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blackoutintended t1_it6i6v4 wrote

I'm in a kinda same situation. someone I like told me that he liked me and I said I don't wanna be in a relationship rn and I'm afraid I'll lose him and the friendship we have rn if we took some steps forward and he was so understanding and said that he respected my choice but ever since that day I can't stop thinking about him or wanting to get closer to him. He's on my mind 24/7. I really don't know what to do

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daggly66 t1_it6u4d1 wrote

You will have lots of "friends" in your life, hardly any "I can't stop thinking about him". You will likely regret not exploring this later in life. My 2c.

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GhostNinja1373 t1_it7utpd wrote

To bad many people never understand this or are scared to get into that relationship due to their past or what ever.

I know it has happened to me and it leads to regrets which is always the worse feeling and staying a "what if" and what if that would have turned into a fun relationship and not just stay a friendship?

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spider-bro t1_it8x2sw wrote

I think one of the hardest things about communicating with young people is they don't understand just how much having regrets hurts.

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Arch315 t1_it9v22i wrote

I understand it but my brain still cba to care or do better for the future 😭

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blackoutintended t1_itasdvl wrote

Or maybe sometimes we're too scared of having regrets?

Like now I'm stopping myself from being with him because I'm afraid I'll regret it later

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SylvanGenesis t1_itwyml4 wrote

You'll regret not doing something much more than you'll regret doing something, in general.

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Dicer214 t1_it6kvrm wrote

Have you tried talking to him? “Hey you know how I said I didn’t want to see where things went with us? Yeah I changed my mind, get your dick out.”

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Senevir t1_it70vj6 wrote

I was in a similar situation. Someone confessed to me, and even though I liked him too, my last relationship had been really bad. I wasn't sure how to be in one again, and told him that I wasn't ready. I was scared that this decision, my rejection of hin, would ultimately change our friendship dynamic, or he'd withdraw from me, but he didn't. He didn't change at all. Didn't treat me differently. Didn't push. A few months later, I initiated conversation with him, and we're together now.

It's scary. I was terrified of losing this person who made me laugh every day. It had a happened before. I think that if he is worth it, he will think that you are worth it, too. If it was meant to be, he will wait, and treat you kindly. First and foremost, you need to be ready and at peace with yourself.

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GhostNinja1373 t1_it7uh2g wrote

To me when that happens it means you missed the signals and that you are in denial of liking the other person after all.

Somethings we auto do this or as they call it "self sabatoge"(typo?)

I say reach out to him to see how hes doing and if hes still single and to ask him on a date since its in your court now.

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spider-bro t1_it8wxpv wrote

Yes you do. You're just afraid to do it because you're young and you think a life without mistakes is better than a life with mistakes.

You're wrong though. Mistakes are how we improve. Your platonic friendship, that innocent period before your mutual attraction became conscious, is over.

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Airam-kun t1_it81bmh wrote

That's somekind simillar to how I started dating my best friend, at first I confessed to her and she didn't reciprocated but we were in good terms and still hanged out frequently (by frequently I mean a lot).

But suddenly (for me), after a couple months, she told me she really liked me out of the blue, I was greatly surprised and happy because I felt the same and now she's my grilfriend! I'm a lucky man.

Perhaps your friend still has feelings for you, I think you should give it a try and confess your feelings, I think he might feel the same; but if not, I'm sure he will understand. Gather your courage! I'm sure both of you will continue having an awesome relationship regardless of the outcome! My sweetheart also feared losing me but I reassured her that that wouldn't happen, good luck to both of you!

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