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Debaser626 t1_ja0flua wrote

Reply to comment by seasamgo in TIFU why me (29F) and my girlfriend (28F) talked about our marriage with his conservative family. by TIFUweddingday

I personally don’t get the “huge, long-ass, and expensive” wedding thing.

No one likes them… except for the people charging for services and space, the couple and maybe the parents of the couple.

I’ve been to a few of these and they are just horrible. I don’t care that you rented a horse drawn carriage and 20 doves, but it’s like 90 degrees outside and now everyone has to sit around and wait because it’s gonna rain for the next hour.

I love going to backyard weddings. There’s friends/family… maybe a 10 minute ceremony and then you hang out for several hours and leave the happy couple to their future lives.

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seasamgo t1_ja0k5vz wrote

I feel you. I do get why some of the people getting married might like that. Maybe it's their natural preference, maybe it's just what they imagined due to having it marketed to them since an early age, but everyone has their own desires. I even enjoy being at some those weddings if they were planned in ways that make them enjoyable for guests (i.e. not a fly-to destination wedding at the equator during the most humid season and with peak sun).

But mostly I think they're just a flex and kind of annoying.

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tke494 t1_ja110af wrote

I kind of think it's just because it's pretty, etc. Now, it's nice for Instagram, etc. In more classic terms, it makes for a nice visual memory of a day. But, it sounds like in practice, a lot of the memory of the day would be about the arranging of complicated things that often go wrong.

My wedding was just signing some paperwork at the Family registration center(Taiwan). My wife had had a traditional wedding with her ex. Not fun. Mostly just a chance for her FIL to do business.

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Pame_in_reddit t1_ja18myq wrote

Weddings were the best time for me when I was little and we planned to make it the same for the children that were invited. Seeing them running around, playing, surrounding the chocolate fountain and asking for the fish butterflies on the wedding cake made me happy.

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Leovaderx t1_ja0kn4j wrote

It depends on region. Some places do 500 snack plates, some places the families compete for the most stupid sized wedding. Some are 7 day long events. There are ways to do it like that properly. Butbsome people plan big and either get lazy or cheap out.

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Debaser626 t1_ja0mnad wrote

Right… in some social circles or cultures it’s a part of a long tradition and is fully expected and welcomed.

When I got married we had (between savings and what was gifted by family to spend on our marriage celebration) about 20k.

We spent about 5k on the wedding (attire and rings included) and the rest on the Honeymoon.

The ceremony was on the beach totaling 30 minutes, and then a reception at a nearby restaurant.

We had people have the option of RSVP’ing to one or the other or both.

We were both on the same page about doing a quick ceremony and spending the bulk on the Honeymoon… 10 years later, it was and still is the best “vacation” I ever had.

No financial worries about spending and having a bunch of expensive random experiences…like getting a penthouse suite at a 5-star hotel for one of our nights there (and then going back to the cozy B&B for the rest of the trip) just to see what that was like once in our lives.

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hmbritt t1_ja1u98i wrote

I had a backyard wedding, and probably a 10 minute ceremony like you just mentioned. Tons of food, alcohol and music. It seemed like everyone had a blast and stayed pretty late. We had people there till midnight.

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bedrooms-ds t1_ja3gwtd wrote

I always feel it weird that my generation is in a financial crisis, yet spends money worth a car or two on a wedding. I mean, if the same money went to investment it'd be a better marriage preparation.

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