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dissgustingg t1_jb37rgj wrote

Try and recover by saying you’ve never experienced such an amazing bj

2,144

chickie2691 t1_jb39tjo wrote

Happy cake day

133

jap_the_cool t1_jb5c7jf wrote

Maybe it was even his first bj… he never mentioned anything about it

50

dissgustingg t1_jb69pvd wrote

He did mention that he’s had sex before though, not regularly. Also you would surprised at how many girls don’t learn how to give good head, most of them think they’re doing well bc their partner is too afraid to tell them they need some practice… or they just don’t like doing it at all. P.S. I don’t think any woman wants to hear ‘it’s my fist time’.

10

MooCowCrusader t1_jb3a2o9 wrote

In regards to the people saying "ghosted", don't lose hope yet. I honestly wouldn't consider it being ghosted until a full week passes.

Also - don't spam her with texts. Give her some time to digest (lol), and if you want to text her again, do it as a last resort after at least a week. When you do (if she hasn't texted you back at that point), apologize once more for how things ended last time, explain that you enjoyed and valued her company and you'd like to see her again, but totally understand if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings. Then if she doesn't respond just let it go.

810

GiraffeyManatee t1_jb5gaem wrote

Send flowers with a short, handwritten apology. A text isn’t enough in this situation

−239

1LizardWizard t1_jb5xgbr wrote

Lol redditors need to go outside more often goddamn. This is embarrassing, a faux pas, and probably uncomfortable for both. Nothing some straightforward honesty can’t fix. And if it can’t fix it, then frankly it’s a bullet dodged. Emotionally mature adults can move past awkward sexual mistakes especially if they had an understanding that OP is not experienced. “Sorry I came way too quickly and without warning” flowers are not the apology you think they are.

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VictosVertex t1_jb61vwp wrote

Agree, people on reddit seem to watch too many romcoms. That's not how real life is at all.

Bringing flowers and a blown up apology because sex got more messy than expected is absolutely out of proportion.

Like I don't even see how this is remotely a big deal. Worse things happened to me and while they were embarrassing at the time not a single instance was a deal breaker.

If someone leaves you because sex got messy then be glad they're gone. Not only would they be boring in bed, they're just not mature enough for a proper relationship between adults.

Shit happens, sometimes even literally, in this case just figuratively but it's no big deal either way.

He could basically just say sorry for the mess and even state that he didn't expect ot to be that good because his experiences were different.

If she's mature enough (and enjoyed the rest of the date of course) then this will be nothing but a funny story to laugh about years later.

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1LizardWizard t1_jb6c8cr wrote

Seriously. I can’t say I’ve had this specific experience, but as you say, we’ve all had awkward and embarrassing experiences—that’s part of life. Anyone who’s ever had sex consistently knows it can be sticky, smelly, and sweaty.

I recall reading a study a while back that humans in states of sexual arousal are substantially less sensitive to unpleasant odors, gore, and a couple other categories. The theory being that sex is a pretty gross thing naturally, so our brains compensate with endorphins.

I hope everything works out, but if making your partner cum too quickly is a dealbreaker that’s just mad shallow. If I were the woman, I think I’d just be more proud than anything else.

4

cyankitten t1_jb64vcy wrote

I can imagine that being written on the florist card OMG!

5

xauntiebearx t1_jb6gl1c wrote

"Sorry for the surprise squirt, here's an apology spray."

2

robertdahlman t1_jb3g14g wrote

It was the foreplay, and i mean since the initial conversation about not being able to finish. In all that time, both of you are anticipating the next encounter. She was excited that she had a challenge and a long weekend to accomplish it. You were excited that such a cutie could have such a naughty goal. The anticipation was too much and you came.

Tell her that.

Godspeed

658

jap_the_cool t1_jb5bpoj wrote

This.

She wanted you to come - and you should just had let it happen. I mean normally girls know when a guy is about to finish - especially when giving head - so she should have seen it cumming (pun intended).

Don’t stress yourself out - sex is super dirty sometimes and some cum on some clothes/hair etc is nothing new to her probably.

That she had to puke because you shot it into her throat is a bad thing that happened but your overreaction in apologizing etc is maybe even worse… idk but I think she’s not uninterested in you because of this whole story.

IMO you two are gonna have a lot more fun, just take it easy man

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MissAnthropoid t1_jb5fn5y wrote

No no no - nobody expects or wants you to cum after only three bobs of the head, with no warning and no prior discussion, into their mouth and all over them. She wanted to have sex and get off also, and then she didn't. "Something came up" and she left. Does that sound like somebody who "wanted" a jizzy mess?

OP don't listen to this guy. She definitely didn't want that. But it's possible she would understand, forgive, have a laugh about it with you, and give you another chance.

168

VicePrincipalNero t1_jb5kesi wrote

If course neither of them wanted it to play out that way, but stuff happens unintentionally. He's not experienced. IMO, what usually happens in this kind of situation is the guy says he's sorry and didn't mean for it to happen, but he then focuses on her enjoyment for a while. Then he's ready for round 2. It's not that she runs off to the bathroom for an hour.

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cyankitten t1_jb657xc wrote

Actually OP that’s a really good idea. Maybe promise her a round 2 but you don’t get to cum till she does and pleasure her in other ways. When she’s had some fun it’s your turn. That might make up for it maybe!

5

MissAnthropoid t1_jb66fbt wrote

If she didn't want a mouthful of jizz and for her sexy outfit to be covered in jizz, it's totally understandable that she cleaned herself up and left. "What usually happens" when you break the trust of a brand new partner by doing something like that without any warning or prior agreement is that she isn't into it any more and wants to leave, and probably not come back for more. Which is exactly what happened here.

That doesn't mean it's not salvageable, he's just going to have to work pretty hard to rebuild that trust if he ever wants a "round 2". And he's going to have to sincerely apologize for the unexpected jizzy surprise and tell her the honest truth about why he thought he wouldn't immediately cum as soon as she paid a little attention to his knob.

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jameeler91 t1_jb68pqg wrote

OP didn’t “break her trust”. It was accidental. Saying he broke her trust would suggest he intended to prematurely ejaculate. Except he didn’t mean to.

6

MissAnthropoid t1_jb6bivo wrote

She can't know that it was accidental. Even if he says so, it's reasonable to have doubts given that men are notorious for intentionally evading sexual consent, lying to get laid, and doing fucked up things like stealthing to maximize their sexual gratification at their partners' expense.

And she ended the encounter and left and is not responding to messages. Is that what trust looks like to you?

−2

ilikecollarbones_pm t1_jb6cotg wrote

> She can't know that it was accidental.

yeah loads of guys want to and deliberately cum after 2 seconds of a blowjob. get real.

how about the more likely scenario that after being told he could go for hours she was turned off, thinks he's a loser who can't satisfy her and has no interest in seeing him again.

4

itsjustmefortoday t1_jb6cgqp wrote

I would think if she was thay uncomfortable with a man finishing in her mouth she would have talked about it in advance. Probably it took her by surprise.

0

MissAnthropoid t1_jb6dmau wrote

No, that's absolutely wrong. You should always assume women DON'T want a surprise mouthful of jizz unless they've explicitly told you otherwise. If you haven't discussed it, at least give a little warning so they can decide for themselves in the moment.

2

itsjustmefortoday t1_jb6n7cx wrote

I guess it's a very personal thing. What might seem completely normal to one individual might not to another. It could be she's embarrassed by gagging and running to the bathroom and doesn't know how to address it. Or it's possible that she doesn't like a man finishing in her mouth and feels uncomfortable. Only the lady involved knows the answer unfortunately. I just hope she answers the OP whether or not she wants to see him again. To ghost someone over a sex act that didn't go to plan wouldn't be very nice. Even if she doesn't want to see him again that's all she needs to tell him.

1

NickDiVittorio t1_jb66hq1 wrote

Her reaction to this and her “casual approach to the topic of sex” seem a little incongruent haha. Sex is supposed to be fun and a little nasty, something so non malicious like this accident happening and her acting totally shocked from someone cumming in her mouth I don’t know man I wouldn’t be beating yourself up if this doesn’t work out there’s better out there

−4

MissAnthropoid t1_jb67nde wrote

Go to TwoX and see what most women actually think about men cumming in their mouths without any warning or prior discussion please.

She doesn't know it was non-malicious. How could she possibly know that? He claimed he could go for hours and then came all over her almost immediately, without any prior discussion or warning. He broke her trust and it turned her all the way off. It's totally predictable, not "incongruous".

BTW sex is not "supposed to be nasty". You need to talk to your partners about what they actually want and watch less porn.

1

thejimbo56 t1_jb6f55k wrote

Please don’t recommend that people go to TwoX, that place is a toxic hellhole.

There are plenty of other ways to reinforce your point.

−1

MissAnthropoid t1_jb6g0kr wrote

Ok if you're only receptive to men's opinions on women's sexuality and don't want to hear it from women, here's another source that you won't find so "toxic".

https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/444_ejaculation-etiquette.html

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thejimbo56 t1_jb6gf2z wrote

I’m very receptive to women’s opinions.

I’m not receptive to toxic cesspools.

−1

MissAnthropoid t1_jb6hkfk wrote

But you're literally on Reddit right now though. 🤔

2

thejimbo56 t1_jb6u286 wrote

Yes, and TwoX is r/Conservative for feminists. It’s an echo chamber filled with only the most extreme viewpoints. No nuance is acceptable, everything is black and white.

The fact that you recommend it tells me pretty much everything I need to know about you.

−1

NickDiVittorio t1_jb67rig wrote

I think what you need is to lighten up haha

−4

MissAnthropoid t1_jb6borx wrote

I see you would rather not know what women really think of an unexpected mouthful of jizz. 🚩🚩🚩

4

NickDiVittorio t1_jb6f2hn wrote

Any one persons opinion is skewed by their experience so that’s what I’m giving this guy advice from instead of pretending to be the sexual thought police haha. So with that said;

I know what women really think about an unexpected mouthful of jizz. Because although it would be convenient for your own personal narrative that I fit into whatever strange Frankenstein of poor traits you like to assume men to be so you can dismiss them, uh I don’t haha. I’m happily engaged, I rarely watch porn anymore, I’ve had many long term and short term relationships, I’ve been in polyamorous relationships and I always talk to my partners about preferences. But not for this weird line of thinking you seem to have that cumming in someone’s mouth unexpectedly is borderline sexual assault, but because sex is supposed to be fun like I said before. And for it to be fun everyone involved should feel heard and excited and safe.

That’s where your line of thinking seems to hit a wall. You say you want all those prerequisites too but you don’t actually. You only want them for the side that you relate most too. Because what you’re failing to see is that these rigid borders you’re putting on for sex to acceptable does not make men feel safe. It makes them feel like they’re one good blow job away from being a sex offender. I understand that women have had it bad in the past. I understand the trauma of rape more so than your narrow paradigm would let you associate to me because of my sex. But we’re swinging the damn pendulum back to far the other way. It’s not a coincidence women of my generation when polled consistently wish men would approach them more, and make more first moves. You’ve all got them scared shitless haha. Why can’t we bring the pendulum softly back to the middle together instead of constantly kicking it as hard as we can because the past was worse than the present (isn’t that kind of what progress is?).

So back to the real task at hand, of my 30ish I’m guessing sample size I have never met anyone that would react this way. It seems a bit over the top and not indicative of someone who’s very experienced (not a problem) or understanding. I’ve been with partners who didn’t like it one specific memory was a friend of mine with who I had sex causally from time to time and I did this same thing once I just got too excited and I came faster than I could give proper warning. She spit it out said GROSS and we laughed. And to address the sex isn’t supposed to be nasty comment, uh it’s nasty by design haha. We’re exchanging bodily fluids, we’re putting our mouth in and on each others genitals and anus’. How is that not nasty? I mean theres a whole specific avenue of disease and infection just specifically from these acts haha how is that not nasty?

So, if you got this far haha I’d like to offer you a counter thought experiment. If the roles were reversed and he was performing oral on one of those glorious woman who can ejaculate, and she cums and it gets in his mouth (which of course it would) and he got up and seemed totally disgusted and made her feel ashamed and then ignored her…would you be reacting the same way? Or would you say he’s acting immature, and you shouldn’t feel shame for orgasming?

−1

MissAnthropoid t1_jb6ge12 wrote

https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/444_ejaculation-etiquette.html

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NickDiVittorio t1_jb6gldn wrote

Looks like you didn’t come here for thoughtful debate after all haha

1

MissAnthropoid t1_jb6he07 wrote

I didn't come here to read an endless novel about some random dude's armchair expertise in female sexual psychology, that's for sure.

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jap_the_cool t1_jb5il8y wrote

I must admit that I misread the initial text as she gave him head and there where three special bobs (I thought maybe deepthroating ?) and then he came…

I mean they had lots of foreplay - if he didn’t jerk off that day that’s kinda not too uncommon for a guy who gets head. And he wanted to cum too… don’t forget that.

−13

MissAnthropoid t1_jb66q18 wrote

Whatever. Just don't unload into anybody's mouth without any warning unless you've discussed it beforehand and know that they're enthusiastically into that kind of thing.

3

fenbekus t1_jb5gpc3 wrote

I mean he was a virgin, hard to expect anything else from a person with literally 0 experience.

−15

KingGram t1_jb5j4rg wrote

No, he wasn't a virgin, he just couldn't cum in the past because he kept jerking it too much

25

linerva t1_jb6prvi wrote

>I mean normally girls know when a guy is about to finish - especially when giving head - so she should have seen it cumming (pun intended).

Women aren't psychic - they don't know if you're about to climax unless you're giving them signals that you're getting close to climax. A lot of guys are more subtle about the signs, and sometimes you can't feel it physically in your partner until it's too late. Next time, try not to rush the experience, and encourage your partner to go a bit more slowly at first and then you get a better chance to warn them before you're literally split seconds from climaxing. But this is all experience that you have to gain the hard way. No pun intended.

Now, I don't think a partner climaxing a bit sooner than expected is a big deal, usually - but everyone is different and it may have been a big deal for her.

For many people, it's an occupational hazard of dealing with someone's genitals. BUT ideally you should warn a partner in the run up to climaxing so they can deal with the 'stuff' as they see fit.

Perhaps she hadn't wanted to get spunk all over her, or perhaps she had intended to spit it out? Either way, it looks like she was a little surprised. She could have other issues we don't lnow about. Perhaps SHE's not very experienced in giving head - when done right, it's a dance between working someone slowly up to climax, and not letting them come TOO early, and when done right you can draw it out for everyone's enjoyment. You never start hard and fast immediately - it's best worked up to.

Next time he should make sure to finish off his lady friend BEFORE she goes anywhere near his penis. Given many women can climax more than once without a refractory period, there's nothing to be lost by dealing with her first - and then you don't get an awkward 'well, I finished but she didn't" - which to be fair I'm sure he would have done if she hadn't run to the bathroom.

3

camdalfthegreat t1_jb65j2d wrote

This is my thought here.

I don't really know why the freak out and leave. You shouldn't put a willy in your mouth if you aren't prepared for the "repercussions" lol

It kind of irritates me she just left, that's pretty cold to the guy who ALSO was in a sensitive/emotional situation. And then to lie about it and say "something came up"

0

Apprehensive_Age_775 t1_jb6ov9z wrote

After the breakup from my First GF after 4 years er fucked for Like half a year regulary. Then stopped cuz emotional. Some time later i told her (we talked about Everthing because yeah WE broke Up but soulmates are soulmates) later i cant Finish with Others Girls, her First Instinct was To fuck me and proove that she was the one WHO can Finish me in a sexual and a non Mortal Combat way or maybe both idr we both we're Young, horny and a bit crazy.

1

AcrobaticSource3 t1_jb1oolt wrote

> she said something came up

Actually it sounds like something came down...her throat

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Somamang t1_jb2cp01 wrote

I hope you explained what that something was haha. Guys usually give warning shouting something like, “fire in the hole!” Well, at least that’s what I do

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PabloEscobro t1_jb32vab wrote

I think if I said “fire in the hole!” it would also result in her leaving and ghosting me haha

47

Mission-Practice-309 t1_jb3ulu5 wrote

I….idk if that’s normal now. I mean, guys usually warn me but “fire in the hole” would crack me up so hard.

15

SSNs4evr t1_jb3vomz wrote

You could do Cleveland, from Family Guy.....in a completely unexitedly monotone voice, say "and boom goes the dynamite."

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Rulyon t1_jb5u94g wrote

Followed by “oh, that is nasty.”

6

RabidWolf-1 t1_jb5a89e wrote

I’ve always said to tap me before like on the head or something…

4

Exciting_Telephone65 t1_jb2eplr wrote

Sorry to hear about it, hope you manage to rescue this somehow. But it was also really funny 😂

Hope we see an update sometime in the future.

161

rogan1990 t1_jb3hjr7 wrote

This is not the end of the world. A girl gave you head, you came in her mouth without warning. She’s probably not overly mad about it. But next time, give her a little courtesy warning

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Zikkan1 t1_jb3yg9f wrote

I never understood why people develop death grip, to me gripping harder doesn't feel better.

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GarlickNyaan t1_jb5nova wrote

My previous bfs always wanted a stronger grip, so when I ended up with my current bf I continued with the stronger grip… only to find out that is NOT what he likes.

At least he communicated it, and I was able to adjust accordingly lmao

36

Tankyenough t1_jb62rc5 wrote

I’d say it’s a specific grip more than a strong grip, strong in certain parts which the person has got used to but loose at others. The problem with that is, the person has kind of ”moulded” his hand to what is seemingly the perfect shape, but of course a vagina isn’t that shape ever. And another person’s hand can’t possible achieve the shape he has perfected haha.. :D

I suffered from death grip for a long time and the only thing that really helped was simply masturbating less often and putting restrictions to myself, accompanied with long foreplays.

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GarlickNyaan t1_jb63kxw wrote

That makes sense! Glad you figured out a way that works for you, longer foreplay is definitely something that gets overlooked, despite how important it can rly be for either/both partners

2

Foxanard t1_jb5bdcu wrote

Same. In fact, harder grip is much less pleasureful to me than relaxed one.

3

-PinkPower- t1_jb69lis wrote

Apparently it’s more common with people that are circumcised.

1

[deleted] t1_jb4q6g1 wrote

Circumcision

−9

_-Aiden-_ t1_jb5g81l wrote

I’m circumcised and I treat my cock with love and care

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[deleted] t1_jb5gygg wrote

That’s nice, but a big reason the -death grip- exists is because of decreased sensitivity due to circumcision.

−21

Zikkan1 t1_jb5i3e8 wrote

What does circumcision has to do with the grip? I at least do not grip the head, just the shaft so why would that change anything?

12

[deleted] t1_jb5jjsn wrote

You’re confused as to why reducing the number of nerves on the pleasure center of the penis would lead to requiring increased pressure/effort? Google it yourself. I’m not having this argument with you when you’re clearly dishonest or grossly uninformed.

−13

Zikkan1 t1_jb5lfpb wrote

What I don't understand is why increased grip would change it when the area you grip is not the area that is effected by the circumcision. Not sure what I have said is dishonest..

9

Noviante t1_jb5q55w wrote

Don’t worry, there’s this VERY weird segment of Reddit that’s militantly anti-circumcision and they routinely find threads like this and brigade them in bad faith

8

lxxTBonexxl t1_jb60yqt wrote

They all spew the same myths about it too like they’re not the uninformed ones. The pros/cons are so minor that’s it’s basically convenience and/or cosmetic. There’s nothing wrong with either and the anti-circumcision crowd usually gets up-in-arms about it.

The only one I don’t agree with is when it is as tight as it can get. That to me is effecting your child’s sex life and general comfort without their consent.

Basically if you leave some skin it’s perfectly fine, it’s when they remove as much as possible that it’s an issue. I feel like people act like they go at the thing with a pair of safety scissors and hope it looks okay later on

4

[deleted] t1_jb5lok0 wrote

Let’s go with uninformed then. Have a nice day.

−14

IraqiWalker t1_jb5xj6l wrote

That is what you are. At least you figured out the issue. Hopefully after some introspection and learning basic anatomy you'll be better. I won't hold my breath.

5

IraqiWalker t1_jb5xdwf wrote

I'll take nonsense for 500 Alex.

Dude, you do understand the death grip is not on the tip of the penis, right?

Also, and I hate to break it to you, but there aren't enough nerve endings in the foreskin to impact sensitivity, and definitely not to the degree you're fantasizing.

4

[deleted] t1_jb5yxxf wrote

The foreskin contains neural structures responsible for somatic sense and provides further stimulation of the glans when it slides over. Nice try.

0

IraqiWalker t1_jb5zzo9 wrote

The glans is stimulated the foreskin sliding over it whether or not the foreskin has nerves, doofus.

That's why other things stimulate it too, like lips, fingers, and virtually everything on the planet including a summer breeze.

The foreskin has so few nerves in it that removing it doesn't impact pleasure reception or sensitivity. As such, that's not why people use a "deathgrip".

I have no problem with people campaigning against circumcision, but if you don't even understand the basics and make outlandish claims that wouldn't work in a 4th grade bio class, I'm going to call you out.

5

[deleted] t1_jb61f7x wrote

You don’t even understand how the syntax and semantics of the English language work (or you purposely misrepresented my post) so why would I bother arguing further? Adios.

0

IraqiWalker t1_jb62jpr wrote

No, I explained the idiocy of you argument. Because the entire cruz of it is that the foreskin's nerves contribute to pleasure and the lack of them is what forces people to overcompensate with death grips. Which is a categorically stupid point when you look at the dirth of nerves in the foreskin.

The change due to removal of the foreskin is almost negligible.

So don't try and hide behind some made up fantasy about syntax, when in reality you don't have an actual retort and are looking for a way to save face because your understanding of anatomy and biology is flawed at best.

EDIT: and this is all before we even get into the fact that you don't even know what types of nerves are in there, cuz I can massage your head for a while, but you're not going to orgasm from that, are you?

Different sensory nerves exist for different jobs. The foreskin being a protective layer for the punishment doesn't actually have a lot of pleasure nerves in it.

3

[deleted] t1_jb647rj wrote

Okay, I’ll bite. What type of nerves are in the foreskin, Dr. IraqiWalker, master of straw men?

0

IraqiWalker t1_jb64upe wrote

Never made a strawman argument here. As for what nerves are in the foreskin I'm going to ask you a simple question:

Would you rather the layer of skin protecting your sensitive organ make you orgasm/hurt as much as when being hit at that organ (thus rendering rhe protection meaningless) or not?

If you answer that question, you'll know what kind of nerves there are in there.

2

[deleted] t1_jb67ymy wrote

You don’t know, gotcha.

0

IraqiWalker t1_jb69vw2 wrote

Wow, I guess it's true what they say about bringing a horse to water.

You legitimately couldn't figure it out? It doesn't have free nerve endings like the glans. It has some nociceptors, definitely some mechanoreceptors, and thermoreceptors.

When you don't understand the basic fundamentals of the discussion, it would behoove you not to present your beliefs as facts.

The foreskin rubbing against the glans would generate stimulation and pleasure regardless of whether or not any nerves are in it.

However, that has absolutely nothing to do with the deathgrip argument, because no one is death gripping their glans, they're gripping the shaft. The part that is not affected by circumcision at all.

2

IraqiWalker t1_jb5xm1z wrote

Not even close. You're about 73 zip codes off the mark.

1

petiepablo888 t1_jb4vye8 wrote

“Literally you’re so hot I didn’t see it coming.” (Ba dun chhhh)

Man… I feel like being honest here would be the move.

If you get a chance to talk to her in person Try to explain that you’ve had these issues, and spin it in a way that she gave you confidence that you aren’t broken.

And if things don’t work out, count this as a win. Because now you know you can finish with a girl. And you have a new standard to work with.

63

FourFoxMusic t1_jb5djkf wrote

Ehm. You told a girl that it takes a lot for you to finish then you came rly hard the second she gave you a blowjob.

She probably thinks you’re a big talker.

54

Candymanshook t1_jb5xs38 wrote

This. Probably would have kept this one on the DL. Also, always have a pre-wank before the first time with someone new.

10

lightofyourlifehere t1_jb68wrn wrote

That's the uphill battle op has now. There are so many guys who talk such a big game when it comes to sex, only to bring nothing to the table. That's what she is probably thinking this is.

6

thedeadlysquirle t1_jb6afpy wrote

Without warning too, which can definitely make it seem like he was trying to cum inside her without her explicit consent as well. Whether that's the case here or not, that's exactly what ended up happening.

6

TheLurkingMenace t1_jb3nog2 wrote

Another way of looking at it is that she's now convinced that she gives world class head and is going to be riding that high for at least a week.

53

tonehponeh t1_jb2u0v9 wrote

Jesus man this one is rough i dont even have any advice for you thats just straight up rough

35

miassecret t1_jb2hzsc wrote

Beat it like it owes you money! OMG, priceless. Thank you for that bit of levity. If you accept a bare penis into your mouth you have accepted any and ALL risks of explosion. I mean in theory what did she think would happen? FAFO

28

NeuroticLoofah t1_jb3jqi8 wrote

>Beat it like it owes you money! OMG, priceless. Thank you for that bit of levity. If you accept a bare penis into your mouth you have accepted any and ALL risks of explosion. I mean in theory what did she think would happen? FAFO

It is absolutely not OK to cum in someone's mouth without warning. It is terrible and shows a huge lack of respect. I imagine you don't get many repeat blow jobs.

−8

awry_lynx t1_jb5agww wrote

The heavy downvotes on this are hella gross. I can't imagine thinking well of a guy that doesn't give warning and can't really imagine the downvoter's perspective. If I'm happily making out with someone that doesn't mean I want them to hock a gob of spit in my mouth, even though spit is a normal byproduct of making out.

10

NeuroticLoofah t1_jb5k2rv wrote

Downvotes don't bother me, this is a hill I will die on. It is like being waterboarded with slime (and I have no problems with swallowing as long as it is expected).

When I got the alert for your comment, I was in a thread discussing the rising rate of women who are refusing to have sex with men. The two women I know that are celebate are not so because of abortion access or anything, it's because they are tired of men putting his pleasure before her comfort.

3

awry_lynx t1_jb5n8ta wrote

Naw not saying it should bother you but just saying it bothers me that people disagree with it at all, I guess? Like I don't care about being booed but if we're out here like "don't cum in our mouths unexpectedly" and getting booed I'm like "whaaat is happening".

So yeah.

5

EverythingIzAwful t1_jb5tav7 wrote

The only people who would downvote this take are virgins who watch too much shitty porn. Every one of ya'll are gonna get ghosted for doing this if you ever even get the chance and you're going to deserve it.

6

miassecret t1_jb77bxl wrote

I don’t get repeat bj’s?! Or OP doesn’t?? Absolutely I do not cause I don’t have a peen!!!

Maybe we should all remember that it takes two to tango. And if you don’t want something to happen, like cum in your mouth or unprotected sex that is why you talk about it ahead of time. Why is no one talking about the fact that if she had a problem with this, there should be a discussion the same discussion you have with having unprotected sex ? Who goes bare like that? Highly irresponsible! If there had been a condom here we would not be having this discussion just saying

Same issue with traditional sex. You don’t think someone is going to put their penis in you without protection and possibly lose themselves and ejaculate? Come on folks, let’s act like grown ups and not like we are 18 years old idiots and don’t know how a penis works. I know full well that if I put my mouth around a penis, there is a possibility that “something might happen“ and if I don’t want that to happen, that penis is not going in my mouth. Period. A blow job is not “happily making out” and being spit on, for the love of God. I hope everybody knows here that a blow job is not “making out”. It is a sex act. A blow job should never be compared to KISSING 🤣

A good BJ made a man cum. NEWS AT 5!!!!!

2

ScionMattly t1_jb53xxk wrote

I mean if you've been on five dates and she's frank about sex, just tell her all this. I think it'll go a long way. you clearlened, you know why it happened, and you feel nothing but contrition for it. If you're clear about it and discuss it fully, I'm sure you'll be fine.

28

GLDFLCN t1_jb2l3rd wrote

Ghosted my guy, she thinks you’re all bark no bite now lol

27

FourFoxMusic t1_jb5dra7 wrote

Yeh, this. The OP spent time talking about his sexual performance that didn’t line up at all with the actual experience.

She probably feels lied to in order to get her into bed, or some similar feeling.

14

No_Love_1353 t1_jb1v48r wrote

Well. That’s certainly embarrassing, but it happens. Let us know how things go down with her?

25

got_that_dog_in_em t1_jb3qxhc wrote

lmfao best of luck. It happens. You've got some good advice.

7

thatguyiswierd t1_jb3mkbg wrote

Ah the old slob on the knob like corn on the cob some men can take it and some men have their soul sucked.

6

jordan3297 t1_jb65ibp wrote

Woman here..are men expected to give a warning when they're coming from head? Isn't that...expected? I've never gone down on my then boyfriend now husband and expected a "warning." I mean ..that is the whole point? All these comments saying to apologize, from a woman's perspective I just don't get it. I'd take it as a compliment and as long as you're willing to continue things, I'd continue.

6

Mirawenya t1_jbausag wrote

Yea, most definitely, and no, it shouldn’t be expected. Coming in the mouth is extra, lots of women hate the taste/texture of cum, and while bjs are super common, letting it go in her mouth isn’t, cause loads find it gross.

Edit: I’ll add that even if I’d be ok with it, a warning so it doesn’t choke me would definitely be appreciated.

3

timmeh129 t1_jb4ua63 wrote

thats fuckin funny my man, but if the girl is mature and smart she'll probably won't make a big deal out of it. I think any self-conscious adult should just laugh it off, unless she has some strong opinion against having semen in her mouth. Your excuse is how great she was anyways

5

jbaugh6115 t1_jb59trq wrote

tell her it was just a spooky ghost, nothing to see here

5

VicePrincipalNero t1_jb5jho5 wrote

I don't think you did anything wrong. Our bodies react sometimes in ways we don't expect. She sounds a little immature/inexperienced not to know that guys don't always know when they are going to come, and if she likes giving BJs, what happened was a possibility.

One of the keys to good sex is communication. It's awkward until you get used to it but you need to learn how to power through the awkwardness. Talking about it at a time when you aren't doing anything sexual is the way to go. I would try to see her and talk it over. Tell her you didn't intend for things to go the way they did, that you like her a lot and hope she is willing to continue seeing you. Don't drag your friends into it, it's private.

5

BigFuckHead_ t1_jb5u2wt wrote

Brother you can recover from this. Compliment her skills, say that you had never experienced anything that incredible, and apologize profusely. With any luck, you two will laugh about this in a couple weeks. Don't lose hope! She may feel embarrassed too.

5

BBBaggins504 t1_jb59s6d wrote

Was this your first time getting head? If so just tell her that, if she's cool she'll understand if not then she wasn't as great as you thought she was. You apologized for your mess if she's still ghosting you gotta let her go bro. If that's the case i hope you find someone that is truly understanding and can lay next to you with a mouth full of your load and laugh at the experience that you two just shared. Good luck

4

Swizdog t1_jb5f2h8 wrote

I didn't see that coming. Neither did she

4

OhItsJustAPony t1_jb5kcfs wrote

Just call her the thoat goat, and she'll forgive you.

4

kxcmb t1_jb5tisy wrote

As much as I hate to admit it, I would totally forgive someone if they called me a throat goat

6

NickDiVittorio t1_jb668ha wrote

Her reaction to this and her “casual approach to the topic of sex” seem a little incongruent haha. Sex is supposed to be fun and a little nasty, something so non malicious like this accident happening and her acting totally shocked from someone cumming in her mouth I don’t know man I wouldn’t be beating yourself up if this doesn’t work out there’s better out there

4

[deleted] t1_jb4qatx wrote

I don’t really see how someone could be mad about that, tbh.

Source: have given a few bjs in my life.

3

mpm19958 t1_jb56b3s wrote

Dude shit happens. You had a weird sexual experience. The list is long of men and women who did. Give her some space. If it was meant to be it you both will figure it out.

3

rcolt88 t1_jb5d2wi wrote

Never mind the sensitivity part You made such a rookie mistake. You over promised and underdelivered. When you set the bar that high you are sure to fail. Set the bar low next time and exceed expectations

3

Guelph35 t1_jb5wnh4 wrote

This is why you always fire a warning shot before engaging in battle

3

headedtothetrash123 t1_jb5wqvy wrote

I think the weird part here is that she spent half an hour in the bathroom. Was she legit puking? If so, you should have been in there comforting her. That's probably why she's pissed.

But I mean why give a bj if a little bit if cum makes you throw up? She had to know at some point he was likely to cum.

To the OP, I assume she knows about your lack of experience? If so, use that as your excuse. Tell her you've never had a bj before and it caught you off guard how fast you came. I mean if she doesn't understand that, then there's not much you can do. I definitely wouldn't wait a week before sending her another text or calling her. Just call. This is a conversation that deserves a phone call not a text. Tell her you'd like to make it up to her with a meal and no sexual stuff. Just to hang out. Do something. But I disagree with people who said wait it out. If you do that, she probably thinks you don't care. Reach out again. Call and if she doesn't answer text and ask her if you can talk on the phone soon.

3

tlasan1 t1_jb2a1ah wrote

Ghosted mate :( sorry

2

BeSmartYeah t1_jb50vbx wrote

I’m not sure she’s going to be that mad about it I mean I am sure she’s done it before, but just curious, how you didn’t know that you were coming and pull out?

2

LotsInterestsNoTime t1_jb57vnn wrote

I have the same "problem" too, but it depends on the season. There is times that took me like 2, 3 hours to finish (almost allways with my hand), to the point where it start hurting. And there's seasons where i can finish in 30 minutes, in other hand it have occuried 3 times where i finished in like 2 or 3 rides... Don't know wtf is going on to me but i like my performance in sex, i'm 29.
Anyway, does she are mad at you just because you came and don't tell her? Idk it sounds over reacted, anyway, i hope you can fix things with your girl. And hope you can keep having sex

1

OutArcticFoxed t1_jb59a1e wrote

The subtle John Mulaney reference is well done

1

Main_Objective7039 t1_jb5egk1 wrote

We call that Gluck Gluck 36000 with the thundertwist super grip vacuum neck

1

nutmegtell t1_jb5hjdf wrote

Maybe offer to make her go first rather than just come and go.

1

Cosmic_Barman t1_jb5ndvn wrote

This sounds like a scene from an American Pie movie

1

Dookie_-_Monster t1_jb5swqe wrote

Look man sex is pretty much just a massive disappointment all around, don't feel too bad about it 🤷 everybody lies, nobody actually loves anybody else, just stay in and watch porn

1

this_is_awkward_912 t1_jb5vych wrote

Listen, it’s cool it happened early but you really should be taking more control if the conversation was never had about okay places to blow your load. She might be feeling like you did that intentionally because people are predatory and will do this. Instead of freaking out, give her space and when she speaks to you listen to her and understand what upset her instead of assuming you know the problem.

1

tunseeker1 t1_jb5z7p1 wrote

You can never trust that first nut. It sneaks out and ruins the night. Always show that nut the exit before the date.

1

[deleted] t1_jb617s4 wrote

Just tell here your sorry for being a 3 pump chump...

1

nightabyss2 t1_jb627bs wrote

My god I’m sorry that happened, what an uncomfortable read.

Don’t get too in your head about ejaculating early. It happens to all men at some point in their life.

Try to be more vocal next time to avoid the surprise she got but in all honesty if she really liked you it wouldn’t be a big deal at all.

Also pro tip, if you’re very excited for a planned date rub one out a few hours before you think you’ll be getting into bed with her.

You’ll last as long as you need to. Good luck champ.

1

xJam3zz07 t1_jb62k1x wrote

I'm not sure what i was expecting from the title, but this definitely wasn't it.

I'm not sure what I was expecting from the title, but this definitely wasn't it.thing, see if your able to have a bit of a conversation with her & ask if you can speak in person, explain what happened etc.
It seems you were both excited about what was happening, and she probably didn't expect it, she might be embarrassed? I imagine you're also a bit embarrassed.

I hope everything works out & you can both laugh about this in the future!

Also, going to request an update as some others have.

1

Kasaeru t1_jb63yu6 wrote

As a fellow sufferer of DGS, what else aside from the fleshlight helped? Sex feels so amazing but it's frustrating as hell that I can't finish.

1

cyankitten t1_jb66zd8 wrote

OK so this is sort of based on what VicePrincipalNero said Well, maybe she was expecting a long dirty weekend with lots of sex and was a bit disappointed it was over so quickly esp as you talked it up (cos you thought it would take time) so yeah next time definitely focus on getting her off first. Hope she forgives you.

1

ShiftyShellector t1_jbi8w14 wrote

My god, can we get an update on of she's text you back?

1

[deleted] t1_jb569g1 wrote

I don’t see the big deal- if you’re sucking dick you shouldn’t be surprised if he Cuna in your mouth. I was hoping she puked after- but lol!

She’s probably just as embarrassed as you.

0

[deleted] t1_jb6075b wrote

[deleted]

0

Mirawenya t1_jbavydi wrote

Lots more women enjoy giving bjs than enjoy tasting cum. Yes, cumming is part of bj, but a warning is definitely expected. Even if I’d enjoy him coming in my mouth, I’d require a warning so I don’t choke/get it in the wrong pipe. Is this some sorta view <30 year olds have developed cause of porn?

1

Raii-v2 t1_jb57m68 wrote

Try not to apologize for your own pleasure. You shouldnt feel guilty because of it. Try and warn her a little earlier next time and if you can’t hold her off, just take it back until you cool off a bit.

−1

yumirow t1_jb4tc6y wrote

Why are you apologising again ?

−3

jonmarcwillis t1_jb4son4 wrote

Am i the only one who doesn't get the issue? Anytime i've gotten a BJ, if i don't bust in the girls mouth, they probably would think something was wrong. Isn't that the point of head? To finish in the girls mouth? Then they spit or swallow? I don't get why shes so offended.

−7

Prophit84 t1_jb4v3yl wrote

> The topic of my staying power in bed came up, and when I told her I had never finished with a girl, she joked that our next date would have to be on a long weekend.

This was the problem

12

deltanine99 t1_jb3i5i5 wrote

To be fair, what does a girl expect is going to happen when she does that?

−10

Mission-Practice-309 t1_jb3uwoz wrote

We know it’s going to happen, but being warned is always nice. You don’t want to breathe in and choke lol

26

BeSmartYeah t1_jb50o6w wrote

Wrong, any decent guy warns that he’s coming….always. They should’ve had a discussion beforehand about what she wanted to do when he comes, but when they didn’t do that, you don’t assume you can shoot it down her throat.

11