Submitted by accidentallyagamer t3_11dn1d3 in tifu
As any 20 year old woman I too was in possesion of a so called vibrator. This has never caused any complications, however last night the ultimate doom scenario unfolded.
For context, I still live with my parents and sibling, like many broke college students. In a not so very big house.
I was asleep in my room, that is below my parents' room, when I woke up from a loud noise. Quite mortified I found out that my vibrator had turned on out of itself. One would think this is not that bad, but when I pressed the button to turn it of...
It simply wouldn't.
In sheer panic I went downstairs and sat on the couch, with vibrator in hand, contemplating, what on earth I was going to do. No matter how hard or long I pressed the button it refused to stop vibrating, and as any person who has one of these things knows, they are goddamn LOUD.
You would think this would be the ultimate opportunity for a very eventful evening, but alas I was not in the mood.
Eventually I came up with the brilliant idea to hide the vibrator in the garden shed. After finding out that the vibrator was inclined to grow even more louder upon laying it on top of any (any) type of surface, I wrapped it in a couple of tea towels and hid it.
At this point I was in sheer shock of all that had happened, but it seemed that my parents were still asleep. I went back to bed. Tried to fall asleep despite still hearing the vibrator...vibrating in my ears.
And when I woke up I realised that it was not yet over. Because now, despite everyone being at home, I was to walk over to the shed unnoticed, and get back inside with a teatowel baby.
When I eventually managed to do this and had the devious thing hidden in my drawer again, I thought I had gotten away with it. See, I thought to have remembered the battery was strong enough for three hours tops, and if it had truly kept doing what it did best in that shed it would have probably simply emptied out.
Hower, later that evening I was in the living room with my parents and they heard a strange noise coming from up stairs. Where this might have been my cue to go check if everything was alright with the demons in my bedroom, I was blissfully unaware of what they were hearing and simply thought it was the wind they heard.
Unfortunately my father had decided he was invested in this strange sound and decided to sherlock holmes his way through the house.
A good while later he came back downstairs and had the biggest fucking grin on his face I had ever seen.
"You know what that noise was that I heard upstairs?"
Yeah alright what happened next is open for your own interpretation. Luckily my parents are incredibly cool people and they simply laughed at me for a good 20 minutes.
The crazy part is, that this thing is still turning on and off unprompted? I saw it with my own eyes this time, and I truly have no clue what to do with it.
As of right now it is nicely wrapped up in towels and hidden under my blankets, but... do I throw it away? Edited: it does not have batteries, I cannot take those out. It is also waterproof I cannot drown the wee bastard. I cannot possibly throw it in the garbage bin, it might keep on vibrating for weeks at this rate...
TL;DR : my vibrator is broken and my parents found out, while I am still trying to work out how to get rid of it.
TheSmoarelax t1_ja9p73d wrote
Put your phone on vibrate and leave it everywhere to subtly fuck with your family