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Aneleth t1_j9892sa wrote

You... Are using a woman you live with for sex, after you cheated on her, plan to keep on cheating on her, and told her nothing until you have a place to move to?

Sounds like this is a minor hiccup in a way bigger FU.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j98bz4r wrote

Yea, as I said, I'm being a piece of shit rn. I'm not proud of what's been happening. It's a situation I never thought I'd see myself in. And one I never really wanted to be in. I've just continued to make bad decisions here, and this is just another one of the many. Figured putting it out there would be a good way for me to really look at the situation and realize how fucked up I've been lately. And hopefully push myself to do better. Basically, just something to look back on after I'm out of the situation and remind myself never to be this person again.

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Aneleth t1_j98cby4 wrote

Sounds all very good, but you don't seem to be owing up to any of the shit you are doing to others. You still talk in a very self centered way.

Stop using women, OP. Just stop. Do the soul searching later.

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Chim_Pansy t1_j9bvabk wrote

Lmaooo. OP like "I'm being a major piece of shit, but I don't want to be! I am going to use this to motivate myself to change."

Then just fucking change, you clown. You are cheating on the woman you live with and talking about it like it's choosing shorts instead of pants on a brisk day. These aren't people to OP. They are just props in the narrative of his autobiography.

Imagine being such a monumental piece of garbage.

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Simplemaam t1_j98usma wrote

I’m confused. G2 knows you’re living with (and assuming in a relationship with?) G1 and has the audacity to be upset you slept with G1 and thought of G2? Sounds like you both have some things to work on.

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Strange_Writer_3963 t1_j99ljtf wrote

A classic tale of a horny young man who can't afford to leave the stable girl but really fantasizes about making a break for the exciting new one willing to share him and be his side-piece, for now.

Advice:

(1) If they both knew about each other and you were supporting them both, you might get to have your cake and eat it, too without being a cad. If you were very lucky and very thoughtful and very trustworthy.

(2) Your plans were already doomed before all of this. If you left G1 for G2 (even if you haven't wrecked your ship already) then the most likely outcome is that G2 and you will both be miserable as soon as her life gets worse by having to take care of you. You need training, experience, and/or education so that you can be confident in pulling your own weight plus helping your partner.

I am not saying this to be mean. I am trying to give you good quality advice: Be prepared to pay full price for what you want from people. Be strategic and work hard so that you can afford to be a strong contributor to any relationship. If you are confident and generous you won't need to manipulate anyone or lie to get what you want because you will have real bargaining power to just ask, and real poise to be gentle and polite when you are rejected.

Your story is the story of a coward and a manipulator, but you could grow up to be something better, and I hope you do!

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j9cnqdq wrote

Truth is, between myself and G1. I work while she does not. If I'm leeching from anyone, it's her mother who also works and gets the bills paid. I do give her mother some money from each of my paychecks so as to contribute. While I also pay for groceries and other house necessities as they come and as I can. I cook and clean here and there. So, in my defense, I'm not totally useless when it comes to contributing.

My issue comes more so in my lack of savings because I just don't see the point 90% of the time. If I die tomorrow and have a million saved, what good did it do me? None. Maybe to the people I leave behind, but to me, nothing. And it's that thought process I've been fighting against in order to do better.

All that said, it has nothing to do with the shitty things I'm doing. My lack of savings and my way of thinking do not excuse me from what's going on. I'm being an asshole and that's that. There will never be an excuse for it.

I do appreciate the advice provided. Thank you. Here's where my mind is at. As soon as I have a place separate from G1, be it an apartment or a car, I will break things off. I will own up to what I've done because she deserves to know. I can't say I will do it before then. I accept that it makes me even more of a shitty person, but I'm just not cut out for life on the streets. Do I deserve it? Yes. But I'm not going down that road. Sorry. I won't be pursuing anything with G2 as she's not the type of girl I'd want to associate myself with if I'm planning on being a better person. I plan to take the time to be alone and consider what I've done, what I plan to do with my life, and basically become self-sustaining before even considering another relationship. And beyond that, make the choice to separate from anyone I do not wish to be with before engaging with anyone else. Will I succeed in all of this? Idk. But I can only work towards and hope to be a better person 1, 2, 5 years from now.

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Strange_Writer_3963 t1_j9htcg3 wrote

Here is a mental exercise that will help train your financial sense:

Having a good reputation (for getting work done well and on time) and a little money in the bank gives you confidence. It's extremely likely that you will be alive tomorrow, and so it's a pretty safe bet to leave future you in a slightly better position so he won't ever have to make such moral compromises. If you think about it that way, it might help you get your gut feelings on board with your long-term plans.

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yeet_company t1_j9b2lw3 wrote

Sound like you're just a peice of shit in general. Not just tight now .

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honeyegg t1_j9b7h7u wrote

You’re a leech

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Whane17 t1_j9aa5c5 wrote

Sounds like your a young man making the decisions young men tend to and thinking with the wrong parts of your anatomy instead of your brain.

Nothing I'm going to say that others already haven't. Make sure the mistakes you make now don't come back and haunt you as an old man.

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zzzorba t1_j9bgtsm wrote

Username checks out

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Kraze1468 t1_j97roq2 wrote

This is an oof my dude. But I believe it’s all going to work out

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Chim_Pansy t1_j9bvqad wrote

For who? The women he is crushing? Probably not. For OP? Why would you even root for OP? He is suffering from a severe bout of main character syndrome, but the problem is that he doesn't realize it's a story about a villain.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j97t4tw wrote

This is the result of being the weird kid no one really wanted to be friends with. Then, becoming an adult with little to no experience with women. I try to use the knowledge gleaned from seeing other people's mistakes on the internet. But today, I joined them. We all do at some point or another, I suppose.

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Incapacitater t1_j9b8hgj wrote

No, we don’t. Quit trying to normalize and excuse your complete lack of humanity you piece of shit.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j9clncu wrote

Yes, we do. Everyone makes mistakes. Some are worse than others. This is among the worst. Not my decision to say what I said. But what is going on beyond that. But everyone makes mistakes. No matter how hard you try to avoid them. Whether you realize it or not. We're all human. We all make mistakes. That doesn't excuse the decisions we make when we make them. But it's just a natural course of human existence.

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Incapacitater t1_j9clv4h wrote

I was referencing that you seem to think everyone becomes a mistake on the internet eventually, which is decidedly untrue. You are still a POS.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j9comid wrote

I wasn't? You assumed so on your own. As stated in my last comment, we all make mistakes. As such, we all join those who have shared on the internet as people who have made mistakes. Not all put it out there. But all do make mistakes.

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Chim_Pansy t1_j9bw3y7 wrote

This isn't the result of "being the weird kid no one really wanted to be friends with," this is simply the result of not having empathy for others nor seeing women as people, as well as just an overwhelming capacity for being a huge piece of shit.

Don't try to discount it as your environmental influences did this to you. This isn't something that happened to you. This is something you have done to someone else. Jesus christ, get the fuck over yourself for two minutes.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j9clav5 wrote

While I accept what you're saying. You misunderstood what I meant. The decision to say what I said is what I meant here. What I'm doing is just me being a piece of shit. And that is on me. I'll accept that all day.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j97xjw4 wrote

I'm assuming my best course of action at this point is to just sit back and wait for a response, no? Don't continue to try and "fix" this. Just kind of ride out whatever comes my way.

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easyontheeggs t1_j98cl8z wrote

The best course of action would be to leave and never speak to either of these women again so they have the luxury of not being manipulated by you anymore.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j98epbg wrote

I can accept the manipulation claim for G1. But G2 knows everything, and up until last night, was fine with how things are. I suppose if you mean my attempts at "fixing" things as manipulation, I can see that. But in the end, I'm accepting of whatever outcome I get from my situation. As a whole. Not just the fuck up I wrote about. But 100% the situation as a whole.

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Love4KittyButtholes t1_j98vo1m wrote

You don't see women as people. You're trying to mentally gymnastic your way around whether you are less of a piece of shit with G2 but the fact is you are terrible to both of them. If you were someone's B2 or B1 I have a feeling you'd feel differently. I'm not sure why you thought people in this thread would give you helpful advice to "fix" any of your terrible relationships.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j9co9ku wrote

🤷

I expect there to be all kinds of people on the internet. Those who will call me out for what I'm doing. And those who agree with it and would encourage it. Just kind of leaving it up to the internet to do its thing. Whatever it may be.

−1

Love4KittyButtholes t1_j9dvav6 wrote

And surprisingly, despite my gripes with sexism on Reddit, almost every single person here has pointed out that you're an asshole. It doesn't even sound like you feel bad about it. It's just a very sociopathic take and I don't see this often. Even if someone passionately defended how they weren't an asshole would betray some effort to remain in the clear. But you. You just don't care.

It's astounding. I wish I believed in karma.

You're not the worst person in the world, and you might even be decent to other people. But the thing that horrified me is the senseless blase attitude of it all.

There is something clearly very wrong with you. I hope these women figure it out.

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ThrowMeAway_97 OP t1_j9heoct wrote

It's hard to feel bad about something I know won't be changing any time soon. What's the point? I'd just feel like shit the whole time with nothing happening, and that just doesn't sound appealing. Do I, objectively speaking, know and understand that this is all fucked up and whatnot? That I should just own up and accept my fate? Yes. Absolutely. But if I'm being honest. I'm not going to. Not yet. That time will come. I'll accept whatever karma or shit gets thrown my way. Not gonna complain about it. I'll deserve it. But until then. I'm just gonna ride this out and just let things be things. Is that fucked? Yes. But it is what it is at this point 🤷

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Love4KittyButtholes t1_j9la6gr wrote

The point of empathy is to _reduce suffering_. That's the point. The point is to be good. If you don't find a point in feeling like shit for doing shitty things, what is the point? Just hedonistically grinding your way through life fucking people over for whatever carnal or base pleasures causes you to just "ride things out" until someone catches up to you? And if the karma doesn't catchup?

When you do something unethical and no one is watching, there IS someone watching, and it's not god or some higher power, it's YOU. When you do fucked up things, you change who you are as a person. You allow yourself to marinate in the harm of others as an acceptable trade off for whatever incidental rewards you receive for the time being. You end up a different person. My argument is that you harm yourself when you harm others, you just don't totally feel it at the moment.

I'm not going to tell you that karma will catch up to you, because I've lived long enough to know that terrible things don't always happen to terrible peop.e. Some terrible people live long and get away with everything. But I can tell you, for the most part, I have not met many terrible people who were happy being terrible people. They're always acting in a way that seems insecure, attention-seeking, paranoid, or base. It's no way to live, man. You sound young, so none of this has made its mark. But someday it will.

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Chim_Pansy t1_j9bwb7a wrote

The best course of action is to leave both of these women alone as well as every other woman on the planet until you develop a sense of empathy and respect for others.

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