Submitted by blackcatonacid t3_y99rng in tifu
blackcatonacid OP t1_it5cbzr wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in TIFU by eating shrooms and violently forcing my girlfriend to throw up by blackcatonacid
I didn't reach ego death with that does even though I hoped too, it was definitely still beneficial and educational experience. Helped reach important conclusions and make changes I needed in life.
The weird thing is that this trip was so much more extreme, with just poor 3 grams...
thatsoundthough t1_it5cxoq wrote
Mushroom strength can vary notably, depending on the strain and the growing situation. I've had ego death around 3 grams, but it lasted much longer at 4.5 g + MAOI (for the latter, I did vomit while passing in/out) for an hour. If your experience was legit just with natural mushrooms then I'd expect this batch was especially strong and whatever you took 6-7 g of was especially weak. Maybe?
chonk_fox89 t1_it8brrk wrote
Not really familiar with shrooms, what's ego death?
SandyBeaverTeeth t1_it8mkcx wrote
You lose your sense of self. The boundaries between "you" and "the world" fall away and you feel deep connection with everything around you. It's a main feature of psychedelics, and at any dose it is where the "one with the universe" feeling people describe comes from. "Ego death" happens at high enough doses where you *truly* lose the concept of "me" and cannot access your rational mind that knows you are an individual human and all that. You experience "oneness" in a very real and authentic way, and that can be extremely difficult and disturbing for some people depending on how it manifests for them in their trip. It can also be a profoundly beautiful experience that alters you for the better.
This is why setting up your trip is so important for success if you intend to take a larger dose, and your mental state/unresolved issues/whatever can surface in very extreme ways during this if you have not been caring for them or considering them when entering the trip. The OP's description of a trip that kept coming back to themes of suicide, and ultimately ended with a fixation on suicide while losing most knowledge of himself is exactly what I would expect here. It is a really good example of how someone who is dealing with depression should be extremely cautious about self-medicating with psychedelics. I don't know that OP or their GF is depressed, but it sure sounds like one or both of them might be. There's so much out there about LSD/shrooms/MDMA curing depression, but people don't realize those studies that have shown promising results are all done in a highly controlled manner guided by mental health professionals. Taking random shrooms with your buddies or partner or whatever is not the same thing.
Sorry, that turned into a rant...
chonk_fox89 t1_ita0oyr wrote
No I appreciate it! I've been considering trying some shrooms to help depression and chronic pain so I'm gathering info and really appreciate learning fist hand from others!
throwaway_nowgoaway t1_it5pcw0 wrote
Wow, maoi experience sounds kind of scary
thatsoundthough t1_it5vcu6 wrote
It was no good, but also amazing. The Chemical Brothers' Dig Your Own Hole is forever burned into my memory...one of the few things I remember before everything went atomic. Was giggly when the album started, auditory hallucinations kicked in with "It Doesn't Matter," and I don't remember the album ending because I was slumped over the toilet, retching and passing out. The MAOI was definitely not needed.
Ragnarotico t1_it5hhgd wrote
>I find myself with 0 memory about who I got here , who is my girlfriend, where am I, why am I drugged, how the fuck I speak Spanish.. complete blackout.
This kind of sounds like ego death. Did you even know your own name at that point?
blackcatonacid OP t1_it5lamq wrote
I knew who I am , that what made it even more confusing.. I couldn't remember the last year of my life or so... My last memory was at my home country at my old apartment.. I freaked out trying to understand how I got here All I could think is how the hell did I fucked up so bad to get into this situation
noahB53 t1_it6alg4 wrote
Naw that’s not ego death. When it happens you will know without a doubt
noahB53 t1_it6ai6s wrote
I think you may have been laced or there was one bad shroom in the batch
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