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anakusis t1_je2aze3 wrote

A few years ago I was taking a medication with priapism being a rare unknown side effect. I woke up with a painful erection and it wasn't going away. Well after the 4 hour mark and an awkward conversation with my then girlfriend we went to the emergency room.

It was awkward enough having to check in with a waiting room full of people hearing me. I was praying the doctor would be a man in his 70s. Instead it was a tall attractive young blonde.

0/10 penis massage.

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sugarintheboots OP t1_je2fg47 wrote

Oh.My.God

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anakusis t1_je2flpe wrote

I wish that was the worst part.

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gregrainman314 t1_je2hx5x wrote

Don’t leave us hanging man!

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anakusis t1_je2jt3m wrote

Well after the penis massage didn't work and the meds didn't either the on call urologist showed up reeking of margaritas and guacamole because of course this was Cinco de mayo. I was on a lot of that fent stuff that's popular with the kids these days so I didn't care. There wasn't enough drugs in the world to make them shooting up my dick veins with saline and some other medications and then sucking it back over and over again. They kept try because the next step was surgery and I think we all appreciated the idea of doctor fajita breath opening my dick.

It finally worked and my knob was an enormous knot of bruises. I would kill for that size. The nursing staff assured me that they see this thing all the time but I've been in the emergency room several times and not once has half the medical staff walked into my room to take a look.

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Loud-Bee6673 t1_je31lsz wrote

Yeah that is rough. I have had to do that procedure a couple of times and it is not my favorite.

Definitely worse for the patient though.

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IllegitimateTrick t1_je3w1gz wrote

As an ER nurse, can confirm. Sorry if you were embarrassed, but we simply don’t care. The weirdest shit happens on the daily. I empathize with your discomfort, just please don’t think any embarrassment is warranted. Glad doctor Cuervo didn’t get you under the knife!

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itsjustmefortoday t1_je4z4uw wrote

I think people don't realise that whatever job role you have, you get used to stuff. For me (in retail) it's people's cards getting declined and they get all embarrassed. But I can promise unless someone is super nice or a super arsehole, we're not giving them a second thought.

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slash_networkboy t1_je5lq8g wrote

My mother is an ICU nurse, did rotations in ER and NICU.

ER was essentially a more concentrated version of what she deals with in ICU, NICU broke her though.

Top stories from the ICU:

  • "This chicken is tough" (from a no solid food patient): chewing on condom catheter.
  • The detox guy. Went in to violent DTs to the point that the pharmacy tech was sent to buy a bottle of grey goose while the pharmacist did the math of how much to add to 1L saline bags to keep the patient from dying from DT. He was there for damage caused by drinking listerine after his wife had dumped his booze.
  • Assorted "you're kidding right?" family stories. Your relative has been mostly dead all day, no they aren't going to be able to go to wherever tomorrow/next week.
  • More than one anal fissure turned septic. "Guess the object" ensues.

Of course she also had heartwarming stories about people getting second chances on life and such.

​

The TL;DR: is I don't think there's much on this planet that can phase my mother medically... as long as it doesn't involve babies.

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ecodrew t1_je33cai wrote

gross warning

A couple years ago, I had a bleeding, infected hemorrhoid that needed quick medical attention. I got their first available appt with their new PA... Who happened to be young and quite attractive. I'm a happily married man and she was ofc ompletely professional. (As was I) Butt, the whole situation was embarrassing enough, esp with my first meeting with their new doc was her examining my infected bum hole. The fact that she was attractive just seemed to weirdly make it just a bit more awkward in a weird way.

Oh, and then we visited my in-laws for a lunch and I had to try to explain that I was sick without the crappy details.

TL:DR Hole situation was a real pain in my ass.

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CptJazzyDragonLord t1_je3nrkr wrote

Its the embarrassment that naturally comes with attraction. If youre not attractes to someone you care less about hiding your flaws

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Catatonicdrgnfli t1_je45asl wrote

I’m just going to point this out - you made any joke I could have followed up with. Bravo.

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Been1LongDay t1_je5s85r wrote

It's good you went ahead and made every joke possible in your post, butt now no one else can have any fun

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ecodrew t1_je6v6eh wrote

Sorry to dump so many good jokes. I'm sure you can find a load more.

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Mike102072 t1_je4k25d wrote

Did the GF at least offer to try to take care of it?

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anakusis t1_je5d5i8 wrote

No she looked at me like "nice try" not that you are really in the mood because your cock tissue is dying.

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