just--so t1_j9syrn2 wrote on February 24, 2023 at 9:42 AM

I can tell you exactly where you fucked up, and it wasn't where you think.

Directly after the two of you had a conversation where you agreed that the two of you should dial back on any feelings and just keep it cool and friendly, you sent her a message about your emotional baggage from a previous relationship where you had been someone's second choice, and how hurt your feelings were, and so on.

That is the moment where you should have given her space, or at least kept things light. You had both talked it out, come to an agreement like adults to be friendly. Once you do that, discussions of why you should/shouldn't be in a relationship with each other are moot. "I'll be here for you," means, "...in the future, as a friend," not, "literally immediately keep talking at me about why us dating/not dating would hurt your feelings."

You guys agreed to just be friends, but then immediately gave her a reason to think, "Oh, this guy might not be able to be chill about this after all."

phan801 t1_j9ttzv3 wrote on February 24, 2023 at 2:53 PM

Exactly my thoughts too! OP you need to dial it down and give her space if you are interested in trying to maintain a form of friendship. Let a couple of weeks pass and maybe send her a reel then if a friendship is something that you still want. If you're secretly hoping this will turn into something else it's probably better for both of you if you don't continue.