It happens. We've all done it. Given time this will become a funny story in the pub.

Dont think this is your fault.

Didn't you say you textet her on a company app? If so, I think the tifu is the not saying no to go to work when sick. It reads a little bit like your manager is mad at you because there is no redundant planning...

1. It's your responsibility to make sure your supervisor knows about the situation and has someone who can work in your place. If they didn't give you an okay then you're going to work, period.
2. Control your mother, she has no business calling your employer.

It sure as hell isn't the employee's responsibility to find a replacement if they are sick. That's managements problem. And if employers have the power to "not ok" a sick day, (especially if there has been no interaction with a doctor) you need to get yourself a union for better working rights. Cause those industrilization-work ethics are severly outdated.

You didn't have the managers number yet the sick policy was a text/call to her personal number? Sounds to me like manager oversight and you really shouldn't be blaming yourself for this. You used the only form of contact you had available to you and went about your business.

Let me guess, you believe in trickle down economics?

This is 100% on the manager and not OPs fault (with the exception of caving and going in to work). If this company has an employee app, it probably has an HR or Regional Manager as well. If I was OP I'd escalate. They should be able to time stamp OPs message of being sick and whether her manager accessed the app. The whole point of the app is to get everyone on the same page and so that there's no he said/she said about call ins. I'd bet the actual corporate policy is to go through the app, regardless of what the manager sent in an email

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The peeps would love you over at r/antiwork

Honestly, the only part of this that's a fu, is going in to work after letting them know you wouldn't be there.

This may sound harsh but it's important to remember:

If you're not specifically employed to onboard new hires, it isn't your responsibility to worry about them or their needs.

If you're not a manager, outside of work the businesses coverage is none of your concern.

She should have made that more clear. Your assumption was reasonable. I'm sorry people were so rude.

Its definatly not your fault. Coukd happen to anyone.

I think that after explaining to your manager that you had in fact exhausted your resources to let your workplace know that you would not be coming in and they still don't get it, you need to find a new employer. Explain that part to mom too. You tried. You really really did.

A workplace does not own you. You receive compensation for work done. You are not their slave.

I would call corporate and explain that it is unethical to expect a minor who had to leave school due to illness be required to report to work even after using the app for communication. Manager needs to have their own come to Jesus moment with the HR dept and grow some damn compassion.

I agree with step 2 but step 1 it is the managers responsibility to find coverage

It sounds like there was no confusion. The manager saw the email saying they couldn't make it and then responded by emailing them the sick notice form? Or am i misreading that? If the case if they responded with "call in correctly or not at all" then they didn't miss anything they are just ass holes.

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It is but she needs to make sure the manager got the message and has someone to cover her shift. She can't just send a message and ditch everything without getting an okay first.

Literally not what I'm saying lmao, y'all need to fucking learn to read.

You called in sick, not your problem they understaff.

When some policy changes on a company, your manager should send an email with the information and make you sign it in order to know that you read it, understand it and agree with what has changed.

If you didn't sign that information, it's 100% your manager's fault.

Edit: that being said, you did FU by involving your mother. You should be able to solve your problems.

I understood those are different things. They had some guidelines received in their emails and, without applying that, he used an app to contact her manager.

I may be wrong, please don't judge op based on this.

I agree , she has no other way to contact this lady - this lady should make herself more accessible

She seems like an ass I’d quit.

Also don’t let your parents talk to your job unless there gonna fight for you , she gave your manager more power.

Also a lot of people will fight that most mensuraal issues are a disability and shall be treated with ada compassion

we don't know what the app is, she said it was to clock in and out. I have no idea how long it has been in use, if its widespread already, and for all purposes its not ideal to ignore the guidelines without reading them.

Now, I'm making assumptions as well. Maybe she didn't receive such e-mail, she is not sure. Maybe the app has been in use for a while and they discussed things there before, which would play in her favour.

I'm just playing devil's advocate here in the sense that we can't 100% put blame here or there. If she escalates and something in these lines is wrong, she may end without a job.

she said isn't sure she received the e-mail, which means that if she did, she didn't read. We have zero idea on whether the manager's phone was there.

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It's the manager's responsibility to ensure you have the contact information. If they didn't confirm that's an oversight on their part as well. You are 17 going to school and working a part time job. The manager may try to tell you some things need to be your responsibility, but it's also hers for something as basic as contact information.

> on that app is where you’re able to communicate with your co-workers and manager, so I thought it would be okay to message her there since that was the only way I could of get a hold of her

It should be okay to use work-provided tools for work-intended communication. Your employer and manager are dumb.

> my manager explains to my mom that there was a sick policy and I was supposed to call or text her

Your job reeks of mismanagement, which tells a lot about your new manager.

> The whole point of the app is to get everyone on the same page and so that there's no he said/she said about call ins.

Or the clock in app has a messenging system that's so bad everybody else use something more covnenient.
My own work has a centralized workday-keeping system that is so bad at doing changes that we only "officially request days off" after we already checked the shared calendar and asked the boss.

> We have zero idea on whether the manager's phone was there.

But the manager can be sure she didn't receive an acknowledgement from OP to confirm she had received the policy. Which is kinda important.
Before covid I was stuck at home in sick leave with orders to come back to work at X day... but in the mean time lockdown happened.

Absolutely everybody assumed that everybody knew the procedure and forgot that people on sick leave have no way to reach the company-wide comms.
THANK GOD I had my boss's personal phone number to call directly against the usual policy.

So they send a very important email and never check that employees did read it? Email is one-way for a reason.

> Edit: that being said, you did FU by involving your mother. You should be able to solve your problems.

You may have missed that OP is a minor.
It is the legal representative's job to verify that OP's employer is not endengering OP's safety and as such the mother has all the rights to call out the manager.
If the minor is so sick they couldn't stay at school, they are not well enough to go at work.

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Trust in a job is important. My own work sets 2 or sometimes even 3 reminders for policy changes that can cause a risk. And changes are publically available a month in advance.
Heck, I know since August that we will have less time off next year.

Forgetting the new name of our division is an happy mistake. Changing sick leave procedure is important and requires to be SURE the employee knew about it.
Also email is NOT a guaranteed medium if done online, my dad's email about his train accident was received by my grandma... one year later.

Your managers have absolutely no idea how to manage or communicate with their employees and happily throw them under the bus when the issue comes up. It's not a safe work relationship, stay safe. :(

> it's the employee job to be responsible and to read the email

And it is the manager's job to ensure the employee did his job. If the manager had done their job, they wouldn't have gotten understaffed. An issue was bound to happen with their system. I'm even surprised it wasn't done on purpose tbh.

Right as the mother of kids her age I couldn’t imagine butting my nose in and calling their work place. Wtf is that!

OP, I think you did the best you could under the circumstances. I endured incomprehensible uterine/menstrual pain for years, and it's all you can do to remember your name much less office protocol. You were sick, so don't beat yourself up like everybody else around you. They'll get over it...life goes on. I would suggest seeing your doctor to discuss your extreme cramping. There are medications that can help you.

Honestly, I think you attempted to do what you felt was justified. Usually with new sick policies, a manager is supposed to let all employees know with a verbal acknowledgement first, then for you to understand and sign it- either in person or electronically.

So sending out a randomly-timed email to a personal account makes her also accountable, and it can get messy- such as your situation. And yes we may accidentally put an abundance of mixed messages in the trashcan.

I will say though, your mother shouldn't have intervened. You are 17, still young, but do have to create some backbone/independence when defending your sick day, as you are entering the workforce and sometimes can be taken for granted.

All in all, I think with what you had, you did what was justified.

this. you did absolutely nothing wrong and should not have gone in sick either.

Why are we all saying this isn't her fault? Management is obviously kind of bad, but it seems like they were understanding of the situation anyways. But OP should have made sure someone got the message that she wasn't going to be there, and if nobody could cover the shift it was still OP's responsibility to show up with menstrual cramps.

Obviously her coworkers declining to go in and cover for her makes them assholes too, but they didn't necessarily do something irresponsible in this situation.

The fact that OP is 17 gives her lots of leeway too, and definitely makes it the managers responsibility to make sure everybody understands everything, but that doesn't mean everyone should be teaching teenagers bad work ethic by saying it isn't her own fault.

This feels like a Walgreens story.

I indeed missed that and am sorry about what my answer implied.

Sorry OP. Rest of my answer still stands, it was not ur fault.

The only way you messed up is by keeping that job.

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L + bozo + ratio

"...which tells a lot about your new manager"

Or the old manager or the corporate structure of communications itself. There are a lot of people in this chain that can be/are wrong.

Stop feeling guilty. This is the managers’ TIFU. One, they failed to ensure everyone had their phone number when they decided for themselves that they weren’t gonna use an app they knew employees used for workplace communications. Two, they FU’d when they decided not to use said app. Three, they thought emailing teenagers was gonna work and got all mad when it didn’t.

And finally, if you’re sick, don’t go in. Regardless of any circumstances management wants to whine about. Every boss is gonna resort to every legal and illegal way they can use to try to trick employees into accepting being treated like shit. So don’t give this jerk any ammo by accepting blame that isn’t yours.

Your apology to then just enabled them more.

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The FU isn’t with you, it’s with your manager. She clearly was able to get ahold of you so got the message. She should have said “we have a policy, I will let this one go but you need to know for next time the proper procedure” it’s also her fault you didn’t have her number.

I say this as a manager with a sick policy. I always give my employees one chance and remind them of what the expectations are. After that it’s on them but the first time is always an exception.

If there's an important company policy that involves being able to reach a manager outside of store hours, that policy should have been printed out and physically handed to OP so management could be certain she was aware of the new policy.

I've worked in retail for 7 years and I will never call out without making sure I have my shift covered. It's just not fair to my team. If I'm really sick and I show up to work sick, then they will find someone so I can go home early. If you want to keep a job, you have to consider the entire team.

You didn’t fuck up, fuck your piece of shit manager

Beyond that they need to send and receive a text for confirmation.

It's not your job to make sure shifts are covered. Guess who's job that is.

Yeah I think you definitely made some bad assumptions. You are 17 though don't worry. In a couple of years from now this wont bother you xD

You really should of had a solid way of contacting your manager, you might not even be to blame at all if your manager was supposed to use that app. The fact they had your number but you didn't have there's seems strange. But ignoring that email was... the wrong choice.

Your mum shouldn't have screamed at you.

I'm a former manager for a not "fast food" sandwich shop. Our company policy (franchise owner policy, not parent company policy)was to send not only an email, but a text to the employees at our store updating information if there is a change in management. Your manager was at fault. If she did not get confirmation of all employees receiving the email with updates (hence the reason for texting) then it is her responsibility to make sure all employees have her contact info. Especially if they provide a work app that states it is for clock in/out & messaging co-workers/managers, then it is her job to check that app to ensure she had no messages.

This is not a YOU problem, this is a management/company problem.

Also just an FYI, no company can force you to come in if you are calling out ill (regardless of if you are or not) It is the managers job to either call someone in or cover the shift themselves. Sounds like she was just trying to be a bully because of your age.

I’ve always been told that unless you get confirmation that your boss has seen your message or got your call then you continue until they do. Next time if you don’t have your managers work phone the workplace directly and ask to speak to them or get the information to contact them.

That being said if you are 17 you shouldn’t be the one expected to be responsible for delivering training to new employees and no matter your age your boss should be respectful. They can direct you to policy if you haven’t done it correctly but talking down to someone is not the way.

Half the battle is companies are switching everything digital. In my work we have three different apps, email and a company phone to communicate with each other and it is super confusing to keep in contact with each other as you have to check them all and information can be missed.

As a former manager, I do have to say, this is every managers nightmare. With enough notice I can either find someone to cover, or maybe rework the schedule to at least cover some of the shift, but I do need you to make sure I know, and 5 hours is pushing it. Managers are often so busy that checking all the apps several times a day isn't realistic. On the other hand I always made myself available pretty much 24/7. Everyone had my number or knew where it was. I think there's fault on both sides here. And I'm not sure menstrual cramps would count as an excused absence unless you told me ahead of time that it was a recurring problem and you couldn't work that couple of days.

This is the real issue. Most people here don't understand how hectic retail management is, but regardless every employee should know how to contact the manager at any time. That's absolutely a big failing.

This.

Real talk about jobs:

-If you are sick, you are sick. Period. (hehe) If there is no one to cover for you, that is your manager's issue to deal with. It does not matter what the reason is. You. Are. Sick. and will not be in.

-The store will not explode if it is not open for a day.

-If you were to keel over and die, they'd immediately find a replacement. Don't bend too far backwards for them. Ever. Unless they pay you double.

Do you have a uterus? Because it sounds like you haven't had bad menstrual cramps before. I have PCOS and sometimes "menstrual cramps" is truly debilitating pain with basically no notice for me thanks to irregular cycles. I've had vomiting from pain, I've passed out from pain, etc. I was definitely not able to work in those conditions. Doctors blew me off for years and just told me it was "normal cramps." Thankfully it's finally diagnosed and I'm able to manage it better than I could as a late teen. But it should 100% be as much of an excuse to miss work as a cold, stomach bug, or other very painful condition.

Your mom sounds controlling. She's not the one working there.

Your mom sounds as insufferable as your manager

Never bend backward for jobs or people that have no care for your well-being. Company’s and managers fail to realize that those demands are what causes their companies to be revolving doors of employees. Nobody wants to feel anxiety that they’ll be harassed over being sick or needing the day off for whatever reason. They’ll try to push you, push back, don’t settle for less than mutual respect. You’ll only be burnt out by trying to function like a robot for jobs that can’t even pay the bills at the end of the month, or for people who wouldn’t bat an eye if you were gravely sick or died, except for the fact that “we’re down an employee”. Also, I’d tell your manager that good policy is making sure when you change policies that employees are at lest verbally told they need to check their emails for policy updates. You know the saying, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

After you already spread your illness to everyone else. I appreciate when a coworker doesn’t come in when they’re sick. All that does it lead to someone else getting sick and having to call in. It’s a toxic workplace mentality to not allow yourself to stay home when ill.

At my work we use an app for calculating hours/pay and there are request off options that the GM has notifcations turned on for. Other than that he would not know if I told him anything else through that app, and I wouldnt figure that he would. Without talking to someone I would figure it's on me to make sure someone actually recieves notice. A voicemail/text in the least if they don't answer a second time.. does this business not have a phone number to contact the building itself to just ask for a manager? (Legit question)

Its called being responsible and wearing a mask. When you work in a place that only has 10 coworkers total, you quickly realize that the world doesn't adhere to every minor inconvenience.

Lol. Here’s a tip on becoming an adult. Do everything in your power to stop your mom from calling your supervisor/manager to bitch at them.

Are you aware of the sick policy now? Usually its in the contract you sign when you start working (at least mine was).

I don’t work an easy field. 1 person out can run you pretty late to leave. Still stand by my opinion on the matter.

Congrats.

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Yoo thats sus fr

I would say that the manager failed to train you correctly if you did not know the sick policy existed, that you had the managers number etc.

You know better now, please ask your mom not to call and shout at work for you in future, it really doesn't help you, you end up being known as "that employee whose mom phoned and complained"

the sick policy is great and all, but its a best case scenario, if you were hit by a car on the way to work you can't call in, so now your manager *does* know, she/he should deal with it and cover **themselves** too many managers above covering lower level employees.

Hope you feel better, SAVE the managers phone number.

Oh and don't worry about calling at 3am if that's when you first feel sick, just leave a voicemail and its no longer your problem, you followed protocol.

I'm sorry OP, your manager is exploiting you because you're young and inexperienced. You did NOT have to show up, you did everything right given the situation. Your mom was also too harsh on you. I'd recommend finding a different job and it's okay to stand your ground.

Yes, I understand and if she's aware that happens every month, I at least, would have been willing to make arrangements. My only point was that 5 hours, without even direct contact will not be enough time to find a replacement, especially if she hasn't talked to the manager directly. I do agree that the manager not providing employees with direct contact means is a big part of the issue. I always made sure everyone had my number and I was like call anytime for any kind of an emergency.

I did nearly this same thing at 17 when I worked part time at a retail clothing store. If you're not in a life or death profession, it will all be okay and everyone will live even if there is an inconvenience. Take this as a learning experience of how you can avoid a similar situation in the future. Also keep in mind that people older than you aren't always right or know better, even if they are your manager or your parent.

>if she's aware that happens every month

It's not like a pre-scheduled thing. Teenagers have incredibly unpredictable cycles, even more so if they have any gynaecological condition.

If it's PCOS it often happens unrelated to a period, as cysts usually occur during ovulation.

I've been a manager in fast food, it really does suck to have to cover shifts on the fly but it is the most crucial part of the job. That's why hiring is so important, so that you get people who can cover gaps in a short notice.

And 5hours isn't even that bad, our industry agreement says 1hour notice is all casuals have to give.

I don't know where you work, but I'm assuming it's a store since you are 17. You should always call your place of work if you are calling out or need to speak to a manager. That number is just as good as having your manager's personal number.

Ok, lots of people saying it was not your fault, but also: your mom calling, then yelling at you? That’s not normal.

This is so true, any manager will not take kindly to have to deal with a parent or partner.

They will want you gone, because having a third party involved that they never hired will just cause a huge headache for them.

I'm not saying i fired people over this, but definitely stopped going the extra mile for them if they had the gall to send a karen to annoy me on their behalf.

Don't think you f'ed up because your parent doesn't have your best interest at heart.

I hope your situation at home improves, because it sounds like it's taking a toll on you.

You know no one will die if you call in sick? At the very worst your employer loses some money that day.

Because I work in healthcare and everyone would rather I stay home than getting them all infected.

Also unless you're in full PPE your single mask won't stop them getting sick.

> With enough notice I can either find someone to cover

As a manager, what do you do when you have no notice at all?
My wife got sent in the hospital in emergency because she fainted around 4pm. She was 18 at the time and not allowed to call her parents, because you know, she's an adult. She had to plead to be allowed to call... at 10pm.

> but I do need you to make sure I know, and 5 hours is pushing it.

In our country, emergency hospital procedure is that the patient is not allowed basically anything if there's no doctor to examine : no eating, no calling. If no doctor is available you're basically in prison because they have no idea what is or is not a danger to yourself.

The fact is that you are running a business, and you need to plan for the case where an employee will not even be good enough to follow the sick policy.
If your employee get hit by a car, do you let the coworker handle the entire shift?

> My only point was that 5 hours, without even direct contact will not be enough time to find a replacement, especially if she hasn't talked to the manager directly.

Not her fault when the manager didn't make sure everybody had emergency contact. A employee which is sick or enjuried literally need the simplest way to raise the issue. You can't even be sure THE EMPLOYEE will be the one calling : my wife once lost her voice and they didn't want her husband to vouch for her... yet at the same time only accepted vocal calls.

And in particular, that means a single point of contact that doesn't change depending on the manager. Sick policy shouldn't need a service-wide update because one person quit.

> I always made sure everyone had my number and I was like call anytime for any kind of an emergency.

And that's what that shitty manager didn't do. They sent an email and never checked for confirmation. You would say that it's how some humans behave... but again, the work of a manager is to manage humans.

Yeah, the new manager can't be entirely blamed. But the whole point that the sick policy depends entirely on the manager when you have a central app...

Time-keeping app > Employee : Unable to fulfill service > (App : Checks shift manager, send email) > Manager notified

No more need to have a list of managers. If my wife is KO'd I don't want to have to second-guess how to call her sick.

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Also I feel nobody noticed that this manager would be really pissed off if OP had died under a car or something. Nobody is calling sick so I guess somebody will go to the cemetary to fill a penalty and ask why they didn't call?

My office coworker got a less-permanent variant : he got in the hospital in emergency and was allowed a few minutes on the phone (my wife didn't had this luxury!).
Issue? None of the bosses were there yet to receive the warning, as a last resort he tried my number and tasked me to find anybody in the hierachy that would be busy between the offices.

It worked, but anybody assuming that people with medical emergencies can follow a policy never called sick and blindingly assumes that people safety goes after the job.

What stops every manager from just ignoring sick messages then? Boom, perfect attendance

What type of job is this? Is it a restaurant job? It sounds like it

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Right. I agree with all of that. All of my employees knew how to contact me and that if it was important it could be at any time. This whole thing only really started for me because of all the people saying 5 hours is enough. Those people gave never managed a store full of 21 year Olds who just need enough money to party.

Depends on the employee and how busy, but for me if it's someone experienced, I trusted that person to make the call and maybe I can get them some help or the next shift person to come in early. I generally hired compassionate people so in the case of something major I could get someone a lot of the time. If necessary I would cover it myself, but working 50 or 60 hours a week gets really old really fast. Usually my policy was as long as we get 24 hours notice or it is actually an emergency, that wouldn't be reflected on a person's record. Short notice or not showing up was considered an inexcused absence and there's still no consequence unless you rack up 3 of them in a year, at which point we would call the person and and talk about what we can do. I tried to be nice, so if it's like a scheduling problem or something we can resolve then we will do that. But it's not fair to the other employees to just let it go.

Wow, that would drive me insane. I thought reliability was one of the most important things.

>I had no idea that there was a sick policy

Old manager/orientation

​

>But the whole point that the sick policy depends entirely on the manager when you have a central app...

Doesn't sound like it to me, sounds like the sick policy involves texting/calling the manager first, otherwise this post would be about "My manager did not follow the sick policy" instead of "I followed an old/ad hoc sick policy"

​

>If my wife is KO'd I don't want to have to second-guess how to call her sick.

So you're going to login for your wife on her work app? I've worked for a few companies where that'd get your wife KO'd from a job as well. Also, apps can go down, wifis can go down. The quickest/most reliable way to contact anyone not physically in one's presence is via phone.

The lesson here is always know employment policies, especially when under new management.

It doesn't sound like your manager didn't get your message, in which case they're being a dick. If they got it and wanted you to report it another way, the thing to do as a manager would be to say that you need to do something, not ignore it.

Only thin I'd add is about your email. You're 17, it's not like you have a busy social email scene, Surely the only people emailing you are work, school, and companies sending you promo emails. No need to delete anything, just throw it into folders (either automatically, or as it comes in) and let it stay there forever. Then, if you do accidentally misjudge something, you can find it later instead of it being gone forever.