergraduate degree. I have friends who went to very expensive schools and lived with crippling debt after the fact. I’m assuming there are kids out there with ties to people that can get them a job that would be worth that. I wasn’t one of those. In my opinion there is almost no point in going to an overly expensive school for certain career pursuits (nursing for example). I see these schools as traps for young people, who don’t. Feel free to ask more questions if you like. The end game is to have a solid degree and minimal debt.

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444unsure t1_iudxf5s wrote

What type of undergrad School charges 67k tuition? That is a mind-blowing number to me

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MissyBee63 t1_iue3zsr wrote

It may be a private school and the 67k likely includes housing and food plan.

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SavvyMac93 t1_iudzdz9 wrote

It is mind blowing. It’s all about prestige. No thanks. unless you has strong ties with potential employers paying tons of money, or are going to the school tuition free it is not worth it.

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444unsure t1_iue04mi wrote

Okay so I just googled and according to the internet, Columbia has the highest tuition in the United States at 65,000 per year and change. Harvey Mudd college has the highest overall cost of $77,000? I'm assuming that adds in room and board or something? Books?

Either way, I don't think op is talking about the cost of tuition alone...

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SavvyMac93 t1_iue23zo wrote

Glad you dug up some numbers. It probably includes the dorm and fees associated with living on campus. Either way… my graduate (masters) degree costs about 45,000 a year and I live off of loans at approximately 12,000 a year. Still less than the undergraduate degree. Better question what is the expected income of students graduating from there? Are there enough financial aid options to make it worth it?

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videogamekat t1_iufqn1w wrote

I feel like NYU's costs are pretty up there (along with other NYC schools), I remember my friend got into the Tisch art school like 10 years ago and even then it was like $80k/yr (i think including room and board etc.)

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Mlkbird14 t1_iud2c5n wrote

You can always talk to the school about backing out due to financial hardship. This happens often. They can also council you through it. Even though they say they are binding, rarely are they actually.

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superthrust123 t1_iud4did wrote

Just make sure you talk to people and get good info. 300k is a lot of money, and if you have to take loans, make sure the outcome justifies the cost.

I'd talk to counselors, like someone earlier said, there have to be others with uncooperative parents.

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685327593 t1_iudmbbc wrote

Did I miss something, why won't they fill out the FAFSA? It's literally free money and costs them nothing but a few minutes off their time. This is beyond insane.

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BeingPoor223 OP t1_iudzagw wrote

They don’t really want me to go to college

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PolymorphiK t1_iue0hxh wrote

Go to the admissions office tell them they don’t want you to go to college and cry. Cry your heart out and fight for your future.

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bananafor t1_iufuh8a wrote

Mention how they want you to care for family members unpaid.

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685327593 t1_iue0u6y wrote

I've seen a lot of bad parents in my life, but this really takes the cake.

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rengothrowaway t1_iufkngt wrote

This is exactly how my parents fucked me over around 24 years ago. The difference is I had always dreamed of higher education, and had been talking about college since elementary school. They knew I wanted to go, and did not care. I never even asked for money or help with a loan, only their information. They refused. When I asked why, they would either give me the silent treatment or tell me that we weren’t poor, and they wouldn’t let me accept a handout. Like I could pay for college with the few grand I had saved from working.

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m still really bitter. Getting well paying jobs has been a struggle, and I always got passed over on promotions for a college educated person. I often wonder how my life could have been if I’d only had that opportunity.

I hope things work out for you and you’re able to get the education you want.

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Alliski t1_iue2ziu wrote

Talk to the financial aid counselor. Students go through this all the time. One girl where I work now went through it last year. They were able to get the information she needed. On a side note, most people keep a file of their tax records somewhere, and usually just filed away in a box or on a random file on the computer. You really only need tax information and ssn's ( which are usually on the tax forms.) They have no right to do this to you.

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GreenleafMentor t1_iuis8ud wrote

First check with finanical aid to see what they can do to help. If you cant get the cost down SIGNIFICANTLY, you need to go elsewhere.

Also i am a little weirded out by a "prestigous" school that accepts a GPA as low as yours. It's not terrible but its nowhere near prestigious.

Go to a community college for 2 years, get yourself situated. There is 0 reason at all to go to a school costing 67k a year when your academic performance is not absolutely top notch.

Whatever "feeling" you have about this school, you need to get over. Because you will have a whole different feeling when the debt starts suffocating you.

I went to 2 different community colleges, state school and a state grad school. Happy to answer any questions you have. Didnt have any family with college experience.

Do not go to a school that is 67k a year.

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Harry_Gorilla t1_iudjq8x wrote

Nobody can force you to go to college.
Even if they tried to enforce this agreement they’d have to prove they suffered some kind of damages. Contracts with a minor aren’t even legally binding, so if you’re not 18 yet there is no contract.
(I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice).

Look into emancipation. I don’t know anything about it beyond that it’s a thing. Maybe if your finances are separated from your parents you won’t need their info on the fafsa?

Best advice has already been given tho: talk to the financial aid office

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SpiderSolve t1_iudm84t wrote

First off, congratulations. I mean it. That’s an impressive thing you’ve accomplished and you should enjoy the satisfaction of knowing you can do whatever you set your mind to. I’m confident you’ll be able to get the financials squared away- however I’m not sure if that’s a good thing for you. If I were you I would be slightly cautious about a school that is accepting you with such “low” GPA. For two reasons:

  1. A (part) of a universities “prestige” is based on the average grades their students achieve, if their minimum GPA is much lower than what they advertise, be certain that their other claims (of placement etc) are as they appear.

  2. On the flip side, if they’re making an exception for you, you should be equally weary. while I’m sure you’re an incredibly bright guy/gal, you may have missed out on a lot of the subject matter taught in some of those more advanced courses. You seem to be a hard working intelligent person rather put yourself an environment where you can excel crush it like you have been the past few years and become a doctor or lawyer or best selling author or engineer or acrobat (or whatever else your heart desires) rather than one where you may always feel behind.

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These-Ticket-5436 t1_iuf44rc wrote

Please check what it would take to go independent. Please talk to both your HS and your college. They may be able to help you, or at least perhaps they could let you out of your contract, or perhaps maybe defer entry for a year, and then you could work for a year, get independent and then enter. Good luck!

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Maxwellrz t1_iuf4jhx wrote

You don’t have to go if you can’t afford it

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First-Use-2256 t1_iudtj09 wrote

Ignore your parents and focus on yourself They will only bring you down

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r0gue007 t1_iuea7u9 wrote

67k is too expensive for undergrad, imo even for Ivy League.

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cant-talk-about-this t1_iuh2o6a wrote

70k per year? FAFSA wouldn't cover anywhere near that - many people who attend those schools get full rides via scholarships. My in-state tuition was 6.5k per semester, which FAFSA barely covers. Surely you have a better option. Many state universities are still in the top 100.

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RJoce t1_iue8zkw wrote

How about you just move to a country with free education. Its not worth it to be 500k in debt for studies

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