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Argenis_82 t1_jdekwaw wrote

Your parents are aholes for not taking your side in this situation. You handled it properly. You asked her to stop, and she got rude and laughed at you. After that, it is what it is. I'd never punish my son for doing the right thing. Sometimes, the right thing is protecting yourself.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdeoysr wrote

Nobody around me thinks that

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Argenis_82 t1_jdeqxe2 wrote

Sorry, OP. It might not be much, but know that THIS father is proud of ya.

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Sandman1990 t1_jdeymja wrote

Seconded. u/Madeline2535 took the mature approach to start and when it didn't work she stood up for herself and didn't take shit. I wish I had done a little more "not taking shit" in my teenage years.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf1hu3 wrote

Thanks.

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Hawkson2020 t1_jdgmi9w wrote

As a general rule in life, it would be good to take the in-between step of talking to someone who can make that person stop before escalating to violence.

That being said, I’ve gone through high school and I know teachers may well not do anything to stop it.

In my experience staff or students stood up for me, and people only stopped fucking with me after I hurt someone badly enough. Since there was a clear paperwork trail of me complaining about that individual’s actions, I didn’t get any real punishment since it was clear the people responsible for stopping the escalation had failed in their duties.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf93p6 wrote

My father was fucking screaming at me.

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Argenis_82 t1_jdfas69 wrote

You know, I'm all about respecting thy elders. However, sometimes thy elders need to be brought back to earth. Why don't you try and sit with him and ask him what it is that he would have done differently, aside from begging, since the approach you took wasn't the correct one? Me, personally, I see no other way.

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adrolter t1_jdfjlv0 wrote

Yup. Bullies generally comprehend one, and only one, form of communication.

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Firstcounselor t1_jdha0et wrote

That sucks bad. I’m sorry. Maybe when things calm down a bit, you could point out that you lost your cool when you hit the girl, but you feel like your dad lost his cool when he screamed at you. He isn’t exactly modeling self control.

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UnrulyNemesis t1_jdew76r wrote

They say violence is not the answer to keep people in power safe (though it should obviously be the last resort as it can lead to an escalation of the problem as you have witnessed). Just know this girl won't kick your chair again and maybe she'll even learn not to bother other kids too. It's also a very good thing you learned this lesson now that you can get in trouble for violence as in the future the punishment for such actions are much much higher. Just make sure next time something like this happens, make sure you talk to the teacher or whoever your supervisor is (after telling them you will tell on them if they don't stop), so they at least know the situation and possibly even put a stop to it before you get physical.

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Duffman66CMU t1_jdfy2te wrote

Sure. She kicked a chair and laughed. Is that the same as punching in the face? Is this how we want to teach young people to react when someone annoys them?

Perhaps this young person could advocate for themself and move their chair out of reach. Perhaps they could consult the teacher. There are many other things that this student could have tried, but because they feel overwhelmed, they jumped right to the last resort.

That is where the principal’s coming from. Was what the other kid did wrong? Yes. Was it suspendable? No. Fighting is.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdfzche wrote

Maybe she should’ve left me alone

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Duffman66CMU t1_jdfztok wrote

Agreed! But if she doesn’t, then getting yourself in trouble shouldn’t be your go to solution.

If she doesn’t leave you alone, there are other options. She was totally wrong (and a jerk) for laughing and kicking your chair. You were also wrong for punching her.

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kakocastro t1_jdgce31 wrote

You clearly never had to deal with bullies yourself. It’s not just kicking the chair. It’s everything, the constant behaviour, the laughter, the jokes. And sometimes you can’t take it anymore. And today nobody can give a snack to a kid to teach them a lesson. Saying there are other solutions is unrealistic and only someone who has never been bullied believes it. Do you know what teachers did when I complained about being bullied? They talked with the bully. And it would work for a couple of days. The first time I fought back and knocked out one of them, I became the "dont fuck with him guy". its not up to OP to educate the bully. But it is up to OP to not let people fuck with her. I dont go around hitting people now at work. because I can reason with them. As a kid, bullies didnt understand reason. they understood getting their asses kicked.

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eivind2610 t1_jdh1q1u wrote

You're forgetting the key point that the other girl wasn't just being annoying - she was physically hurting OP. She was basically doing the same as what OP ended up doing, except for longer... and less visibly. And we haven't even begun to address the bullying aspect of it yet.

I agree with you that a punch to the face was taking things too far, but what the other girl did was also taking things too far in the first place. There's often not enough room to move the chair out of reach from someone sitting directly behind you, so that's not necessarily an option. And anyone who's ever dealt with bullying in school knows that if you take it to the teacher, a few things are going to happen: First of all, the bullying will only get worse - you 'snitched', so in the bullies' mind, you've shown you deserve it. Second, the teacher is more than likely going to either not do anything, or take the bully's side. There isn't necessarily a good way out of the situation OP was in.

All that being said - you're absolutely right that OP shouldn't have punched the other girl.

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Duffman66CMU t1_jdim5fu wrote

There are probably other recourses, and maybe the ones I mentioned don’t always work, but they do have the advantage of not screwing up OPs grades and home life.

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ricottapie t1_jdfg9qp wrote

I know that they have to follow protocol, but they often do so at the expense of common sense. Someone kicks your chair, refuses to stop when asked, and continues kicking while laughing at you for trying to stop them, and you're supposed to act like it doesn't bother you? Kudos to those who are able to, but I also don't blame the ones who literally strike back.

That said, you can't just go around kicking and punching your way through life. It sounds as though OP knows this, I just want to clarify that I'm not saying that you need to knock the teeth out of everyone who looks at you sideways. It's in your best interest to learn how to handle difficult people. In some situations, ignoring them does work, and you get to preserve yourself mentally and physically. Sometimes, you just have to keep your mouth shut and let them learn on their own. And if they never learn, then, well, sucks to be them.

Edited for a missing word

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