The first step would be to cut the booze out of your life because that is literally fuel on the fire when it comes to depression. Step two is to try and figure out when the depression started to set in and ask yourself what about you and your life changed during that time. To give you a personal example, my depression started when I went broke trying to go to school and ended up in debt after not completing school made me feel like a failure twice over plus compounded by the fact I worked a minimum wage job that was stressful and barely covered my bills. I ended up spending money I couldn't afford to, so I could escape the existence of feeling like a failure but in the end, I always had to wake up to the reality of feeling like a failure just more broke than I was the day before. Step three is definitely therapy and learning your worth through self-love and healing the toxic mindset that you are lacking because you don't measure up to some unrealistic societal pressure that was never your responsibility to meet, whether that be in love, career, or health. So learn to manage your expectations for yourself so that you can better manage the expectations that other people will inevitably try to force upon you. Best wishes on being the person you want to be not the one you're expected to be.