notanaccounttofollow t1_jdcjajh wrote on March 23, 2023 at 12:51 PM

It’s over. Sorry pal. Better off in the long run. If she was willing to do that shady shit behind your back and wasn’t decent enough to come at you face to face and end it, she’s not a good person. Get yourself some therapy and get yourself together, get back on your feet and live for you and your kids.

[deleted] OP t1_jdcjkzz wrote on March 23, 2023 at 12:53 PM

Ya, I am currently in therapy. Thats what the therapy is for but man its hard

notanaccounttofollow t1_jdcjqi7 wrote on March 23, 2023 at 12:54 PM

I understand. Cliche as hell but it gets better. Find the things that make you feel good, and utilize it. Same with friends and Family for support.

[deleted] OP t1_jdcjwxk wrote on March 23, 2023 at 12:56 PM

Normally I would say ya, but this won't be the first time we broke up, she dumped me senior high school and I did not take it well. And life definitely did not get better

notanaccounttofollow t1_jdckak4 wrote on March 23, 2023 at 12:59 PM

And now you’re older and wiser. I’ve been there in some sort of sense, felt like there was nothing, drank myself in to a pit of despair (and an extra 25 pounds). I hated everything and felt like nothing was ever gonna change. I also found myself repeating out loud a lot “ I don’t deserve this”, and I was right. And chances are you don’t either. I could keep on with the normally sayings and what not but reality is- you get one shot at this life, and you wanna waste it feeling this way for a person who sounds like she wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. Gotta love yourself man. It’s the only way.

[deleted] OP t1_jdckfgy wrote on March 23, 2023 at 1:00 PM

I just don't care anymore

sergius64 t1_jdcp0ky wrote on March 23, 2023 at 1:35 PM

This victim role you're pushing yourself into is a defense mechanism and a poor one at that.

Correct way to deal with this is to get your self-esteem back on track. You're a man, approach this situation like one. Open your eyes to what's good about you, what's attractive about you, what you love and like about yourself. Once you remember that you're a good man with a lot to offer, once you remember that you like yourself and want to see yourself succeed - your inner resources will naturally go towards recovering from this correctly and moving on to something better.

How we think about things matters a great deal. In this case it will be a difference in total misery for a long time, or a quick recovery with a relationship with someone better on the horizon.

Pestyballs t1_jdcstuz wrote on March 23, 2023 at 2:03 PM

I know what it feels like to get in that state of depression. You really want to stay in a dark room by yourself and it doesn't help that others will think you're "playing the victim."

Do what you can, if you want to talk or vent feel free to message me.

FlipSchitz t1_jdcv0op wrote on March 23, 2023 at 2:18 PM

Family, friends, therapist - talk to them if you have 'em. Get really into your hobbies or find new ones. Health and fitness, whatever you can. Find the things that give you comfort and do those. Do everything you can to invest in yourself. Draw open the curtains. Open the windows. Get outside to green spaces. Heal before you get back out there. All of your anger, hurt and despair should be focused into improving you. Do not seek comfort in drugs or alcohol. You will have to acknowledge these feelings. Its a little easier at first if you just keep busy. Its going to suck. It will get better, slowly. But you will come out the other side better if you do all of these things.