TIFU by sleeping next to an ex boyfriend

Submitted by tyalurGee t3_11x8ijt in tifu

r/TIFU by passing out in the same bed as my best friend’s ex boyfriend. Last Saturday I, (24F), went to an old friends birthday. For context: my best friend, 23F, and I have known each other for 13 years now. We were best friends in high school and hung out with this group which included her, now, ex boyfriend (let’s call him Jeff) and my ex boyfriend (Greg) with a about 6 other guys. At this birthday party, her ex, Jeff was there and we were catching up. We stay in touch, and my best friend knows this and has never cared because we were friends prior to them dating. We have all stayed close and all talk here and there. After the birthday party, we went to karaoke and I ended up drinking a few too many. A group of us went back to Jeff’s house. My roommate passed out on the couch, the birthday boy went to his bedroom, and I passed out in Jeff’s bed. Nothing happened, nothing would ever happen, and I woke up to Jeff on the couch. He dropped me off at my car and my best friend called me crying asking what I did with him last night. I told her nothing, because nothing happened, and that I slept in his bed. She now isn’t talking to me. A week goes by, I reach out because she is back in town, and she said she can no longer trust me and that she needs more time to understand this because she is so sad. I have apologized so many times in different ways. I understand she needs space, and I have given her some, but reached out to see if she was okay. I really don’t know what more I can do.

Am I crazy for thinking something else is going on? I know I disrespected the boundary with her… but is a 13 year friendship over because I drunkenly passed out in his bed?

TL;DR I got too drunk and passed out in my best friend’s ex’s bed and now she won’t speak to me.

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bahcodad t1_jd1zdp6 wrote

You didnt fuck up, your friend isnt listening to you. Shes made up her mind about what happened without even asking anyone and now she wont hear any different. Presumably the couch isnt even in the same room as his bed.

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kingOofgames t1_jd27qyj wrote

Are you sureeee nothing happened? /s

The issue is all on what your best friend thinks, and honestly, no matter how you reassure them nothing happened, they are always gonna think something happened. Give it some time for the other person to come out of it or “forgive” you.

Many long relationships are ruined over simple things like this.

Basically you can do a 100 good things but doing 1 bad thing, will make you a bad guy in peoples mind.

13 year relationship can also be messed up by one bad thing.

Best thing to do is give it some time, but this is not really your fault.

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eskimobazooka t1_jd47j7q wrote

Biggest problem is communication Ask her what she thinks happened in detail and give your side of the story in detail. If she needs proof, tell her to ask a third party such as jeff or any of the 6.

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whatdahexk t1_jd264aw wrote

I think it’s not weird to feel hurt if your best friend sleeps in your exes bed, especially if she was on the couch at his house at the same time. It would be so easy to have slept on another couch like he did, he at least was respectful and stayed out of the room. I don’t think you acted in way to intentionally hurt her, but you did and she is letting you know she is struggling with it and needs some time. She’s being very mature to work through her feelings first and I’m sure she will be willing to hear you out in some time. You’ve apologized and reached out to check in on her, so I think she needs to be ready to hear you out in order to move on from things. Let her come to you when she’s ready and offer support from the sideline until she is.

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AsparagusFirm7764 t1_jd1vvf3 wrote

Isn't it neat how alcohol always makes for stories of "I wish I never ...", And yet nobody ever catches on that maybe you shouldn't have alcohol?

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