TIFU by having a mint with my lunch and going to the other side of campus

Submitted by tocbsc t3_ydju19 in tifu

This happened when l (18M) was waiting for my brother (18M) to get out of class. We both go to college, but my class ends earlier. My class ended earlier than expected so I decided to go to Chick-fil-A for lunch. I was already feeling like I needed to go before that, though.

I also carry a pack of mints with me because I like to go through them. I go through them practically like candy.

I order my Chick-fil-A, got it quick as the building was relatively empty. Keep in mind I am a big guy, so I like me some chicken nuggets. My drink for this meal was a large Pepsi, about the same size as those gas station cups you use for the ICEE machine. My food was good, and I downed the Pepsi rather quickly. I had a mint to cover up my breath from the food as my parents were on the way. I know the way around campus well enough to find my way to each building, so I knew which building my parents would arrive at.

Suddenly, I feel my stomach rumbling.

Oh, boy. I guess the mint caused a reaction with the soda while it was coming down, because I needed to go. I quickly got up, deciding I needed to go somewhere secluded to take a shit. I left Chick-fil-A in a hurry after seeing some of my friends who were leaving campus. I saw that the library was close, and despite some of the bathrooms barely being used, I assumed this would barely be touched too.

I entered the library, immediately bolting towards the elevator. I hit the button for the fourth floor as fast as I could, knowing that it was a quiet study room. Someone with me was going to the third floor, but for some reason when the elevator got to the third floor, it didn’t close that fast. The ride was fast getting up, but damn, I needed to go and it wasn’t holding in any longer. The door opened, and I was within safety’s reach

I made my way to the handicap stall so people couldn’t see my agony. I stand over the toilet, my pants down, but it was too late. My shit was fighting to get out of my tightly clenched cheeks, and my shorts got caught between my legs. Luckily, my ass was over the toilet, so I was able to get it on as soon as shit started coming out.

Unfortunately, that explosive shit didn’t all land in the toilet after I realize that it somehow missed my pants. I turn around and notice that shit hit the porcelain behind the seat and partly on the wall. I grabbed toilet paper and those brown paper towels and did my best to cleanup the shit.

Here I am, sitting on the toilet in my house, remembering there is a bathroom in the Chick-fil-A. I could have avoided all of this if I remembered about the bathroom.

TLDR: I took a mint after drinking Pepsi and eating lunch that my bowels were trying to shit it all out like those explosions. I speed walked all the way to the library, hoping I could make it to the bathroom. I couldn’t hold it in until I sat down, so things got explosive on the back of the toilet and wall.

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Comments

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RetroReactiveRuckus t1_itt7d1d wrote

If something forces you to use the toilet this violently you need to get things checked out. Ideally do an elimination diet first. This is not normal.

Artificial sweeteners in mints can set off bowels. But mostly the issue is not eating enough fiber and water regularly

Best of luck. But yeah... Figure out your problem

37

Lost_Pomegranate1680 t1_ittxucz wrote

Wouldn't cause a reaction like that, much more likely to be food poisoning from the CFA. Or just all the oils, or any number of other things.

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It's like saying if you eat pop rocks and soda too close together your stomach will explode. Nothing bad actually happens, and it definitely won't rocket through your whole GI system and shoot out the other end. Much more likely you effectively dosed yourself with a laxative (the sweeteners in mints are almost all laxatives)

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No_Love_1353 t1_ituihk2 wrote

The actual mistake was having a Pepsi.

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Slash_Raptor92 t1_itusc7c wrote

We don't have any Chick-Fil-As in Edmonton. Never tried them, is it better than KFC? We have plenty of those.

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Horror_Cupcake5671 t1_itv0f21 wrote

Replying to Slash_Raptor92 (#237,420)

Better is relative but they’re completely different places. Chick-Fil-A has sandwich’s, nuggets, strips, sides, but no bone-in chicken. CFA has a pretty solid reputation as far as good goes, KFC…not so much.

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hills_for_breakfast t1_itw8utu wrote

There’s definitely a phenomenon where the closer you get to a toilet the more difficult it is to hold it in.

Toilet-distance-inverse-proportion law.

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TheW83 t1_itx0kfb wrote

Replying to tocbsc (#246,066)

Dude the main ingredients are sorbitol and malitol. You're giving yourself severe diarrhea. I suggest limiting consumption to a few per day. A few icebreakers, not a few packs.

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shadecrawler t1_itzc0yc wrote

In Germany we hav warnings on TicTacs and similar things to not consume to much because it might decrease the time to your next poo

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Xannann t1_iu0dmea wrote

Bro if you gotta shit don't leave a place with a bathroom and chance it somewhere else. Makes no sense. Oh no your friends know you shit now. How will you ever get over that?

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BdotEscro t1_iu0w3r2 wrote

TRULYTRUE TRUE, I agree with you completely absolutely and I agree with your perspective

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Tyrus1235 t1_iugm6br wrote

Had something similar happen to me at school once.

Class had just started and I felt an intense pain from my belly. I ran up to the teacher (he was still setting stuff up for the class) and asked to go to the bathroom. He let me go and I went almost sprinting to the nearest toilet.

As soon as I entered one of the stalls and pulled my pants down, it started. Imagine, if you will, a hose spraying water on the wall.

I even overheard a couple of boys that entered the bathroom and immediately left after saying “ewww the bathroom is so stinky today!”

Finished my business and spent a good amount of time cleaning everything up with the TP available.

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