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Icy_Pickle3021 t1_j9hn4bj wrote

My Mom is a Jehovahs Witness and would be quite forceful with it when we were younger (especially as school age kids). My Dad was Catholic and eventually put his foot down and basically gave her a choice of compromise for his kids to (how I have always seen it) live as "normal" a childhood we could. We started celebrating very select holidays...their compromise was just that they couldn't be celebrated on the actual holiday itself and would be called something different. (Example: Christmas was on Dec 23rd and called "present day" where we just got presents). One of these compromises was also that we not be forced to go to the hall or Bible study and would only go if we chose to but if we chose not then we still had to at least go for "memorial" each year. (Easter for those who don't know what it is) My mom would bribe us that if we were good and attentive at the hall for "memorial" we would get dairy queen ice cream afterward.

When I was 16 I didnt get dressed up and ready to go to "memorial" and my mom was so angry it turned into a screaming match and she was trying to force me to go (while making herself and my little sister late). My Dad told her "shes 16. She can decide for herself. If she doesnt want to go she doesnt have to. I told her "you can't bribe me with ice cream anymore." I watched my mom's heart shatter through her eyes at that moment, but i didn't back down and haven't since.

She eventually got over it. It took some time but she did. 20yrs later, she still tries to force her beliefs on me and when I'd disagree with her she would get angry and start screaming at me. It got to a point a couple years ago that I told her I will respect her beliefs but she is to respect mine, too, and that i will no longer talk religion with her and if she tries I will simply hang up the phone or if it's in person I will leave, and if she tries to recruit my son into it she won't be allowed around him without me, my ex husband(his dad), his dad's girlfriend, or my husband.

I don't know what Muslim beliefs are when it comes to things like this, but I would say to just reassure your Mom often how much you love and value her and your family. Make sure she knows. I hope things look up for you, but I don't see this as a FU. But again, I'm unaware of Muslim beliefs so I hope I'm right in thinking relationships can be salvaged here and agreeing to disagree in the future is possible.

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nebulaorbit t1_j9izl20 wrote

Jehova's is a complicated religion. Part of it is that you have to try your best to teach others. Your mom has a quota of number of people she has to talk to each week, if she doesn't she will go to hell (or thats what she believes). It must be really tough to be a Jehovas Witness, I fell sorry for them. Thinking about it, I now also feel sorry for that certain kind of vegan we all know... Seems very similar.

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YoggyYog t1_j9j1ajl wrote

I don’t actually know any vegans like the one you say 😅maybe one day, but I know a lot of vegans and they’re all cool.

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nicapachi t1_j9ja97j wrote

Yup, it's truly a stereotype. Most vegans just want to live (and eat) in peace and know that missionizing people won't do anyone a favour. Weird thing to say.*

*Edit: was informed the comment made was aimed towards ThatVeganTeacher. Yup, that person is definitely not a good example.

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Kutanu t1_j9jd208 wrote

Search up ThatVeganTeacher and you'll see what they're referring to. It wasn't a generalisation, it was a dig at her 👍

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nicapachi t1_j9jjnsy wrote

Ooh, thanks for the clarification, that person totally slipped my mind. Ugh, she's a handful.

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FindingEmoe t1_j9kttsz wrote

Yah toxic predatory terrible that sounds like a cult didn't know they were that bad they shouldn't be allowed to exist

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nebulaorbit t1_j9kuf3f wrote

I am not saying I agree with JWs. On anything. Everyone has the right to believe what they want, and I have the right to pity them for worrying more about the afterlife than the current life.

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FindingEmoe t1_j9kwl5d wrote

Being forced to proselytize on a weekly quota or your soul being condemned for all eternity is extremely fucked up to make someone beleive

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ichibanalpha t1_j9laoeh wrote

literally none of that is true. some people act like this person's mother, and I myself have not always seen eye to eye with my mother when she, essentially, tries to guilt me into doing something, and we all have our personal gripes. What you said however is blatant lies. as far as OP, I wouldn't say not to feel bad about it, but don't let it get to you. I'm also not Muslim, but baring the unlikely cases, most parents, and im assuming yours as well from your description, want what is best for their kids. Obviously they think being Muslim is the best , but I think they feel more sad that, in their eyes, you're not getting "the best".

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tigressswoman t1_j9jfzyo wrote

You have put into words what I was going to write. I, too was brought up jehovahs witness and didn't have birthdays or Christmases. I have notnhad the fanily upset though as my mum moved away from those beliefs when I was about 10 I think.

Anyway I agree with what you've said OP shouldn't feel bad. His mum will get over it. It's not really his fault even though he feels that it is. The best thing to do is be kind and considerate to her but stand firm.

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FindingEmoe t1_j9ktqei wrote

Wow that's insanely toxic and any religion that promotes that behavior is toxic too

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