TIFU by kissing a guy on the cheek

Submitted by pettyclassymolassy t3_xsqpyj in tifu

TIFU by kissing a guy on the cheeks and then running away

So, I (20F) met this guy (23TM) on a dating app, like almost a year ago. We went on a couple of dates and it was mostly nice but then I shifted cities, and he shifted cities so nothing much. Recently, I shifted to a new city for my job and he was also there, and we went out a few times. It's mostly been decent, and I genuinely felt like he has no romantic interest in me. We just hung out as therapy friends (?) and talked about stuff with other people in our lives. The last date we went on was a little different, tho. We went to a nice garden, it was kinda romantic? We had street food, made impromptu plans, flirted a little bit. All in all, it was going great. Somewhere during the date he asked me if I was up for a kiss, and it really took me by surprise because I had no idea he was actually romantically interested in me. We were in a public place, so nothing really happened. But, and - here comes the fuck up - towards the end of the date, I was kinda sad to be leaving, and while we were in the train, I kissed him on the cheek. He was taken aback, and I. Well. I ran out the train. Legit. Ran out. Ughhhhh. I feel so cringe and wierd and teenagy about it like it was really really stupid. It was, like a stupid impulse? Idk. I apologised about it on text, and said that I should have asked first. He said he was okay, but idk. I felt like it was very invasive, and we were in a train so there is judgement of other people as well, idk. Like he said the people in the train were viewing him weirdly afterwards? (We live in a largely traditional, conservative, homophobic country, and this was in the ladies compartment) And anyway I feel like a dick for 1. Not asking and 2. Running like an idioit afterwards. Ugh. I apologised multiple times on text, and he said he was ok, but I don't think he is. We haven't talked after that and I think it's going to stay that way.

TL;DR : I kissed a guy i really like on the cheek in the train without his consent, and then ran away like a school girl.

UPDATE: Thanks for your advice guys, I realised that just me apolgising was making it wierd. He said he actually liked it and was smiling all the way home. We met again like, yesterday and kissed :)

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Lord_Joshlee t1_iqltebw wrote

It's OK nothing happened he came home smiling for sure. Be sure to make him come for more

13

ConferenceOk1110 t1_iqlu7o4 wrote

This consent thing is getting out of hand. You were flirting with each other. IMHO you don't need consent to give him a surprise kiss on the cheek. It's part of flirting/dating/a new romance.

What's next? You need to ask consent to hold hands?

138

prettyprettyalien t1_iqlvl8d wrote

I think it's ok. He asked you earlier about him kissing you. So, it was definitely on his mind. I'm sure you'll be taking again. He just has to process what happened. Maybe he didn't think you were thinking of him romantically & he was taken by surprise.

100

FatBrownMan_ t1_iqlvs1b wrote

Ummm.. you are overthinking. You are apologizing unnecessarily and making him uncomfortable by doing that. Trust me! Homophobic aunties are least of his worries. You shouldn't have run away lol. But instead of apologizing you should have come clean that you like him so you kissed him on the cheek. He wanted to kiss you already, so you kissing him on the cheek is not such a big deal like you are making it out to be. Everything is the same so continue flirting with him and be forward since you already took the first step and kissed him.

TL;DR: STOP OVERTHINKING and CONTINUE FLIRTING!

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quequotion t1_iqlwz1v wrote

>met on a dating app

>going on dates

>thought he wasn't romantically interested

477

National-Fig9213 t1_iqlyb93 wrote

Girl the only fuck up you did was apologizing for the kiss. He asked first for a kiss which means he gave consent already and you gave it back when you took the first step. Running away might be a lil weird and awkward but NONE of what you did needs an apology and the way you’re making a big deal of it. If anything, he should’ve thought it’s cute. Be confident and own up to yourself, and never apologize for something that’s not wrong because all it’s gonna do is make you look weak and most importantly he and other people will take advantage of it and gaslight you because you’re too nice. Now go get yours girlie good luck

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Imnotanad t1_iqlz4ui wrote

wtf... consent ? really? Please tell me you are a paedophile

−9

NukeWarz t1_iqlzf0p wrote

HE ALREADY ASKED YOU ABOUT KISSING. Kid he literally set up consent already beforehand. I get it, I really try hard to not make most people uncomfortable, but this was tee'd up and you just gave it a little bump.

9/10 chance he will take your little run away as adorable. Stop apologizing in his dms because that can make a nothing into a completely different thing.

girl. you got this come on now, son.

1

Jesusfan1337 t1_iqlzfif wrote

I dont get it do you like him you state that there isnt romance even though you met on a dating app why did you run away and text him sorry i dont think you did anything wrong by kissing him but apologing might send super weird messages to him

2

ExtensionConcept2471 t1_iqm185s wrote

Guy gets kissed by a girl while they’re on a date! Honestly, I’m sure he’s A okay with this, you’re overthinking this! stop apologising, continue chatting and ask him out on a proper ‘date’ and I’m sure he will be more than happy to accept.

2

6byfour t1_iqm25m9 wrote

Face cheek or butt cheek?

−4

Joosh93 t1_iqm2dpv wrote

Did you just trademark the age of 23?

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Stock_Yesterday_4601 t1_iqm3bk4 wrote

"largely traditional, conservative, honophobic country" Poland, guessed it right?

0

blooperduper33 t1_iqm4irz wrote

I’d be more embarrassed about this post than kissing him on the cheek and leaving

5

Angry-Lama t1_iqm632a wrote

He might be the happiest person alive rn lol

1

External-Tap3309 t1_iqmch78 wrote

I feel too old :(

Back in highschool, we were on a trip, and i pulled the guy i liked by the elbow and fully kissed him. He pinned me to the wall and kissed me back. But later said he wasn't really looking for something and we stayed friends. He actually really didn't get awkward much and has my full respect. But i also didn't get awkward 🤷🏼

2

AndrewwwG t1_iqmdrha wrote

What's a TM? I'm eastern European, don't kill me

2

Queasy_Raccoon_2057 t1_iqme8l1 wrote

OMG. I'm so glad I'm old now. Consent for a kiss on the cheek? I can't even... Only thing that made it awkward was the apology, in my opinion. All the rest was normal.

1

BaseballDelicious674 t1_iqmeima wrote

Stupidest anal retentive post of the week. Surely it’s kindergarten stuff in its ridiculousness

3

BaseballDelicious674 t1_iqmenvi wrote

I’m spreading this around to my friends for their comedy moments.

1

Gemple t1_iqmfvhn wrote

He said you should have asked first?
What are you, Amish?

5

mat-2018 t1_iqmg4p7 wrote

Everyone is talking about consent etc etc. Imho the actual problem here is the guy was taken aback because he wanted a lips kiss not a cheek kiss (bc the latter usually means a friendly goodbye, thus he thought you weren't romantically interested).

7

I_Need_Leaded_GAS t1_iqmkc21 wrote

20 yrs old and needs consent for a kiss and runs away. Shoot me now the world is crap.

3

Stock_Yesterday_4601 t1_iqml61a wrote

Replying to pettyclassymolassy (#11,059)

Duuude, it took a while, much more than I expected as a geography nerd :)

I always felt Indians all type like one. It's not a specific nation/country issue or something stereotypical, it's probably true for all countries, including my own. But for India it's even more 'hive-mind' when it comes to English, sorry if that sounds weird. This thoughts were the ones that kept me guessing like this, haha.

1

Upset_Taste_9309 t1_iqmloky wrote

Maybe you caught him by surprise but it sounds like he had already decided he wanted to kiss you. Maybe he wanted to make the first move or maybe he was confused because you didn’t kiss him when he asked. Maybe he thought you were kissing him on the cheek like a friend would do. Did you guys talk about it afterwards? About what it meant to you? He might also be confused by you apologizing. Maybe he feels like you regret kissing him. (As in you changed your mind about it) I would talk to him. Just reach out and say you would like to see him again. Regardless of how awkward it got lol

6

cantthinkofaname654 t1_iqmxqvu wrote

If he's gone on several dates with you and you just now kissed him not only is he interested he's been giving his consent to be kissed for awhile now i guarantee it..the running away thing is either hilarious or the cutest thing ever I'd have to be there either way funny

Edited to guarantee it

1

External-Tap3309 t1_iqn6jvb wrote

Replying to Shaunflix (#11,508)

Besides the obvious, lol, i really wasn't his type🤣😅 And i kinda knew it but i wasn't sure, cause he was also kinda flirty. Also we were very very good friends, and we stayed like that all through highschool. But i also get your point😁

1

Slash_Raptor92 t1_iqnhv4d wrote

Oh no you kissed him on the cheek what is this world coming too? This is in no way a fuck up. I mean come on, it was on the cheek! Even if it was on the lips, no guy that's interested in the person kissing is going to be like "I feel so violated, they kissed me on the lips!"

2

LO_BRO203 t1_iqnqzw8 wrote

Invasive? I would have thought that was the cutest thing ever! Leaving a little mystique......

1

AndrewFishay t1_iqo1jyl wrote

I get the homophobic side, and why that concerns you. But the kiss on the cheek and running away is kinda cute 🤷🏻‍♂️ I would have found it sweet. Just be honest and don’t apologies anymore. If you go on another date at least you both know where you stand.

2

jgalt5042 t1_iqobvfa wrote

It’s completely fine. I did the same thing when I was a child, I’ll always remember that first kiss. Not only was I a wee lad but I spoke none of the language

1

Worldly_Ad_6243 t1_iqonhu9 wrote

As a guy, if a bird did this to me it'd make my lifetime.

1

bamphy t1_iqoyf9i wrote

It really sounds like you're overthinking it OP

1

ashleebryn t1_iqoyq57 wrote

Are there any posts on this reddit anymore from people older than their 20s? Cuz this is getting old.

1

Im_So_Korny t1_iqp4bri wrote

He asked you first. It was a flirty thing to do that seems completely innocent. Even in a hyper conservative environment. It could have been worse. You could have been holding hands! GASP!

Like someone else posted: Stop over thinking it. 👍

2

CaregiverNo9090 t1_iqp8aaa wrote

So what? You kissed another chick. Whoop dee do.

1

GsTSaien t1_iqphuhi wrote

Ok calm down.

He is into you, 100%.

He asked for a kiss, and you only kissed his cheek, you did not breach consent or make him uncomfortable.

It is ok to be silly and romantic and run away because you got flustered, just rail it back a bit so that you can have and maintain grounded expectations.

If you aren't talking recently, it is most likely because YOU have stopped. Ask him if he wants to go out again, he will tell you if he doesn't.

Enjoy yourself, don't worry about how people look at you as long as you stay safe.

Good luck.

6

guy30000 t1_iqpmntn wrote

I don't think you fd up. With the little info you give or sounds like they might possibly not be ready for themselves. There is likely some interest there but be ready for some crazy as it's often turbulent for a trans to figure themselves out in even the most accepting of communities.

3

pettyclassymolassy OP t1_iqpxyar wrote

Replying to guy30000 (#13,710)

Yes! Thank you so much. He's said this before that he's still confused about a lot of things, and not really ready for stuff - so yes, this also puts things in perspective! Thanks!

2

quequotion t1_iqq0v1y wrote

Replying to NerdHerder77 (#14,090)

I wonder if they keep any data on that. Like I strongly doubt the sincerity of anyone using a dating app to meet someone of a gender they could be romantically involved with strictly for platonic friendship. I assume this is for people who are too socially akward to outright say they are looking for romance who are then nonetheless disappointed when it does not occur, and that it occasionally does occur despite having told the app it wasn't what they were looking for.

10

NerdHerder77 t1_iqq1yvf wrote

Replying to quequotion (#14,098)

I have not used Bumble myself yet, but in researching, it seems there is an option to include or limit yourself to not only romantic partnerships, but social and business partnerships as well. Whether or not that social or business relationship blossoms into a romantic one from a platonic one is a whole 'nother branch on the proverbial tree, but it seems that some dating apps are not solely for dating apps.

2

Grantlbart1 t1_iqrpnpa wrote

Girl, be nice to yourself. This guy sounds really understanding. As someone who breaks their head over every little stupid decision I made, and gets anxiety over every bigger stupid decision every second day, I feel you. But please don't stop meetung with him over this. I have had several moments in my life were I broke off contact over something which at the time seemed way worse than it was.

And I regret every one of them.

1

serj0n t1_iqvdnph wrote

The question here is what country are you living in? To put your situation in a context that might be different from other more open, less conservative countries like the west.

1

parasoljack t1_iqyyo80 wrote

I'm confused why was a dude in the ladies compartment?

1

Physical-Ad9076 t1_ir21ozd wrote

Replying to Bootygiuliani420 (#11,804)

what.. he asked her first about a kiss so im guessing it was kinda planted in her head now, her running off & not asking consensually for a kiss might’ve been the turn off. overalls yalls replies are just mean

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Known-Championship20 t1_ir4z8k1 wrote

I can't imagine any country not controlled by the Taliban so conservative that it is considered a f-up for a girl to kiss a guy on the cheek in public.

Saudi maybe?

1

MicoL425 t1_ir6sctx wrote

Is this in the Philippines?

1

Mikey4You t1_ir8rj3q wrote

Replying to quequotion (#10,449)

I’ve met dudes on dating apps, had great dates, and then shifted into a weird place where we get along great but don’t really have a romantic vibe but it’s still sort of date-y and confusing. It happens.

0

Figgy20000 t1_ir9u7wi wrote

If you meet a guy who's single and looking and he's not romantically interested either

1: There's something very wrong with you

2: There's something very wrong with him

Chances are more likely that he's very interested and you need to read the room a little bit better :)

1

Greenstrum t1_ircv4lz wrote

Here in Mexico it is very common to kiss a friend of the opposite sex on the cheek to greet and to say bye.

1

Wildcatb t1_ire9ivq wrote

Oh, wow... the awkward cheek kiss and run away...

...yeah, I did that once.

We've been married 20 years now.

Don't overthink it.

2

pettyclassymolassy OP t1_irf86gs wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#34,297)

Its kinda relevant in the context, because he doesn't pass yet so for onlookers it might have seemed contraversial as the country we are in is homophobic, and I was worried that might have made him uncomfortable as he had to stay in the train with all the other homophobic aunties.

1

odeacon t1_irr1c3h wrote

What’s a tm

1

BillzBeersnBroads t1_iszzrlj wrote

I can just picture you kissing him in the cheek super awkwardly, getting up to bolt and running straight into a closing train door.

1