I am deceased. This is the best story ever (and I am so glad it happened to YOU... and not me, lol)

edit: and so you can have a good laugh at my own misfortune, here's a story for you:

My husband and I used to keep our toys in one of the drawers of the headboard. Perfect place, nice and convenient, right? Lube too. Until it wasn't the perfect place.

My oldest, when he was about 2, went down for a nap on my bed. He was out pretty hard so I left the monitor on and closed the door, and went about my day. A few hours later, I heard him awake and went to go get him. Unfortunately for me... he woke up and QUIETLY started to poke around. The monitor didn't pick it up because it was across the room. He was covered head to toe in lube, and had managed to turn on one of the toys.... and was chewing on it. Because one of his teething toys vibrated a bit when you bit it. Thank fuck we clean VERY well after every use, but I binned that toy, and the other one he had in his hand.

He got a bath, and the rest of the toys got a new home.