So I meant my wife when I was 24 and she was 19 and she already had a kid, she was forced to move to another state by her in-laws, she wasn't with her baby daddy anymore but they still made her move so that they had access to the child. She was raised in a very very abusive and drug filled home. I'm talking about stepdad trying to kill the whole family on a few occasions, type of abuse, also physical, emotional and mental abuse from her mother, also a couple unsuccessful but attempted molestations. My mother who was in law enforcement when they met and she started my wife's story brought up the fact that most people who have been through what she's been through become simply statistics. Healing takes a long time. Just like the grief from the death of a parent or a child, time heals all wounds, by the same time the grief and the pain doesn't ever really go away. Time does it ever fully heal things. Does hearing the same stories and the stuff like that become tiresome sometimes? Of course. Just like I'm sure that you have stories or things that you do that annoy the f*** out of other people. The point is though, if her healing process is a burden to you, then you don't deserve the person she's going to be when she's done healing. I may understand your concern about her developing a drinking problem. It's easy for people who have been through that kind of trauma to self-medicate. But ultimatums, or just calling people out on it as a problem doesn't necessarily help them. Positive reinforcement is what she needs. Support and understanding is what she needs. Patience and love is what she needs. There's a difference between supporting somebody and enabling them. If you care about her then do some research on how to support people recovering from trauma. There are groups out there both online and in person that you can go to, to help you learn how to be a better partner to her as somebody recovering from trauma. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way claiming to have been perfect to my wife during her healing process. I made mistakes, we all do and I can tell the fact that you are saying in your post that it was a f****** that you probably care. To learn from your mistake, and do better. That's all you can do. Learn, and do better.