As someone who has struggled with anger issues their entire life, I understand. The best analogy I've got for you is you're a can or bottle of soda. If something gets you worked up(shaken) it doesn't matter who does it. Whomever undoes that cap is the one getting soda all over them. That said, I know things might be tense right now, but do you think you could sit down and talk about it with your dad? I know the school won't want to hear it, but having someone to talk to really helps. If any of your friends ask, just tell them that you were stressed out, and she was the last straw and it wasn't personal.

Tough situation cause you don't want to be labeled a narc either, so you're stuck, which is what the antagonist is planning on.

Temper aside, the person was doing something to you that hurt and you didn't like. If someone does that, simply say "don't do x" loudly, drawing attention. If it's not painful, maybe best just to move away or ignore it. Hope that helps for the future.

Don't worry about it. Life is full of fuckups. You live with it. It passes.

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Your parents are aholes for not taking your side in this situation. You handled it properly. You asked her to stop, and she got rude and laughed at you. After that, it is what it is. I'd never punish my son for doing the right thing. Sometimes, the right thing is protecting yourself.

I hate my school

Nobody around me thinks that

Sorry, OP. It might not be much, but know that THIS father is proud of ya.

I dont condone violence usually but people like that deserve to be hit.

I regret not doing this. The trouble will fade the memory wont. Fuck that bitch.

You did the right thing, the girl took it physical first and needed to learn a lesson. Unfortunately schools have been pushing all this non-violence/zero tolerance nonsense so kids can't sort out their problems :(

it's ok. dumb bitch wont bother you again.

I honestly wish I'd had your level of guts at that age.

They say violence is not the answer to keep people in power safe (though it should obviously be the last resort as it can lead to an escalation of the problem as you have witnessed). Just know this girl won't kick your chair again and maybe she'll even learn not to bother other kids too. It's also a very good thing you learned this lesson now that you can get in trouble for violence as in the future the punishment for such actions are much much higher. Just make sure next time something like this happens, make sure you talk to the teacher or whoever your supervisor is (after telling them you will tell on them if they don't stop), so they at least know the situation and possibly even put a stop to it before you get physical.

the only fuck up was hers she fucked around and found out

Seconded. u/Madeline2535 took the mature approach to start and when it didn't work she stood up for herself and didn't take shit. I wish I had done a little more "not taking shit" in my teenage years.

Bully's deserve a punch. If you were my daughter I'd be telling you good job for standing up for yourself and that 'll handle the school admins.

I also was bullied at school. For such a quiet girl, I got really good at projecting my voice so EVERYONE heard me when some jackalope was bugging me. “STOP PULLING MY HAIR GILBERT!!” “GIVE ME BACK MY PENCIL RACHEL!” “STOP KICKING MY CHAIR KEITH!”

Thanks.

You were wrong to hit someone, but it was already physical. Don't worry about the rest.

I was wrong to hit her?

Ya my principal was all like ohh you got physical blah blah

Correct.

Well just be a happy you weren't arrested for assault and battery. As for the girl I doubt she'll ever screw with you again.

I read on here recently that "a whistling kettle never explodes." It sounded like a cool analogy and makes a lot of sense. Gotta always remember to talk through the anger when it starts building.

It seems like it'll never end but it will eventually. Sucks to say "just have to tough it out" but you'll make make it. I too hated school.

Good job, pat on the back from me.. if it were me and it was a guy I wouldve kicked him in the face.. but ive gotten in trouble for worse.. I also was made out to be the "one in the wrong" but the logic of just letting people fk with you without you fighting for yourself never made sense to me.. maybe something is wrong with me, or maybe theres something wrong with society, either way, I wont take shit lying down, and I applaud everyone that does the same.. people deserve to be taught that fking around with someone u dont know has consequences. Otherwise they'll grow up thinking is ok to mess with people their whole lives

There’s a lot of kids that try starting fights here

My father was fucking screaming at me.

Why? Should I have just let her keep kicking me

You know, I'm all about respecting thy elders. However, sometimes thy elders need to be brought back to earth. Why don't you try and sit with him and ask him what it is that he would have done differently, aside from begging, since the approach you took wasn't the correct one? Me, personally, I see no other way.

Next time get up, walk behind her chair, and Spartan Kick the shit out of it. Bonus points for yelling "THIS IS SPARTA" as you do it.

In school unfortunately you gotta snitch it's sad, but true.

It’s not an either or situation OP. There has to be some other solutions for you. Her kicking your chair is totally not okay. And while I understand how upsetting that is, you assaulted this person. As an adult and depending on what state you reside in, this is a felony and can be a minimum of 1 year in prison plus a charge on your record for a person to person crime. So, as you only received the suspension, you were kinda fortunate in that regard. We can argue all day about bullies (and believe me, it’s not okay and that it is allowed in schools despite them professing a no tolerance policy is abhorrent). It doesn’t mean that you have to sit and ‘take it’ either.

So let’s look at it. What other options did you have? Could you tell her to stop loudly to get attention from others/adults around you? Could you have gotten up from your chair and moved? Could you have gotten up and told the teacher you needed to be excused?

I think that the additional options you can think up will help you in future. I think it’s something to discuss with your dad and school admin as well. They need to provide you a safe ‘out’ so to speak. If you get up and move and get in trouble, I would think that your dad would be okay with that choice. It’s really important to talk about it. I know that there seems to be a lot of people advocating hitting this person, but they’re not speaking in your best interest. Neither do they volunteer to sit in jail for you or pay your legal fees if this happens again or when you’re older.

I know that no one wants to be the one to say this, and principals don't want to be the ones to hear it, but it's the truth: she started it.

No no no no no. You did not fuckup.

Fuck that.

I was bullied in school 20 years ago. It only stopped when I stopped being too nice.

Fuck that teacher for not noticing everything that went down before and not listening to you.

Yeah violence is wrong, but some people won't learn until they get some sense slapped into them.

There’s a lot of kids that like starting stuff at my school so I never really know when someone is gonna try messing with me.

I know that they have to follow protocol, but they often do so at the expense of common sense. Someone kicks your chair, refuses to stop when asked, and continues kicking while laughing at you for trying to stop them, and you're supposed to act like it doesn't bother you? Kudos to those who are able to, but I also don't blame the ones who literally strike back.

That said, you can't just go around kicking and punching your way through life. It sounds as though OP knows this, I just want to clarify that I'm not saying that you need to knock the teeth out of everyone who looks at you sideways. It's in your best interest to learn how to handle difficult people. In some situations, ignoring them does work, and you get to preserve yourself mentally and physically. Sometimes, you just have to keep your mouth shut and let them learn on their own. And if they never learn, then, well, sucks to be them.

Edited for a missing word

> “STOP PULLING MY HAIR GILBERT!!”

And then you broke your slate over his head.

Some people only learn when they get some sense slapped into them. "Fuck around and find out".

20 years ago I was bullied too. It stopped when I stopped being Mr Nice.

And no I didn't need violence ever after. Or ran into the law etc.

Were you given a chance to tell your side of the story? You said your teacher only saw what you did, so I was wondering if the principal gave you a chance to explain that this wasn't some random attack.

>So let’s look at it. What other options did you have? Could you tell her to stop loudly to get attention from others/adults around you? Could you have gotten up from your chair and moved? Could you have gotten up and told the teacher you needed to be excused?

This is good advice. I feel like schools should emphasize these strategies and be as specific about them as you were. The standard directive to tell the teacher is vague, and it's not always that simple. And nobody wants to be a snitch.

Even if you get in trouble for getting out of your seat, you might at least have a chance to explain why, and if you end up getting in trouble anyway, it won't be for getting physical.

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Don't worry about it, in 10-20 years you won't regret it anymore and you'll look back on it fondly. Trust.

Yup. Bullies generally comprehend one, and only one, form of communication.

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I told my principal what happened, but they still decided that I was wrong

I think there's some middle ground here. Don't use it as your first or only tool to resolve conflicts, because it's a pretty shitty tool and will only cause you all sorts of problems that will negatively affect pretty much every aspect of your life if you over-rely on it. Buuuuut sometimes it's an effective tool when all other reasonable means have been exhausted and it's used with restraint. I would be especially careful resorting to it at all if you're kind of a loner though, because it can sometimes lead to situations where cliques will gang up on you physically, and these kinds of things can spiral out of control. Ideally, though, you've now established some respect and boundaries with your rude classmates and you'll be left alone now that they know you'll get scrappy if pushed too far.

I have a good group of friends at school, but they don’t like getting physical lol

I mean, fair enough, to be honest lol. It's best to not make it habit either way, but hopefully you won't need it again now that your classmate has a fat lip

Luckily I didn’t break my hand hitting her lol

That's definitely better than the alternative!

I hate to say it, but some bullies only learn when you stand up and knock the shit out of them. Consider it a public service, just next time you do it make sure the action is worth the consequences. If you are gonna be suspended damn sure make those shots count.

Doesnt matter in todays schools where standing up for yourself is always wrong. Doesnt matter if there is REPEATED documented proof they are targeting you I went thru it with my son - special need autistic kid picked on daily and nothing. BUT as soon as he stands up and knocks a pos on thier ass, he is the "problem".

Best part about this TIFU is the fact that even though you're in trouble and you can't go out, your parents forgot to take away your ability to be on the internet. Just be glad your parents are nice enough to let you have that still. If it were me, I'd get a solid ass whooping with a side of revoked privileges even if my parents sided with me. Heh

Nice punch, don't make a habit of it but glad you made it count this time.

Proud of you, kiddo

Thanks I’ll try not to make it a habit lol. I can’t fucking stand some of these girls here. Part of me thinks I should’ve waited till after school and just found her outside but idk

Oof. Well, they do have a legal obligation to protect themselves and their students. They can't ignore someone getting a split lip in their care.

I empathize with you, though. I've been in your position (not the physical fight part), and it can be hard to know how to react in the moment. I hope you're never again in a situation where you feel like you have no other choice but to fight back.

Violence isn’t an appropriate response to someone being annoying

I know. I've been through it myself. Zero tolerance policies are garbage. I'm sorry your son keeps getting labelled. They really should be able to do more for him, and it's frustrating, especially when you do everything you're supposed to, like keeping documentation. I don't know what the solution is. :(

Really?

Yeah. If I punched someone at work in the face for being an ass and laughing at me, I’d get fired at best and charged with battery at worst.

You have obviously never witnessed the efficiency violence has when it comes to putting an immediate end to someone being annoying.

And your comment should be:

Violence isn't always the appropriate response to someone being annoying. Speaking in absolutes is both ignorant and naive.

Edit: after some thought, I've realized this isn't the approach to life I'd like to teach my kid. That might be fucked up. I mean, protect yourself and others with a good ass kicking if need be. But...yeah. you're right. We should talk things through more. Well. I still believe violence has an appropriate place in some situations. I do agree that it shouldn't be a go to in most cases. Not when you can walk away, or at least publicly shame them for being a turd.

battery would be middle of the line. if you punched them and they lost balance and hit their head hard enough when they fell, they could die. your worst in that scenario (which most people never consider, I'm not calling you out) is prison for manslaughter.

Sure. She kicked a chair and laughed. Is that the same as punching in the face? Is this how we want to teach young people to react when someone annoys them?

Perhaps this young person could advocate for themself and move their chair out of reach. Perhaps they could consult the teacher. There are many other things that this student could have tried, but because they feel overwhelmed, they jumped right to the last resort.

That is where the principal’s coming from. Was what the other kid did wrong? Yes. Was it suspendable? No. Fighting is.

Sure. She kicked a chair and laughed. Is that the same as punching in the face? Is this how we want to teach young people to react when someone annoys them?

Perhaps this young person could advocate for themself and move their chair out of reach. Perhaps they could consult the teacher. There are many other things that this student could have tried, but because they feel overwhelmed, they jumped right to the last resort.

That is where the principal’s coming from. Was what the other kid did wrong? Yes. Was it suspendable? No. Fighting is.

agreed. someone needed to teach that dumb kid some consequences for her actions. maybe next time she'll think twice before being an obnoxious test.

ahem. *twat. not test

oh definitely. if you do it off school grounds they shouldn't be able to do shit to you

I’m gonna try to keep that in mind if there’s any girls in the future

Maybe she should’ve left me alone

Agreed! But if she doesn’t, then getting yourself in trouble shouldn’t be your go to solution.

If she doesn’t leave you alone, there are other options. She was totally wrong (and a jerk) for laughing and kicking your chair. You were also wrong for punching her.

While I don't think you did the right thing here, everyone learned a lesson. Call it a small win. You seem to understand that it probably wasn't the right move to get physical, and the other party got a quick batch of fuck around and find out.

I'm not saying that violence is the answer, just that it matters who started it. Zero-tolerance treats all involved as equal perpetrators, and that's not always the case. It's important that the principal knows that she didn't start whaling on the other girl unprovoked.

Honestly, I sympathize a bit more with teachers and administrators now that I'm older. Their hands are fairly tied, and zero-tolerance policies don't help. They're often met with resistance from parents who are bullies themselves or who simply don't believe their child would ever behave that way. Sometimes the parents struggle with disciplining them at home. In-school issues don't always occur in isolation. It can be a layered thing. I just wish more could be done for those who are targeted.

And today you learned at school that "Revenge is a dish best served cold"

It's hard to keep your anger in check but in today's society//classroom you got to think about the consequences of your actions first rather than just react.

There's a difference between "violence is not an appropriate response" and "violence is not an effective response." Violence absolutely can be effective. That does not make it appropriate.

Feel the feeling, but don't become the emotion.

Been there, done that. Feel it, don’t let it consume you. Unfortunately people sometimes need to get smacked to learn a lesson. I’m glad you can defend yourself. You’re not the first kid getting into a fight. And most likely it won’t be your last. Next time try to wait until nobody else is seeing and make sure she doesn’t forget and you’ll never have to fight her again.

I threw a razor blade at someone in elementary school and you got 5 days out of school for hitting someone? Lucky...

You clearly never had to deal with bullies yourself. It’s not just kicking the chair. It’s everything, the constant behaviour, the laughter, the jokes. And sometimes you can’t take it anymore. And today nobody can give a snack to a kid to teach them a lesson. Saying there are other solutions is unrealistic and only someone who has never been bullied believes it. Do you know what teachers did when I complained about being bullied? They talked with the bully. And it would work for a couple of days. The first time I fought back and knocked out one of them, I became the "dont fuck with him guy". its not up to OP to educate the bully. But it is up to OP to not let people fuck with her. I dont go around hitting people now at work. because I can reason with them. As a kid, bullies didnt understand reason. they understood getting their asses kicked.

Good on you for standing up for yourself. Though its better to do it without violence, I reckon the other girl will think twice before playing childish games with people in the future.

I went the other way, I got an appointment to speak with the local media and they had a chat with the ISD on why special needs children were ok to target i their schools. Then I had a "personal" conversation with the Principle after a local football game. Real polite, real close, and very much invading his space. I simply said, I have ZERO issues with my child being suspended, but I will be very unhappy if the bully gets away with no punishment and showed him the dozens of videos of the little shit fucking with him. If you want zero tolerance then you best enforce it equally. Any time after that when ANYTHING happened with my child he would call me immediately.

As a parent we are willing to pay the price it takes to make sure our kids get a fair shake. Even if it means acting like an asshole to force the people who are supposed to be looking out for them to do their jobs.

Yes, you're in the penalty box, but she got what was coming for instigating. As the great comedian Bill Burr once said, "Even hockey gives you 2 for instigating."

Insane that you're being downvoted. Escalation to violence is an appropriate response to some things, but being annoying is definitely not one of them. It might be some people's first instinct but those people need to repress that urge and learn to either use their words, ignore it, or remove themselves from that situation.

Meh, play stupid games win stupid prizes. Good lesson for both of you. You definitely could have handled it better, but honestly I think it's pretty cool you didn't put up with her BS. I was bullied a lot in school, and some bullies just don't understand any other message.

As a general rule in life, it would be good to take the in-between step of talking to someone who can make that person stop before escalating to violence.

That being said, I’ve gone through high school and I know teachers may well not do anything to stop it.

In my experience staff or students stood up for me, and people only stopped fucking with me after I hurt someone badly enough. Since there was a clear paperwork trail of me complaining about that individual’s actions, I didn’t get any real punishment since it was clear the people responsible for stopping the escalation had failed in their duties.

The only thing you could have done better was warning that bitch with a loud voice so everyone could hear that she instigated first. Other than that she was totally deserve it.

If I were your brother, I'd give you a head pat for standing up for yourself. Violence may not be often the correct answer but it's always an option.

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Yes it is.

Because well all know how well using words and removing ourself from situations in school works.

OP should never have gotten in trouble.

Tell that the girl that offed herself cuz noone helped her in school when she got bullied for weeks and noone did a thing. Yes, violence fucking sucks but when it comes to schools these days you are either are prey because the only thing you do is use words or you are not because ppl know it will hurt when they fuck around with you. And ppl won't stop if you walk away or talk to them. I am not saying this is good but this is sadly how it is.

kicking the back of your chair doesn't count as physical? what do they think she was doing using the force

At least you made a point, and believe that the girl won t annoy you anymore

Soo you get 5 days off of school AND make some dickhead think twice about kicking your chair again? Awesome. This is the correct and final way to deal with bullies. I regret not smacking mine in the mouth sooner, it tends to work.

You're not wrong, but it's a realistic one. Winding someone up to the point they snap is on both people. You'd not get pissy at a dog for snapping because someone was pissing it off, people should be held accountable and be able to exercise better patience, but we all have breaking points and can only take so much. She was also in physical pain from it, that alone can make people lash out defensively. If you've never been so angry at someone trying to annoy you to the point of lashing out then you've lived a sheltered life and not been much of (if any) a victim of bullying behaviour. She couldn't easily remove herself from the situation without getting in trouble, teachers are notoriously shite at dealing with stuff like this, she asked the person to stop being a twat, they didn't they got twatted, that's on the person being a twat.

Always stand up to assholes and bullies strange thing is when you do they won’t bully you again as a bully only attack weakness. Sad the system won’t acknowledge this is needed response. You could not have reasoned with the girl behind you so you took action. You did not sit there and stew on it or play passive. People like you go far in life one day you will be hugely successful and chair kick girl will be working the drive through at Wendy’s. take care she don’t spit In your coke

I dunno, seems she deserved it. Maybe not your best moment but you didn't just take the abuse either.

You did the right thing, if you didn't turn around and belt that bitch she would continue trying to bully you. So you got in trouble, who cares the principle doesn't have to walk the halls every day and get bullied, you do. My grandson was getting bullied at school, I told him to belt that damn kid as hard as he could and hurt him pretty bad, he pushed the bully over onto the concrete and busted his face up. I praised him for it, and before all the good two shoes start chiming in on how I'm a bad grandad, prove to me that kid would have stopped if he ignored it?

No you all know I'm right, that poor bully is getting picked on at home and that's why he does this shit at school, well not to my grandson any more, he also earned the respect of other kids and made more friends. I told him don't you ever start bullying kids, he promised me he never would, but no one will pick on him again after they saw what he did to the bully.

In almost all situations there is a better solution, like juat telling the teacher that she is annoying you by doing this. Or just standing up and sitting down elsewhere. If you are good with words its also easy to make herself feel stupid for doing this.

I know it's a little moot, but, it would have been a lot simpler and easier to just go 'Hey teach, this kid behind me keeps smashing their feet into my back, they've been doing it for the past 20 minutes.' Or turn around and don't confront her and be silent about it. Confront her and be obvious. "Hey, you wanna stop kicking my back like you're a 10 year old on an airplane, grow up."

You did good by standing up for yourself. I am proud of you.

More and worser fuck up will come by anyway

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You're forgetting the key point that the other girl wasn't just being annoying - she was physically hurting OP. She was basically doing the same as what OP ended up doing, except for longer... and less visibly. And we haven't even begun to address the bullying aspect of it yet.

I agree with you that a punch to the face was taking things too far, but what the other girl did was also taking things too far in the first place. There's often not enough room to move the chair out of reach from someone sitting directly behind you, so that's not necessarily an option. And anyone who's ever dealt with bullying in school knows that if you take it to the teacher, a few things are going to happen: First of all, the bullying will only get worse - you 'snitched', so in the bullies' mind, you've shown you deserve it. Second, the teacher is more than likely going to either not do anything, or take the bully's side. There isn't necessarily a good way out of the situation OP was in.

All that being said - you're absolutely right that OP shouldn't have punched the other girl.

We humans are so weird. Wonder what the annoying person was expecting to happen.

I'm with you. I'm not saying she should have gotten into trouble or what she did was right and proper, but annoying bitch FAFO. I hope she learned.

As an civil adult I agree but sadly this mentality IN MY OPINION, strictly my opinion is why scammers, liars, theives and just shitty people in general do shit and get away with it. If someone lesrns they risk physical harm on themselves for invading a person's space they are much less likely to do that act again. But once again just my opinion.

Turning the other cheek to a bully only lets someone else or your self get bullied again later. Even if they were only kicking a chair and being annoying they'll think twice before bothering someone like that again. They fucked around and found out.

100% this. I got bullied in middle school and my mom always preached turn the other cheek. Talk it out bla bla bla. This works for most adults 20+ but I got harassed alot till I decided to fight back in high school. You'd be surprised how many ass holes love to throw punches, kick and push people around but if they get hit once they learn they can't get away with it and stop entirely.

EDIT: this girls response to someone kicking her chair was a bit much imo. But the people talking about civility must have had some privileged upbringings. Or maybe schools have changed since the early 2000s and bullying isn't as extreme or something.

This isn't the end of the world. I'm friends with a lot of people who did stuff like that, and they're still here, their parents still love them, they still graduated and got jobs, and overall nothing became of it.

Schools don't like it when you fight, but they're not going to go nuclear on you for doing so either. As long as it doesn't become a regular thing that requires constant intervention, you'll be fine.

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That sucks bad. I’m sorry. Maybe when things calm down a bit, you could point out that you lost your cool when you hit the girl, but you feel like your dad lost his cool when he screamed at you. He isn’t exactly modeling self control.

As someone who regularly got into fights to stand up for myself, I don't regret a single one.

Hope they were teaching Physics because you gave an example of Action and Reaction

Alright, but in this case it ia a bit over the top. Hitting someone in the face is much more dangerous then many realise. Better aim for other body parts. I feel like to learn that your actions were wrong you have to be punished accordingly, otherwise it is easy to see yourself as victim of the other persons crazyness.

I feel like that could lead to some dangerous escalations where you get jumped by them and their friends with potentially no one around to keep things going too far.

Likely would have been better to quietly try bring it up with the teacher, another student near you two (peer shame them), and failing that, plausible denial retaliation (get up from your seat but shove your chair back into their desk, into them, with a quick apology).

Clearly she should have held a sheet of paper between her fist and her face, that way it wouldn't have been physical.

the best thing against bullies is violence. Smack them as hard as you can. They are insecure people trying to pick on the easiest ones, so show the highest amount of resistance you can.

Violence can be a good thing if it's used for defensive purposes

The other person wasnt just being annoying though. They were still kicking the op in the back, just because there was a small plastic barrier between her foot and the ops back, op said it was still painful. I agree that violence vs annoyance is uncalled for, but op was being kicked, asked them to stop kicking her and got laughed at.

I hated school too. The irony that I work at one!

I don't have a quick temper, or much of one at all, but I still remember this pretty vividly.

In middle school, I was friends with two guys, (i was 13M or so at this time?) the same age. It was lunch and this kid was sitting on these concrete steps and kept scooting over and pushing me off the edge (or trying to) and singing some song from Futurama (Johnny cracked corn and bender is great was one of the lines or something). I was stressed and after the 2nd or third time of this kid pushing me off. I just stood up, grabbed his hair in one hand and punched him in the face as hard as i could with the other. He started crying and I got sent to the principals, which oddly enough still did that physical punishment stuff so I got to experience getting hit with a weird wood plank/board thing in 2005, felt a bit archaic.

I don't think we remained friends after that and he had a black eye for a few days, luckily i moved shortly after.

Anyways, point of it is, don't feel bad, this really won't be much more than a blip and a story to mention down the road. We all have a breaking point and sometimes it's just that unlucky person that accidentally got us there. You'll learn from it and likely have more restraint in the future.

Generally, most people, when I use my words, wish I'd just punched them in the face.

I mean, you're not wrong, but I think there's also the "what are the repercussions of me doing this" factor.

Learn the three strokes rule.

1st time, tell the bully to back off.

2rd time tell teacher/responsible adult and familly.

3rd time, beat the crap out of the bully. It will never be a 4th and you already covered your arse by telling the teacher.

Naw you showed that bitch what was up. Maybe not a wise move for your own sake, but you did the right thing for society as a whole and put a disrespectful piece of shit in her place.

She had it coming. Now with that start taking jujitsu classes. Expect more trouble. Head up champ. Your good

As both someone who was bullied in high school in almost this exact scenario, as well as someone who has dealt with anger issues in life, I certainly understand OP’s reaction. As a father I would understand, but I’d also want my child to strive to measure her response. Life is going to be fill with pain and annoyance and having violence be your go-to solution for that is going to a life of misery.

I was unclear, I apologise. I was merely clarifying the distinction between appropriate and effective. An inappropriate response is sometimes unfortunately necessary, when the appropriate response isn't going to happen.

The appropriate response here would have been for the school to discipline the seat kicker. Detention, writing lines, whatever - actions need to have consequences. As an adult, responding to bullying with violence can see you charged with assault, or at worst, manslaughter if the target falls over and cracks her skull on a tile floor.

However.

The appropriate response was unlikely, and in my experience, that's a problem common to many, if not most, schools. Bullying gets swept under the rug, but the emotional reaction is punished. In OP's defence, I wish I had memories of punching out my bullies, and I suspect this will be a positive memory 10 years from now. That response would not have been appropriate. But damn, it would have been satisfying.

5 days of not having someone kick my chair? Priceless!

Seriously, though, when you get back to school, ask the teacher to seat you away from that person and, if you continue to have problems, talk to a teacher or the principal about it.

OP asked them to stop, they didn't. They took enjoyment in aggravating the OP. They earned that split lip.

Next time they decide to deliberately provoke someone, perhaps they'll consider this event first.

There's a wonderful little exchange in Mr. Inbetween, where he's in anger management and they're asking him why he beat up some asshole teenagers:

They were being assholes.

Well sure... but the world's full of assholes.

Yea, you know why? Because we let them.

-

Problems don't get fixed until we start to deal with them. This is how you deal with assholes.

Ya know many of us wish we coulda hit some asshole when we were younger. Past 18 you can’t really do that since if police gets involved you can be arrested and charged with assault. Make those good years last.

Yup, you fucked up.

…because…

There are probably other recourses, and maybe the ones I mentioned don’t always work, but they do have the advantage of not screwing up OPs grades and home life.

She should have stopped when u asked. ignore Her

Wow some of the replies on here...yikes. If you really want to change this maybe give therapy a serious consideration. People will annoy you in life, sometimes even purposely, but if you react with violence as an adult you're going to wind up dead or in jail.

Oh I see now, my bad then. Totally agree with you.

1. She specifically said the kicking hurt, so yes return pain with pain it's the only thing bullies understand. Crying to teacher isn't going to do anything but maybe a small temporary reprieve.

2. I don't know what school you went to but unless you are in the front row there is nowhere to meaningfully move your desk to since they are crammed in rows.

3. Kicking a students chair repeatedly to the level it hurts and refusing to stop is absolutely be suspendable. Or at a minimum a week's in school suspension or detention.

For sure, I really feel bad for the school staff who's hands are tied with the unjust policies.

Unfortunately, the principal is a bit like the HR departments that you'll come across later in life. They're there to protect the institution from you, not to protect you from anything.

I can't condone your actions because resorting to violence is generally not the best solution. I'm not going to condemn them either. Your teacher should have been paying enough attention to the class to notice you telling the other student to stop the first time and intervene at that point.

As for your parents, emotions are high in the immediate aftermath of something like this. If they are the kind of people who are willing to listen when they're calmer, talk to them over the weekend and explain what happened as calmly as you can. Explain that the teacher didn't notice and intervene when you asked the other student to stop initially.

That all said, you stood up for yourself and made it clear you're not an easy target for their BS. Hopefully, because of that, they'll leave you alone in the future.

Mate. I wish i did that to the kids who kicked my chair in class.

I'm actually pretty disgusted at what teachers let kids get away with. You stood up to some dickhead. Be proud of yourself for not taking it.

She fucked around and found out.

I was bullied at school for a long time. I told my bully to stop, but of course he didn't. He even bullied me during class and I couldn't pay attention even if I wanted to. One day I snapped and punched him in the face. Only once, but hard. He ran out of the classroom with a bloody nose, his best friend had to mop the floor in the corridor. He wasn't seriously hurt. No one was mad about the incident, not even the teacher. They knew and understood what I went through. The bullying stopped and we got along quite well after that.

I hate violence and this was a last resort, but some people have to learn the hard way.

Hilarious. Sounds like the shithead deserved it. Unfortunately you'll find that even when deserved, physical violence will always be frowned upon.

Well done, I wish more parents acted this way. School officials have a duty towards the children, but often they only think of their own comfort.

Jesus! I had a similar experience around your age. The annoying guy in my class kept kicking my chair. I told him to stop and his reply was: "Like that?" and kicked again.

So, in a moment that I can't explain, I got up from my seat, grabbed the chair and smashed it on his desk. Both my chair and his desk broke. He got hit with the splinters. Nothing serious.

I had to write a report and I remember that I wrote: "I broke the desk and the chair, so I would not break his skull".

Never again did he mess with me.

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I'm about your age and I've been violent like this all my life. Outbursts feel so satisfying in the moment, but the guilt afterwards is crushing. I'm in therapy now and making progress. Good luck working on your problems. We got this!