I was an agnostic when I was a younger adult. And I was pretty vehemently opposed to a lot of Christianity.

I do believe in God, or perhaps just flows of energy in the universe that are too big for me to understand. I found a branch of Christianity that has values I agree with, and is not the classic, conservative Christianity. My church is welcoming to all (not just giving lip service) and even partners with other non-Christian religions in community service.

My point is, you may find something later in life that makes more sense to your values. I am sorry you are having a difficult time navigating this with your family. I hope you are true to your beliefs and don't allow this to guilt you too much. Your whole job as a human, after all, is to learn and grow and love. Religion is just a vessel some use to that purpose, God has bigger things to deal with than a few sips of booze or which book you read on Sunday. Anyone who pretends otherwise is presuming to know the unknowable.