SUPERSAMMICH6996 t1_j7o79er wrote on February 8, 2023 at 5:14 AM

Reply to comment by redbucket75 in Tifu by looking at half naked women by [deleted]

I don't think that's necessarily true. If he were to sleep with other people, would that be crossing a boundary or breaking a rule? Either way it seems pretty pedantic.

PennyNoneTheWiser t1_j7oc7xw wrote on February 8, 2023 at 6:05 AM

Boundaries are set for oneself. “You cant sleep with other people” is a rule. “I won’t stay in this relationship if you sleep with other people” is a personal boundary

SUPERSAMMICH6996 t1_j7qegko wrote on February 8, 2023 at 5:54 PM

That's still fairly pedantic though.

CavemanSlevy t1_j7s7sac wrote on February 9, 2023 at 12:59 AM

What is the point of having different words if they don't actually have separate meanings?

SUPERSAMMICH6996 t1_j7sf50a wrote on February 9, 2023 at 1:53 AM

I meant that in that example, calling it a rule vs a boundary doesn't seemingly make a difference in the outcome. A rule of: 'Cheat and I will leave you', vs a boundary of 'I won't stay in this relationship if you sleep with other people', is effectively exactly the same.

GsTSaien t1_j7s3xy5 wrote on February 9, 2023 at 12:31 AM

Right, so it was a boundary then... because the result of breaking it was it hurt her and made her uncomfortable.

PennyNoneTheWiser t1_j7scrm9 wrote on February 9, 2023 at 1:36 AM

Lol no, a boundary in this instance would be “if you look at naked women on instagram I won’t continue this relationship”. You can’t set boundaries for other people to follow, only for yourself. I don’t know the specifics of this relationship and conversation, I was just trying to explain the difference between boundaries and rules as I understand them.