You are the asshole. “Dealing with a lot more than I bargained for” “stop whining” bruh you decided to date a 19y when you were 24. ALSO when you date someone seriously and you love them, there’s no “more than I bargained for” there’s just loving them and helping them through their stuff.

If she were actively being an ass about it then yea you don’t have to deal with it so her jealousy towards your family is not great, but other than that she has been through so many unspeakable things that you should be helping her through. If you don’t want to do that then leave, she deserves someone who won’t tell her to get over it. And if you don’t want to deal with it then leave rather than inflicting more trauma on her.