Submitted by Swimmin_Duck t3_11yx01m in tifu
During my lunch break this afternoon I went to get a haircut at the Supercuts around the corner from my office. The very nice woman taking care of me was someone I had before a few times. She was doing the pleasant small talk thing (I'm not a fan but I know that's kinda part of it) and she asked me "Are you ready for your birthday?". At least that is what I heard.
Now, my birthday is in a week and I guess that info is in their system or something? I don't know. But I decided to roll with it. I made a joke of rolling my eyes and said "ugh, no!"
She frowned a little. She must love birthdays. She then asked "Well aren't you excited?" to which I replied "Haha. Not really, it's more annoying than anything else."
She gave kind of a week smile and said "What are you guys having?" This question confused me a little. Like, what am I gonna have for my birthday dinner? She must mean that. Weird line of questioning but ok. I said "Oh, I don't know. I guess I will figure it out at some point"
She now looked slightly offended and a little confused. "Oh. Ok. Well when is she due?"
It is then I realized that she did not ask me about my birthday but asked if I was ready for the baby my girlfriend/wife and I have on the way. I do not have a baby on the way. She clearly mistook me for another regular I guess.
I quickly replayed my previous answers to her questions and realized then what a profound asshole I sound like. At one point she clearly asked if I was having a son or daughter, to which I had responded "I don't know, I guess I will figure it out".
Then, for some ungodly reason reason, rather than quickly walk things back and apologizing for mishearing her, I got it in my head that continuing the conversation would be less awkward. So when she asked "When is she due" and I realized with horror what was going on, I sheepishly said "Oh, umm in a month" We did not talk much more for the rest of the time I was there.
So I clearly can't go back there anymore...
TL;DR - I misheard the woman cutting my hair. I thought she was asking about my birthday but was actually asking about the birth of my girlfriend's/wife's soon arriving baby (which I am not having). My answers to her questions then came across as quite horrific.
DarkAthena t1_jd9wlix wrote
I am dying.
I’m sorry OP.