>Friends don’t do that.

Eh… I can definitely see a case where OP is constantly pinning after their ex and complaining or moping about it to his friends, and they constantly tell him for his own sake to either cut her off or go for it, and eventually they’re just kind of sick of constantly hearing about the perpetual state of miserable limbo he’s keeping himself in—both because they care about him, and are also tried of him being a dumbass—and so they push him to do something drastic.

Pushing him to do it while he’s blackout drunk and she’s in a relationship is pretty awful, but I could see how a friend might actually think that their current situation is so toxic anyway, that anything is better than maintaining the status quo.

Are those good friends? Probably not, but I can tell you from similar situations and dynamics (both as a participant and an outside observer) that friendship’s are a two way street, and infinite patience and unconditional love and support is not—and should not be—a thing from anyone but maybe your parents.

I’ve had a couple of friends that were in similar situations and the first few months it’s easy to empathize and be completely supportive, but after a few years of trying to get them to do anything, you start to feel like the friendship is a one way street where everything always becomes about them and their issues, and like your own friendship dynamics is completely unhealthy and starting to become drain that’s negatively affecting you.

It’s not great for anyone involved, but sometimes that’s the reality.