Was it possibly the kindness that broke you? When my dad was dying his ex-girlfriend/caretaker kidnapped him, took him over state lines, forced him into a quickie marriage (he had dementia and said she threatened him), brought a disbarred attorney into his home to rewrite his will, and then gradually upped his meds until he died, months before he was supposed to. It was the most stressful thing in my entire life (including my near death). And everytime someone was kind to me, I lost it. With complete strangers sometimes. I was living in a world where I was having to watch my front, back, and sides (the ex's friends had warned me that harming me might be easier than fighting me) and surrounded by so much toxicity that the smallest bits of kindness left me undone. It sounds like you've been to hell and back these last months. So if it was the sandwich, that's a-ok. We've almost all been there and you've more than earned your moment. But I just wondered if maybe it was actually the kindness that got you. Either way, I'm glad things are looking up overall, now I hope you start having better days and can enjoy yourself again.