TIFU by smelling a stain

Submitted by disgurstingshiit t3_10s4vo5 in tifu

Obligatory this happened yesterday. You can probably guess where this is going.

I've been talking to a guy for a while now, our schedules never matched up but yesterday I was finally free when he was, and he asked to come over. We watch an episode of some show, and the chilling part of Netflix and Chill starts happening. All is well, he takes off his pants and I'm on top (relevant, I swear). We're both happy at the end. I tell him I'd like to see him again and he leaves.

I come back to my bedroom and turn the lights on, and immediately notice a stain on my sheets because they're light coloured. Confused, I get closer to take a look and that's when the smell hits me. I gag and grab some tissue paper to try and get the stain off before I wash my sheets.

Yeah, it was poop. Aside from knowing I wipe my butt, it was never on the bed so it couldn't have been me. The dude on the other hand? Yup.

Since I said I'd like to see him again, he has texted me about it. I don't even know what to do, I thought he was really cute but I cannot get over this disgusting incident. Do I say anything about it? do I just hope he learns it himself? do I just end it somehow?

TL;DR: Invited a guy over who left a shitstain on my bed. He wants to meet again but I can't get over the nasty.

80

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

sHAkysHAde t1_j6zi7zy wrote

You made him cum so hard he shit himself! Wow. Achievement unlocked?

56

bkarst5 t1_j6zuqhe wrote

This is like the setup to a Seinfeld episode

66

JudgeJudyApproved t1_j70t2ok wrote

There was just a thread recently in this sub where people were telling the poster that accidents happen and some people said they were in long-term relationships with people where poop happened during their first sexual-encounter. Things happen, and sometimes it can be laughed-off.

However your story has one thing not in common with those: The guy didn't say anything about it until long after you'd discovered it yourself. That's a red-flag. Trust your gut and don't see him again.

30

OhThatEthanMiguel t1_j721tav wrote

Maybe he didn't know? He may have thought( or hoped) he just farted... did he go to the bathroom afterwards or just put his pants on right away when he stood up?

5

xscumfucx t1_j72ck7t wrote

Replying to D4m089 (#1,713,233)

I do that but I still require more than 1-2. Wait, are there a lot of people who DON’T spread?! Are they just sitting there shitting with their cheeks stuck together with poo like some sorta sick peanut butter sandwich?!

6

YoggyYog t1_j72w9bf wrote

Replying to sHAkysHAde (#1,708,680)

Unlikely, he probably doesn’t do any maintenance of his behind bush, and doesn’t wipe properly to account for that. Nothing gay about trimming between the crack when it helps keep your sheets clean, and your farts commandingly loud.

13

sweetlikeoleanders t1_j72zswk wrote

naw you banged a dude that didn't know how to wipe his booty 💀💀

9

heyitsvonage t1_j730u6h wrote

Hygiene is important, but this guy doesn’t think so

3

Rikk001 t1_j73em4q wrote

Honestly in this situation, I’d let it go. You could be honest about it, but then again he’d be embarrassed too, but you could be helping him by making him aware. 🤷🏽‍♂️

0

Damnitjo t1_j73y050 wrote

Next Reddit post … Today a lady rode me so good I shit myself 😂😂😂

4

YoggyYog t1_j75spxe wrote

Replying to pzzia02 (#1,719,265)

I use a pair of hair scissors, and snip most of it, to tidy it up. No need to go all the way down to skin, or shave, because they’ll cause you undue stress when it starts growing again, and the terrain isn’t flat enough to get a clean shave! 😂 It just requires patience, and careful use of hands to guide the scissor blades.

2

Roa-noaZoro t1_j763021 wrote

If ya like him enough ya gotta tell him or decide not to see him again. Be like...you gotta be better cause I like you and idk if you knew you did that but I got plenty of tp you're free to use.

You'll either laugh about it later or he'll ghost you and hopefully do better

2

x6O6x t1_j767u5g wrote

so many people with the same experience. What is it with guys and shit stains on the bed. Do they just not wash their asses.

1

Laurely4u t1_j77205u wrote

Send him cottonelle wipes shipped to his house from Amazon

3

pissfucked t1_j78boex wrote

one time, same fucking thing happened to me except i was already 4 months into the relationship. tried to bring it up gently, he got defensive 🫠 said he was a hairy guy and it wasn't possible to clean it all (ethnically indian guy). i'm fuckin greek! i can basically braid my ass hair if i let it grow. never have i EVER left a full-on skid mark on someone's WHITE sheets while standing up from being fucked. relationship was basically over in that moment. breakup happened a month or two later.

3

frolicndetour t1_j7fzu5b wrote

This is like the fourth story I've read on Reddit in the past week that involved a grown man not wiping his ass properly. Do parents not teach their kids??

1

OhThatEthanMiguel t1_j8azxfz wrote

Replying to disgurstingshiit (#1,792,085)

Well, in that case I'd say he probably found out when he got home. You probably should have told him and just said you didn't want to have a conversation about it but he should know. You could mention you have a gay friend( me) who butt-douches before sex even when topping to avoid discomfort or... exactly this.

1

Nathan-Stubblefield t1_j994uht wrote

Buttprints happen if you’re not wearing shorts or PJ bottoms and you sit on the bed. Change the sheet and life will go on. Pour some detergent right on the stain when you put it in the washer.

1