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Qyro t1_ja26yin wrote

Reply to comment by smc62 in TIFU by texting my ex-wife by LaVieEnRoseLavelle

Is it really that easy for the mother of a child to take them abroad? Yeah, why would anyone stop them? And then once she’s out of the country what can you do to force them back?

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TheOriginalSmileyMan t1_ja29a2s wrote

Well unless she's got permission to stay, live and work, most other countries will do the forcing back for you.

If the ex wife has dual nationality or close family abroad then it would be more of a worry, but OP said nothing to indicate that

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vember_94 t1_ja2pvsd wrote

This is correct, a lot of the other replies to this comment are giant copes

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TheOriginalSmileyMan t1_ja2sr9s wrote

Thanks, thought I was going mad for a while! 😄

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3than_OG t1_ja3yp2z wrote

My mother got a new partner abroad and moved out on the guise of a holiday to my dad (separated at this point) taking me with her, she stayed for months until she was in an accident and came back. Meanwhile my dad was powerless to do anything because I live with her

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Ragnarotico t1_ja2hox7 wrote

Lots of people with dual citizenship. Also lots of ways to stay abroad for a long time/indefenitely. Can go from place to place on temporary/visitor's VISAs. They might also have a "friend" in a certain country that can marry them, etc.

The threat of taking a child and leaving the country is a common one in divorce/domestic abuse situations.

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CazRaX t1_ja465kx wrote

Yeah no, people stay when not supposed to all the time, it is rather common.

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HelenaBirkinBag t1_ja5bmms wrote

In the US, the majority of illegal immigrants come here legally and out stay their visas.

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Qyro t1_ja2xnjn wrote

>Well unless she's got permission to stay, live and work…

Things that are also not too hard to obtain. People emigrate all the time.

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TAOJeff t1_ja2yu6k wrote

Yes, especially if she's got the same surname as the kids. If the surnames are different, there is additional paperwork required to prove it isn't a kidnapping. I know someone who kept her married name for this reason.

But yes, it's very easy for a parent to move countries with a child leaving the other parent with bugger all legal options. While there is usually a requirement for a work/permanent VISA, the parent in question doesn't need to tell anyone about it, and the country issuing it isn't going to tell anyone if they are asked.

I say a VISA is usually required, there are situations where you can request asylum in a destination country. Everyone is immediately going to think of refugees in sinking boats trying to enter the EU or something like that. The problem the refugees in boats usually have is, they have passed through other countries. If you want refugee status, you have to ask in the first country you get to. (Example : If you were fleeing Liberia and boarded a plan that landed in Ghana and you then got onto another flight to the UK. The UK will tell you to piss off, because you should have asked Ghana)

There are cases where the opposite happens, family is leaving the country, so they go to the airport, parents board the plan and leave the kids behind. Yes, am aware that sounds made up, but it isn't and it's worse than you think because it was in a country with no social services nor any kind of facility that could assist.

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silent_cat t1_ja57jgc wrote

Dunno about elsewhere, but here (NL) if you're travelling by yourself with a kid under 18, you need some kind of proof at the border that the other parent consents.

Of course, you can go a bloody long way before you hit border controls, but it's usually a problem for countries like Morocco and Turkey.

Edit: it's not foolproof obviously, but it prevents a lot of the simple cases.

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