I broke up with my ex boyfriend by saying that I'm a lesbian. Now everyone thinks I'm a lesbian. I don't know if I am. At least I don't think I am. He's the first dude I was in a relationship with.

My family doesn't know anything about the dating or the lesbian part. They're very conservative. I want to try dating both men and women, but now I fucked up. And if I 'out' myself if I'm straight, I'm going to ruin my relationship with my family for no reason.

Men think I'm lesbian, so I've pitted myself, I don't think I feel butterflies for women. I'm in that period where I'm confused, but I know for a fact that everyone 'knows' I'm lesbian.

What do I do? Its already gone too far.

Edit: Thank you for telling me I fucked up. I know. And I didn't hurt anyone's feelings because we broke up a WEEK after dating. I didn't think it would go this far and it was my first relationship, I panicked BAD. I'M SORRY.

TL;DR - I told my ex boyfriend that I'm lesbian, but I don't think I am and now everyone except my family (who are very conservative) think I'm lesbian.

Comments

twotall88 t1_it6zxoe wrote on October 21, 2022 at 12:00 PM

#164,004

Life Pro Tip - don't lie to break up with someone, tell them it's not working out and you no longer want to see them.

If this becomes an issue of someone thinking you're lesbian then just say you made a naïve mistake as an easy out to breaking up with the guy.

[deleted] OP t1_it708i7 wrote on October 21, 2022 at 12:03 PM

#164,020

Replying to twotall88 (#164,004)

It's too late now, everyone thinks I'm a lesbian. Idk how to tell them I'm not. I'm pretty sure they're going to condemn me for this too, although that's not the worst part.

Krispyketchup42 t1_it70iys wrote on October 21, 2022 at 12:06 PM

#164,044

I told my ex I was gay but was actually trying to leave her for another girl, then this bitch starts saying "yeah I think you're gay too" like WTF bitch, I grew up with a single mom but I am not gay HAHA that backfired hard

BNematoad t1_it70n55 wrote on October 21, 2022 at 12:07 PM

#164,046

This is 100% on you dude. You should have had the respect for your partner to be clear and concise about the breakup from the beginning.

Nobody to blame but yourself here

SorryAd1116 t1_it72tqd wrote on October 21, 2022 at 12:27 PM

#164,222

So what I'm gathering from this is you're 14? Because that's the maturity level I'm getting from reading this "story"

Voracious_lurker t1_it76de5 wrote on October 21, 2022 at 12:57 PM

#164,501

I dumped my first boyfriend telling him I was a lesbian. And I did actually like girls, so I then proceeded to date one for about 8 months until I found out she cheated on me. About a year later I found out I was falling for a male friend and apparently it was mutual, we've been together ever since (13 years).

I identified as a lesbian for a while, then bi, now pan. Sexuality is a spectrum and who you are attracted to may or may not change during your whole life. That said it's ok to put a label on yourself if that makes you comfortable, now tho that you can change how you view and label yourself a you please. Life is a journey of discovery.

OGVictoriaSponge t1_it7jo1g wrote on October 21, 2022 at 2:36 PM

#165,763

Replying to SorryAd1116 (#164,222)

OP does sound young but I don’t think that’s a reason to be nasty or weird about it?? Young people want advice too

OGVictoriaSponge t1_it7jtoj wrote on October 21, 2022 at 2:37 PM

#165,777

I would just be honest and say something along the lines of, I said that because I was feeling that at the time but honestly I’m a little confused and would like to work this out alone rather than in a relationship. Completely reasonable. Good luck

[deleted] OP t1_it7ly5x wrote on October 21, 2022 at 2:52 PM

#165,949

Replying to OGVictoriaSponge (#165,777)

OMG, thank you so much!!! Ahhhhh, I was stressing this over cause it's causing my life to derail. I was hoping for this kinda advice. Again, thank you.

Lined_the_Street t1_it7p5ve wrote on October 21, 2022 at 3:14 PM

#166,247

Wait so you jumped straight to saying you only like girls when you're so very clearly bi?

I used to have a friend like you, she lied alot too. Unlike her you recognize you need to reflect on grow. Judging from your post you have a lot of living and a lot of learning left to do. Be sure to keep you mind open, be the best person you can be, and don't be ashamed of who you are.

But lying and causing yourself anxiety will only reward you with complication.

[deleted] OP t1_it7q6dw wrote on October 21, 2022 at 3:20 PM

#166,347

Replying to Lined_the_Street (#166,247)

Thank you, I'll try to be more open minded. I really don't want to break up with my family, but your right, I can't lie to myself, it's stupid. I'll try looking at things like my sexuality with a better attitude. Idk what it is for now but I'll accept when I do learn what it is.

SethMalcolm1 t1_it9no0u wrote on October 21, 2022 at 11:20 PM

#172,221

Lmao honestly if u break up with someone like that, you 100% deserve all of the ramifications.

laplongejr t1_itgsz8j wrote on October 23, 2022 at 3:24 PM

#189,783

The simple fact your ex decided to out you on what they thought your sexuality makes it an asshole.
My wife discovered she is heavily on the lesbian part of the spectrum, and that doesn't allow me to out her in her place.